Advice please?
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So here's the deal.
I live with my boyfriend (moved from East Bay Area (CA) to Houston (TX)), and I love him to death. We're really happy together, and we're getting married sometime. I've already said yes, it's just a matter of going to fill out legal paperwork and such now. He goes to work every day while I stay home and cook/clean/whatever all day until he comes home, then we spend the rest of the day together. Pretty damn good life if you ask me.
(I just got a job, but I haven't started yet.)
The problem?
I kinda wish I was back in school. I moved in with him 3 months after I graduated high school, so I haven't gotten any college education. Yet.
I guess just seeing all my old classmates posting about their college experiences on facebook makes me a little jealous.
So why am I not in school?
I don't know what I'd want to go for in college, and I don't have enough money right now. I'll only be making a little under $400/month with the job I have, and my dad doesn't have enough money to put me through school. My boyfriend is single-handedly supporting the both of us, and he's not making enough right now to put me through school, although he said that he's going to do his best to help once he gets a few more raises from work.
Mom supposedly has ~10k saved up for my college fund, but that's just based off her claims. We're on horrible terms right now, because I'm done with being her little bitch. She wouldn't send me my social security card for the longest time, which I needed to get a job. I wasn't able to get a copy on my own because I didn't have a state ID. (You need a birth certificate and SS card to get an ID. How convenient.)
She wouldn't send me my winter clothes, saying that I should have gotten them before I moved, but she never let me get them while I was still in Cali. :/
And the worst part? She doomed my relationship from the start, and now she won't accept that I've moved out and am living my own life. As a result, I've just stopped talking to her, because every time I did, they were one sided conversations that were all about her. She wouldn't acknowledge anything I said about my life or my boyfriend.
aaaaaaaaaaaaand finally.
I might be pregnant. Which is really exciting, I love my boyfriend/soon-to-be husband, and having a kid with him is like creating the embodiment of our love for each other. And that's really fucking sweet.
But then, where does that leave me in terms of school?
I don't necessarily want to be the uneducated housewife.
So. Sorry for the long ass post, I guess I just really want some advice here.
Like...what should I go for if I do end up going back to school?
Or if online classes are a good idea while I'm taking care of the kid in 9 months?
I don't know. Any advice is appreciated.
I live with my boyfriend (moved from East Bay Area (CA) to Houston (TX)), and I love him to death. We're really happy together, and we're getting married sometime. I've already said yes, it's just a matter of going to fill out legal paperwork and such now. He goes to work every day while I stay home and cook/clean/whatever all day until he comes home, then we spend the rest of the day together. Pretty damn good life if you ask me.
(I just got a job, but I haven't started yet.)
The problem?
I kinda wish I was back in school. I moved in with him 3 months after I graduated high school, so I haven't gotten any college education. Yet.
I guess just seeing all my old classmates posting about their college experiences on facebook makes me a little jealous.
So why am I not in school?
I don't know what I'd want to go for in college, and I don't have enough money right now. I'll only be making a little under $400/month with the job I have, and my dad doesn't have enough money to put me through school. My boyfriend is single-handedly supporting the both of us, and he's not making enough right now to put me through school, although he said that he's going to do his best to help once he gets a few more raises from work.
Mom supposedly has ~10k saved up for my college fund, but that's just based off her claims. We're on horrible terms right now, because I'm done with being her little bitch. She wouldn't send me my social security card for the longest time, which I needed to get a job. I wasn't able to get a copy on my own because I didn't have a state ID. (You need a birth certificate and SS card to get an ID. How convenient.)
She wouldn't send me my winter clothes, saying that I should have gotten them before I moved, but she never let me get them while I was still in Cali. :/
And the worst part? She doomed my relationship from the start, and now she won't accept that I've moved out and am living my own life. As a result, I've just stopped talking to her, because every time I did, they were one sided conversations that were all about her. She wouldn't acknowledge anything I said about my life or my boyfriend.
Spoiler:
aaaaaaaaaaaaand finally.
I might be pregnant. Which is really exciting, I love my boyfriend/soon-to-be husband, and having a kid with him is like creating the embodiment of our love for each other. And that's really fucking sweet.
But then, where does that leave me in terms of school?
