[Winter Contest Entry 2012] Concerning That Wedding!

Where 'special connections' are concerned, the first thing that came to my mind is my problematic internet connection that turns on and off unexpectedly, much to my frustration. The second thing that came to my mind, after sending a personal
message to the contest organisers and repeatedly banging my head on the computer(Breaking the fourth wall, or just a reflecting piece? An interesting take.), was the special connection of marriage and where it all purportedly begun,: the bloody wedding ceremony.

I noticed that there are two camps of opinion pertaining to marriage.

The first camp thinks that marriage completes romance and marks the beginning of an eternal bond.

The other camp thinks that marriage finishes romance and marks the beginning of eternal bondage.

For the reader who can't distinguish the difference between those two, allow me to elucidate:

The first camp tends to see marriage as a happy ending to a fairy tale, without realising that it is a happy beginning to what will be a very unhappy nightmare. When they log on to Fakku, they would browse for comics that depict characters
engaging in intercourse and end intercourse feeling very happy about themselves, and they would think that these characters would perhaps go through a wedding, and live happily ever after.

The second camp tends to see marriage as an ominous beginning to a lifetime of hell thereafter, without realising the need to delude oneself to see marriage as a happy beginning to a non-existent lifetime bliss (What is this? A non-existent life of bliss? Or a non-existent blissful life?). When they log on to Fakku, they
would browse for comics that depict characters engaging in intercourse and end intercourse feeling very happy about themselves, then they would hope that the characters contract some venereal disease (What). Or in the worse scenario, engage in intercourse, feel happy about it, have a bun in the oven, go through a wedding, have to deal with the fact that they would have to live with their spouse and their spawns for the rest of their lives or until a divorce is filed and either way land themselves in a financial rut.

So, I decided that it iswould be a very good idea to talk about marriage and see which of the two camps I agree more with. And(You shouldn’t start a sentence with †˜And’) sSince it would take too much time to get married and live to tell how it is like after my spouse dies, or too expensive to
get married and then file for a divorce immediately, I decided to share and analyse a few observations I made at a wedding, purportedly the point in time when marriage begins.

The wedding was held sometime atin late November. Before the wedding proper, I showed up at their house as part of a long abided custom and, surprisingly, I was looking forward to it! It is not every(space)day that you see people dressed in strange
costumes known as wedding gowns and wedding suits, being photographed with a group of people, known as myself and my extended family trying to look pleased about it(Were you trying to look pleased about it, or was your extended family? Both?). It was then that I realised that the bride and groom aren't really happy about this, rather it was everyone else who were enjoying themselves looking at the bride and groom suffer from the humiliation.

And(Don't begin your paragraphs with the word †˜And’) iIt iwas at that point I realised, marriage is not about love! Marriage is all about putting up a show in front of friends, family and society, and meeting their expectations! Do not let the comics in Fakku fool you! Couples who are in love need not have to go through the drudgery of going through(Repeated word usage) that wedding or enduring marriage. But(Also don’t start a sentence with †˜But’) It is for the fact that they have something called a social circle that they are forced into this charade!

One can continue talking about how marriages are traditionally a social contract between the families of both bride and groom, and I can continue pouring cold water and excretement(What) on the notion that marriages are inspired by love but I still have the wedding ceremony to talk about, don't I?

To put it simply, the wedding ceremony was an extension of the pre-wedding ceremony(In that it felt superficial. Probably could have been better stated.), except that it was held in a restaurant located in a hotel, with even larger cameras and a larger audience. It was held later atin the evening when I was showned to a seat by a round table accompanied with another group of relatives, where I partaooke in emotionless gaping. I am glad to say that the other people at the table reciprocated the same way.

But(Just like 'And,' you really shouldn’t start with †˜But’ at the beginning of a paragraph, let alone a sentence.) wWe were spared the discomfort of staring at each other for long as the wedding ceremony begun with a series of slideshows accompanied with pop music which was, like all pop music, very jarring to my ears. Whoever was in charge of the slideshow slapped in photos of the couple-to-be-married from the days when they were brought into this world all the way to the very present.

