[Winter Contest Entry 2012] Concerning That Wedding!

Where 'special connections' are concerned, the first thing that came to my mind is my problematic internet connection that turns on and off unexpectedly, much to my frustration. The second thing that came to my mind, after sending a personal
message to the contest organisers and repeatedly banging my head on the computer, was the special connection of marriage and where it all purportedly begun, the bloody wedding ceremony.

I noticed that there are two camps of opinion pertaining to marriage.

The first camp thinks that marriage completes romance and marks the beginning of an eternal bond.

The other camp thinks that marriage finishes romance and marks the beginning of eternal bondage.

For the reader who can't distinguish the difference between those two, allow me to elucidate:

The first camp tend to see marriage as a happy ending to a fairy tale, without realising that it is a happy beginning to what will be a very unhappy nightmare. When they log on to Fakku, they would browse for comics that depict characters
engaging in intercourse and end intercourse feeling very happy about themselves, and they would think that these characters would perhaps go through a wedding, and live happily ever after.

The second camp tend to see marriage as an ominous beginning to a lifetime of hell thereafter, without realising the need to delude oneself to see marriage as a happy beginning to a non-existent lifetime bliss. When they log on to Fakku, they
would browse for comics that depict characters engaging in intercourse and end intercourse feeling very happy about themselves, then they would hope that the characters contract some venereal disease. Or in the worse scenario, engage in intercourse, feel happy about it, have a bun in the oven, go through a wedding, have to deal with the fact that they would have to live with their spouse and their spawns for the rest of their lives or until a divorce is filed and either way land themselves in a financial rut.

So, I decided that it is a very good idea to talk about marriage and see which of the two camps I agree more with. And since it would take too much time to get married and live to tell how it is like after my spouse dies or too expensive to
get married then file for a divorce immediately, I decided to share and analyse a few observations I made at a wedding, purportedly the point in time when marriage begins.

The wedding was held sometime at late November. Before the wedding proper, I showed up at their house as part of a long abided custom and surprisingly I was looking forward to it! It is not everyday that you see people dressed in strange
costumes known as wedding gowns and wedding suits being photographed with a group of people known as myself and my extended family trying to look pleased about it. It was then that I realised that the bride and groom aren't really happy about this, rather it was everyone else who were enjoying themselves looking at the bride and groom suffer from the humiliation.

And it is at that point I realised, marriage is not about love! Marriage is all about putting up a show in front of friends, family and society, and meeting their expectations! Do not let the comics in Fakku fool you! Couples who are in love need not have to go through the drudgery of going through that wedding or enduring marriage. But for the fact that they have something called a social circle they are forced into this charade!

One can continue talking about how marriages are traditionally a social contract between the families of both bride and groom and I can continue pouring cold water and excretement on the notion that marriages are inspired by love but I still have the wedding ceremony to talk about don't I?

To put it simply, the wedding ceremony was an extension of the pre-wedding ceremony, except that it was held in a restaurant located in a hotel, with even larger cameras and a larger audience. It was held later at the evening when I was showed to a seat by a round table accompanied with another group of relatives, where I partake in emotionless gaping. I am glad to say that the other people at the table reciprocated the same way.

But we were spared the discomfort of staring at each other for long as the wedding ceremony begun with a series of slideshows accompanied with pop music which was, like all pop music, very jarring to my ears. Whoever was in charge of slideshow slapped in photos of the couple-to-be-married from the days when they were brought into this world all the way to the very present.

Those in charge of hosting the ceremony then suddenly proclaimed that what follows next is "the time that I have been waiting for" --- more costume roleplay, it seems, as if they haven't been enough people blighting my eyes by trying to pretend to be someone they aren't in an attempt in healthy escapism! (I did say that I was looking forward to it, earlier that day but that is precisely the reason why it did not amuse me that much later on!) Both bride and groom marched down the aisle, exchanged saliva through an act most people would describe as kissing and I couldn't care less.

But then what followed is really the moment I am truly waiting for --- the ten course dinner.

I will admit that I am a glutton but I am guessing so are the rest of those people who would take time off to take part in a wedding. For a gift of money as little as 2 US dollars, you can sink your teeth into well-cooked meals prepared by chefs of consummate culinary skill, and at the same time gloat at the fact that whoever who forked out money for the wedding had paid tens of thousands of dollars so that we can freeload dinner!