I don't necessarily want to be the uneducated housewife.
So. Sorry for the long ass post, I guess I just really want some advice here.
Like...what should I go for if I do end up going back to school?
Or if online classes are a good idea while I'm taking care of the kid in 9 months?
I don't know. Any advice is appreciated.
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Kadushy
Douchebag
Why don't you start by signing up for FAFSA to try and get some Financial Aid to help with your schooling?
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Kadushy wrote...
Why don't you start by signing up for FAFSA to try and get some Financial Aid to help with your schooling?:/ I thought about that but I want to know what I want to take first, before getting the financial aid stuff situated. Kinda pointless to sign up if I'm not going to go to school right away..right? Because I might not go for at least a year.
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mibuchiha
Fakku Elder
Doesn't seem like the money issue is gonna get better anytime soon. But you seem to have loads of time home so I'd say first decide what you want to study. What field you're interested in yak yak all the usual stuff.
In this case I don't think you're gonna get that 10k, assuming it even exists so for college you'll have to wait until your guy get some raises and add that with your savings, you'll have enough to enroll somewhere.
It seems that you're gonna welcome that baby so that's another thing you'd like to consider. I doubt you'll want to attend classes while your child is still a baby so I'd say the timing nicely agrees with how long it takes to prepare the money...
So in the meantime, equip yourself with the necessary knowledge to excel in whatever you're gonna be studying. Plenty of free knowledge source in the internet, so once you have chosen what you wanna study go for it. When you do enroll you'll be paying with hard-earned money so you definitely don't want to be repeating etc.
In the worst case that you're not going to school in the years to come, you'll still be quite educated anyway. Just without a degree.
In this case I don't think you're gonna get that 10k, assuming it even exists so for college you'll have to wait until your guy get some raises and add that with your savings, you'll have enough to enroll somewhere.
It seems that you're gonna welcome that baby so that's another thing you'd like to consider. I doubt you'll want to attend classes while your child is still a baby so I'd say the timing nicely agrees with how long it takes to prepare the money...
So in the meantime, equip yourself with the necessary knowledge to excel in whatever you're gonna be studying. Plenty of free knowledge source in the internet, so once you have chosen what you wanna study go for it. When you do enroll you'll be paying with hard-earned money so you definitely don't want to be repeating etc.
In the worst case that you're not going to school in the years to come, you'll still be quite educated anyway. Just without a degree.
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mibuchiha wrote...
Doesn't seem like the money issue is gonna get better anytime soon. But you seem to have loads of time home so I'd say first decide what you want to study. What field you're interested in yak yak all the usual stuff.In this case I don't think you're gonna get that 10k, assuming it even exists so for college you'll have to wait until your guy get some raises and add that with your savings, you'll have enough to enroll somewhere.
It seems that you're gonna welcome that baby so that's another thing you'd like to consider. I doubt you'll want to attend classes while your child is still a baby so I'd say the timing nicely agrees with how long it takes to prepare the money...
So in the meantime, equip yourself with the necessary knowledge to excel in whatever you're gonna be studying. Plenty of free knowledge source in the internet, so once you have chosen what you wanna study go for it. When you do enroll you'll be paying with hard-earned money so you definitely don't want to be repeating etc.
In the worst case that you're not going to school in the years to come, you'll still be quite educated anyway. Just without a degree.
All my interests are art/music related.....if I went back to school, it's going to be something I don't particularly care for.
Right now I'm just teaching myself music production and hoping that I'll make it someday.
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Lughost
the Lugoat
Iirc you can fill out the FAFSA and see what sort of aid you are eligible for without immediately taking any.
Why do you want to go back to school? If you said it your op then I guessed I missed it.
With the money situation and the baby it seems to me that college will have to wait for a while.
Why do you want to go back to school? If you said it your op then I guessed I missed it.
With the money situation and the baby it seems to me that college will have to wait for a while.
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Grenouille88 wrote...
Iirc you can fill out the FAFSA and see what sort of aid you are eligible for without immediately taking any. Why do you want to go back to school? If you said it your op then I guessed I missed it.
With the money situation and the baby it seems to me that college will have to wait for a while.
Huh. I guess I could give that a shot.
