Advice

So a friend of mine just went through a rough break up with the guy she claimed she loved and could not be without. Now i want to help her through this but i don't know how and i have some deep feelings for her and don't want to look like i am trying to catch her on the rebound. But if it ends up looking like that i don't care that much cause i just want to help her more then anything right now.

Just to clarify, this was the same problem you spoke of at one point in this forum correct?

Anyways, the way things are looking now, she really just needs someone she can trust, a best friend if you will. Now while you do have feelings for her, it is better to play the role of the "I'll be there" guy. You don't need to tell her much, just be there, offer yourself as a listening/venting person. She'll appreciate what you do even if you can't find the words to say. It's technically not being a rebound guy as you're not hounding her, you're simply being a friend. And I certainly doubt anyone can criticize you for helping someone in need.

Yes this is apart of it and the only thing i had to do with the break up is i was not going to be able to go a toga party with her to keep a eye out for her boyfriend. But when i found out yesterday she said she was going to be sick and wanted to be alone i just not have figured out what to do today. Frankly i am really worried and just don't know how to approach her.

What you can do is to try and keep contact with her. Now, because it looks like this was really recent, it's best to leave her alone for the first day. After this grace period though, try to pry in, have her see that you're trying to reach out. When people seclude themselves, that's usually a silent cry for help because they don't know what to do either. If she seems like she really doesn't want any help, back off, try again the next day. Initially no one would accept help, but with persistence and time, people do open up and take in that help.

Thanks for the good advice Nhezu. Normally i cant help my friends until i have to fight someone lol.

WRONG! I must protest definitively!

If she couldn't live without him, that means he became a part of her identity. Or to put it more abstractly: having a boyfriend is part of what she perceives herself to be! Which means that there is a "void" in the way she feels about herself. Its like when you thought you are the greatest skater on the world and devoted my time to it, to get owned by a beginner. You would then fist become depressive, and then try to do something new as fast as you can!

This means that she needs a new boyfriend as soon as she is out of her depression. If you try it too early, she will be annoyed by you, if you try it too late, she ll get another guy or go back to him again. You must carefully asses the situation, don't be overeager, but more importantly; DON'T BE COWARDLY!

However, if you try being the "I'll be there"-guy, you will get stuck in the friend/brother-role. And once you are her friend it is hard to become her lover. So be nice and friendly to her, but don't "hang around" with her!!!

Once you find the right moment (as mentioned above), tell her you always felt strongly for her and did not want to put her into a dilemma by telling her that when she was in an relationship - or something along those lines.

And ta-da you get your easy sex out from a female friend who has just broke up a strong relationship. I hope i could help! Please notice to adapt every of those steps/principles to your specific situation, and don't be a coward!

If you want a meaningful future with her, listan to Nhezu.

If you just want to get laid, listen to Tachyon.

No offense Tachyon but im going to go with Nhezu's advice cause i dont want to just screw her i actually really like her.