For persons who are not familiar with how wedding dinners are conducted in my part of the world, be relieved. You need not put up with giving your hosts a toast, wishing them a long marriage, a large progeny and other horrifying prospects by yelling your lungs out for as long as possible. Towards the end of that dinner, you will definitely have a chance to take yet more photographs with the bride, groom and their parents as go from table to table. That is all right with me, but definitely not all right for the bride, the groom and those who brought them to this world.

Notwithstanding that, there is a reason why I enjoy stuffing my face with a 10 course meal. It is because it gives me the opportunity to observe people and then find reasons for me to be a pessimistic, emotion-drained and generally unhappy wreck with these observations. Now, let me give you an opportunity to peer into the lens of a pessimistic, emotion-drained and generally unhappy wreck as he saw the bride, groom, the in-laws and everyone else, namely my lens.

The groom appeared to look rather agitated. One could suppose that this is because of the hard work he put in for most of the day. I decide to interpret this in dark and Freudian terms. He can't wait to make sweet sweet love to his newly acquired sex slave.

The bride on the other hand looks more happier, but I can't help but to feel that the grin on her face was more sinister than it appeared to be. So, I also decided to interpret that in dark and Freudian terms as well. She can't wait to make her husband her new slave by making her husband think that she is a newly acquired sex slave.

But the in-laws appear to be even happier than both the bride and the groom! There is nothing dark or Freudian about that. After being slaves to their children for so long, throwing so much resources into educating them, giving in to their whining and pining, essentially slogging their guts out for them, it is finally their turn to make their children their slaves!

But the happiest of all ought to be everyone else for reasons I am more than glad to repeat. They managed to freeload ten course dinners and most of all, they are glad not to be in the shoes of those whose lives will be irrevocably changed by that wedding! For the worse, I might add.

So after the wedding dinner, those invited to the wedding, including myself scarpered. That ends my recollection of the wedding and begins the post mortem of the wedding. This post mortem, as required by the contest rules, will be dominated by this question: What does the wedding tell us about the special connection that is marriage?

And to tell you the truth, going through the wedding could be one huge red herring after all! You (or rather I) must be stupid to think that one stupid ceremony will dictate how the marriage will turn out. Yet, one can pick up hints here and there or make stupid assumptions based on biased 'observations' as I have done for most of the above paragraphs.

Nonetheless, I believe I know and you know which camp I fall in, where opinion about marriage is concerned. And due to my nature, I am forever doomed into rationalising many matters, marriage included, as an endeavour undertaken by people who lost their marbles.

That said and done, after you have wasted precious minutes of your time reading this, I really wonder if you could feel better about marriage and all other things in life when I wish you:

well done, here's one free internet for ya~

it's beautifully crafted and I can see myself giggling at it from the start to finish

^ Thank you very much, High. This goes to show how funny negative and cynical interpretations are really.

^
being negative and cynical is good too, and your entry pretty much proves it lol~

Maybe, but not likely, I would try to search for videos and Youtube that portray weddings that I usually attend. I think that for most people, yelling your lungs out or giving cash gifts are the last things they would associate with a wedding.

I for myself are too lazy to waste my time on attending the weddings lol~

Many of these were pretty much boring, except when I sometimes get bunch of extra money from my family members jajaja, that and the delicious snacks~

^ These are the best things to get from a wedding, money, food and cosplay!

yeah, I forgot about the cosplay thingy~

maybe because most of my family members look like wreck upon attending the wedding with their silly costumes, and I for myself look pretty much like a dilapidated wreck being so lustful with hunger trying to fill my belly up until it made me puke not to mention of many other stomachache troubles~

It appears that going on Youtube and finding videos of weddings isn't that difficult at all. Shame on me for being lazy. If anyone who reads this find it challenging to picture what the protagonist had to go through, here is a video that depicts it so much more clearly!

A shaggy dog story with an amusing tone in my opinion.

I have no real idea what to say. I know Reality, but Delusions that Marriage is a romantic affair...At least let that remain with me head! >.
Well, i like how you approached this. The logical-ish approach made it feel very informative, and hell it really was! I learned a bunch of stuff i...Well, didn't really want to know but whatever, it was a good piece of work.

I don't really have criticism for you as i can't find anything to critique really, except maybe your attitude to someone's supposedly "Happy Day", but hell, opinions are opinions so i could care less.

Though, your cynicism and the dark humour(as it were) made it all the more interesting. For me i really liked that part about slaving, that was funny enough to put a smile on my face.

Hidden Puns here and there, this was an amusing read! Good work all around.

I haven't read any other entries so i can't judge, but i'll say this is a pretty solid entry.

Not that you mentioned it, I accept that criticism. Self-depreciation is better than mocking anyone else other than myself. No newlywed will be amused if he or she reads this.

Thank goodness Leonard267 is just an online persona nobody knows about! I would really get into trouble if people know who I really am!

^ I am glad that you liked the Summer Entry. I know of someone who is very impressed with your entry in the contest. Of course, the opinions of this writeup aren't really how I feel just like the Summer Contest. I am just lumping all of the complaints I have heard from people concerning this topic.

If I were to say how I really felt at the wedding, I can only say that I am grateful to sit through a ten course meal. I also feel that I have to give 'face' to my mother (the groom is from my mother's side of the family) and her family by attending that wedding.

Nice! The introduction pulled me in and kept me interested, which is not easily done.

Having married 2 years ago, I can definitely see both perspectives. I can honestly say I am happily married but we both knew that the ceremony is more for family and friends from the start, so we kept it pretty relaxed. Truly though, if we had to do it again, we would have just thrown a pool party! It is so much work. Oh, but the food was great. Lol!

Thank you for sharing that with me. It is nice to know how weddings at different parts of the world are being conducted.

Of course, the views express in this writeup is more cynical and does not show the whole picture of what marriage is and what weddings are.

That said, I was wondering if you have seen the video posted in this thread depicting one of the weddings I have to go through.

I admit the opening was boring for me. NOT because you wrote it badly, but because I have almost no interest in learning or reading about marriage.
But as I kept reading somehow you made something I find horribly boring to become quite interesting.

Your style of writing is something that appeals to me very much and that alone would have been enough to keep me reading till the very end.

I only have 2 complaints about this story, the first being it seems like a mix of a story and a topic in the Serious Discussion threads. So I wasn't sure if it was a telling or a retelling format.

Secondly and this is horribly small I noticed a few times your paragraphs began with the same word twice in a row. I am unsure of this is bad, good or indifferent writing techniques but just something I noticed.

The positives far outweigh the small negatives, I do not often read none fictional stories though, so my apologies if my feedback is not on the money here.

I must thank you for reading it! It is no laughing matter having to read through hundreds of words.

I thought it was amusing repeating the same words twice in a paragraph but with little variations here and there. But as you pointed out, it can backfire.

Again, I am glad to have introduced you to what I write. They are most definitely not stories but cynical interpretations of real life.

Meeting my expectations with your cynical writing! As always, your style of writing combined with your fairly wide use of vocabulary keeps my attention quite nicely.

What I am more impressed about it how well you exert your opinion subtly.



You do not simply write about what you see through your lens, but you come off as didactic and comment on how someone 'should' think. To me, this actually adds to your writing style and further enhances your cynical writing! Kind of like a piece of Freudian writing in that you try to sway the audience.

Overall, your vocabulary and writing is more than enough to sustain your writing and trap the unfortunate reader into reading the entirety of your work. I must say I did enjoy it, and sadly, I am one of those that reside in the first camp.

Also, "lost their marbles." Excellent. I thought such a phrase was lost in history. It's good to know that people still actively use it, at least on some level.

Good laughs were had.

That said, I found your choice of words appropriate in most cases, good work.

Nice work. As said before, the introduction is good and works (not for Livided though) to pull the reader in and make him read on. Like Livided said though it's hard to judge if this is a story or just a post, since it's hard to judge the distance between you and the narrator of the story. That is not to say you cannot be the narrator of your own story, but it can be a tricky thing to do.

I think you make some interesting and sometimes funny points about marriage. The only things that bugged me while reading was your choice of words which was sometimes very formal and sometimes very colloquial and made for a strange mix, and your overuse of the exclamation mark. I always feel like the writer is shouting at me when it's used, especially if it#s not in dialogue.

Also I have to say your integration of fakku and how people would look for things depending on how they view marriage seemed strange to me and I don't think it really works, but that might just be me.

Nonetheless a good work of writing here, so keep it up.