I want to go back to school so that I actually have a degree/education and can help support the family. I feel bad about being kinda financially useless right now. My guy has been taking a lot of overtime just to save up for our kid.
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mibuchiha
Fakku Elder
hiirana wrote...
if I went back to school, it's going to be something I don't particularly care for.Then why go at all?
Oh ok you explained it. But still, doesn't seem like a very good reason to me. As in, if you're gonna go through the trouble, might as well do it for something you're passionate about.
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mibuchiha wrote...
might as well do it for something you're passionate about.Electronic music and art?
Seems like a waste of money imo..
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I think you should focus on one thing at a time. I'd be best if you concentrate on work for now and save up as much as you can. I am going threw something kind of similar with the whole school situation. There really isn't a need to rush things. What may have worked for your friends (going to college right after high school) doesn't mean it has to work for you. As long as you're always doing something to reach your goals, it will happen. Baby or no baby. Wish you luck.
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Lughost
the Lugoat
hiirana wrote...
Grenouille88 wrote...
Iirc you can fill out the FAFSA and see what sort of aid you are eligible for without immediately taking any. Why do you want to go back to school? If you said it your op then I guessed I missed it.
With the money situation and the baby it seems to me that college will have to wait for a while.
Huh. I guess I could give that a shot.
I want to go back to school so that I actually have a degree/education and can help support the family. I feel bad about being kinda financially useless right now. My guy has been taking a lot of overtime just to save up for our kid.
So then you want to get a degree so you can get a (good) job then?
If so you would have to pick between studying somwthing you enjoy and studying something marketable that would very quickly get you a job, provided that the two don't overlap.
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Grenouille88 wrote...
If so you would have to pick between studying somwthing you enjoy and studying something marketable that would very quickly get you a job, provided that the two don't overlap. I'd go for something marketable right now, since electronic music and art stuff aren't marketable in the slightest. :/ but I have no idea what to do.
Teaching? Accounting? anything else?
I'd prefer something relatively quick and easy, because I'd like to spend time with our kid once I pop the little bugger out..
diabolicalkitten wrote...
I think you should focus on one thing at a time. I'd be best if you concentrate on work for now and save up as much as you can. I am going threw something kind of similar with the whole school situation. There really isn't a need to rush things. What may have worked for your friends (going to college right after high school) doesn't mean it has to work for you. As long as you're always doing something to reach your goals, it will happen. Baby or no baby. Wish you luck.Thanks, I appreciate it.
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Lughost
the Lugoat
hiirana wrote...
Grenouille88 wrote...
If so you would have to pick between studying somwthing you enjoy and studying something marketable that would very quickly get you a job, provided that the two don't overlap. I'd go for something marketable right now, since electronic music and art stuff aren't marketable in the slightest. :/ but I have no idea what to do.
Teaching? Accounting? anything else?
I'd prefer something relatively quick and easy, because I'd like to spend time with our kid once I pop the little bugger out..
Do NOT do teaching. There is not a good job market for teachers right now.
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I, unfortunately don't have any advice for you since I am inexperienced.
All I can give you is a congratulations on getting married and possibly becoming pregnent.
I wish you and your soon to be husband good luck on your jearney of parenthood together.
All I can give you is a congratulations on getting married and possibly becoming pregnent.
I wish you and your soon to be husband good luck on your jearney of parenthood together.
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With all the things you have on the plate at the moment, my suggestion for you would be to take things slow. Right now you should have a checklist of priorities you need to go through and i believe your possible pregnancy should be at the top. Systematically deal with your issues one at a time (easier said than done, i understand that fully), but this would be the best way to tackle all the things happening in your life right now. Rushing into things without any concrete plan wouldn't be the best thing to do.
You're about to bring new life in this world, so i would work on accommodating that eventuality along with finding time to balance that new job you're about to take (You probably will have to take maternity leave from this). Set yourself up securely in those areas first.
You're still young and your passion for education should never waver whatever age you'll be entering into, but at the moment i believe it'll be hard to juggle your school, child, job and wifey duties all at the same time (This may stress you out a lot and nobody would want that). So stabilize some of the other things and then get your post secondary education (College life is awesome. Make sure to enjoy it responsibly). Your situation with your mother is unfortunate, but with the time you get in between getting yourself set up for college, you should be able to at least set aside an amount, if any, that you could spend for your studies.
It's late and i'm really fatigued, so i do hope i get my point across. I do wish you the best of luck and would like to congratulate you on your little boy/girl(possibly).
Regards,
0Dawg
You're about to bring new life in this world, so i would work on accommodating that eventuality along with finding time to balance that new job you're about to take (You probably will have to take maternity leave from this). Set yourself up securely in those areas first.
You're still young and your passion for education should never waver whatever age you'll be entering into, but at the moment i believe it'll be hard to juggle your school, child, job and wifey duties all at the same time (This may stress you out a lot and nobody would want that). So stabilize some of the other things and then get your post secondary education (College life is awesome. Make sure to enjoy it responsibly). Your situation with your mother is unfortunate, but with the time you get in between getting yourself set up for college, you should be able to at least set aside an amount, if any, that you could spend for your studies.
It's late and i'm really fatigued, so i do hope i get my point across. I do wish you the best of luck and would like to congratulate you on your little boy/girl(possibly).
Regards,
0Dawg
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hiirana wrote...
Grenouille88 wrote...
If so you would have to pick between studying somwthing you enjoy and studying something marketable that would very quickly get you a job, provided that the two don't overlap. I'd go for something marketable right now, since electronic music and art stuff aren't marketable in the slightest. :/ but I have no idea what to do.
Teaching? Accounting? anything else?
I'd prefer something relatively quick and easy, because I'd like to spend time with our kid once I pop the little bugger out..
diabolicalkitten wrote...
I think you should focus on one thing at a time. I'd be best if you concentrate on work for now and save up as much as you can. I am going threw something kind of similar with the whole school situation. There really isn't a need to rush things. What may have worked for your friends (going to college right after high school) doesn't mean it has to work for you. As long as you're always doing something to reach your goals, it will happen. Baby or no baby. Wish you luck.Thanks, I appreciate it.
Unfortunately there is no "quick and easy job" that can still net you a reasonable income.
If you go to college, you go there to study and get a degree, not to have fun. If you end up having to take care of a child, it would be near impossible for you to do anything college related for at least 6-10 years considering your current financial situation.
The reality is, if you have a child, you'll end up as a housewife doing part time jobs occasionally for the rest of your life, or not have a child and go to a university to get a degree.
Neither choice is even remotely close to easy.
I am not very familiar with online courses seeing how I'm in a traditional university, but I don't think online courses are very easy nor time efficient. Unless you have exceptional luck, your baby would be dominating your attention pretty much 24 hours a day. You'll have no time to have intimate time with your boyfriend at all.
I don't really want to force my views on others, but my belief is that one should not conceive before they can take care of themselves and built a stable path for the future. Perhaps one really likes children, but how would one feel if having that child will result in the entire family living miserably for the rest of their lives?
Also, last resort is to suck it up and have your mom help you. It's very unpleasant but sometimes we have to sacrifice our current happiness and freedom to ensure that there is still a future.
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try to find a college close enough that you can commute, gas is usually cheaper than staying at the college. if youre good at managing you time then online classes are really useful.
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Online classes work like this. First you sign up online in the website, pick what curriculum you want/need and fill in the requirements. Once that is finished you'll have to wait to get approved. After you get approved they will send you dates on when specifically you need to be online for the "live lecture" but they'll also send you notes and others I believe. As for exams they will also send you specific dates and time. Exams are time limited so you can kiss the hopes of cheating goodbye (I'm not saying cheating is bad all the time but when you're using your own money to learn then make the most out of it)
If this seems fine to you then I suggest you go for it but do plan out EVERYTHING ahead. Having a child is a life changing experience, be it good or bad.
Lastly, I sincerely wish the very best for you and your family. I chose my current course for college for the sole reason of having the time being with future kids, future waifu and also having the money to support them all.
If this seems fine to you then I suggest you go for it but do plan out EVERYTHING ahead. Having a child is a life changing experience, be it good or bad.
Lastly, I sincerely wish the very best for you and your family. I chose my current course for college for the sole reason of having the time being with future kids, future waifu and also having the money to support them all.