Those in charge of hosting the ceremony then suddenly proclaimed that what follows next is "the time that I have been waiting for" --- more costume role-play, it seems, as if therey hadven't been enough people blighting my eyes by trying to pretend to be someone they aren't in an attempt in healthy escapism!(Could be shortened.) (I did say that I was looking forward to it, earlier that day but that is precisely the reason why it did not amuse me that much later on!) Both bride and groom marched down the aisle, exchanged saliva through an act most people would describe as kissing and I couldn't care less.

But(Again) tThen what followed iwas really the moment I amwas truly waiting for --- the ten-course dinner.

I will admit that I am a glutton, but I am guessing so are the rest of those people who would take time off to take part in a wedding. For a gift of money as little as 2 US dollars, you can sink your teeth into well-cooked meals prepared by chefs of consummate culinary skill, and at the same time gloat at the fact that whoever who forked out money for the wedding had paid tens of thousands of dollars so that we can freeload dinner!(Run-on sentence, create a break somewhere.)

For persons who are not familiar with how wedding dinners are conducted in my part of the world, be relieved. You need not put up with giving your hosts a toast, wishing them a long marriage, a large progeny and other horrifying prospects by yelling your lungs out for as long as possible. Towards the end of that dinner, you will definitely have a chance to take yet more photographs with the bride, groom and their parents as go from table to table. That is all right with me, but definitely not all right for the bride, the groom and those who brought them to this world.

Notwithstanding that, there is a reason why I enjoy stuffing my face with a 10-course meal. It is because it gives me the opportunity to observe people and then find reasons for me to be a pessimistic, emotion-drained and generally unhappy wreck with these observations. Now, let me give you an opportunity to peer into the lens of a pessimistic, emotion-drained and generally unhappy wreck as he saw the bride, groom, the in-laws and everyone else, namely my lens.

The groom appeared to look rather agitated. One could suppose that this is because of the hard work he put in for most of the day. I decided to interpret this in dark and Freudian terms. He can't wait to make sweet sweet(I get what you're trying to get at, but avoid repeated words like this.) love to his newly acquired sex slave.

The bride on the other hand looks more happier, but I can't help but to feel that the grin on her face was more sinister than it appeared to be. So, I also decided to interpret that in dark and Freudian terms as well. She can't wait to make her husband her new slave by making her husband think that she is a newly acquired sex slave.

But(Again) tThe in-laws appear to be even happier than both the bride and the groom! There is nothing dark or Freudian about that. After being slaves to their children for so long, throwing so manyuch resources into educating them, giving in to their whining and pining, essentially slogging their guts out for them, it is finally their turn to make their children their slaves!

But(Again) tThe happiest of all ought to be everyone else for reasons I am more than glad to repeat. They managed to freeload ten-course dinners and most of all, they are glad not to be in the shoes of those whose lives will be irrevocably changed by that wedding! For the worse, I might add.

So after the wedding dinner, those invited to the wedding, including myself, scarpered. That ends my recollection of the wedding and begins the post mortem of the wedding. This post mortem, as required by the contest rules, will be dominated by this question: What does the wedding tell us about the special connection that is marriage?

And(Again) tTo tell you the truth, going through the wedding could be one huge red herring after all! You (or rather I) must be stupid to think that one stupid ceremony will dictate how the marriage will turn out. Yet, one can pick up hints here and there or make stupid assumptions based on biased 'observations' as I have done for most of the above paragraphs. (Clever observation.)

Nonetheless, I believe I know and you know which camp I fall in, where opinion about marriage is concerned. And(Again) dDue to my nature, I am forever doomed into rationalising many matters, marriage included, as an endeavour undertaken by people who have lost their marbles.

That said and done, after you have wasted precious minutes of your time reading this (And grading it, asshole), I really wonder if you could feel better about marriage and all other things in life when I wish you: