"Alone and depressed, but not really depressed"

I'm really emotional. Like. Really emotional.

And not having a partner makes me really depressed. I hate being alone. ;-;

But at the same time... I, well, don't care. It's almost like I'm so depressed it's gone off the scale and I just don't care about having a romantic partner anymore. Anyone else feel like this? And... is it normal to be so awfully wanting a girlfriend/boyfriend (I'm bi, get over it), and having such bad luck with it that it just doesn't even phase you at all anymore? And does anyone know how rare women that are sexually dominant are? 'Cos I'm guessing really rare.

Oh, only slight related question, is it selfish to not feel attracted to someone if they totally don't agree with your sexual kinks and fetishes, or would you have to be some kind of stupid asshole to think that way...? x_x

I have been through this stage in my life. I wanted a girlfriend or boyfriend (I'm Pansexual)and it was paining me not to have one, but at the same time I was so f**king depressed that I didn't have one I just plainly didn't care, but I waited and hanged in their for a little bit and after about 4 years I finally found someone who could make me feel happy about having a partner, but not so excited that I needed to burst it out, they gave a little match of fire to my haystack, they lighted up my youth for a long time, I am still with them.

Btw, to answer your other question, I think there is a fine line between it, I mean if its as in, they don't like ONE of my fetishes, I don't love them, then you’re an asshole, but if its i don't like ANY of your fetishes, then it is fine not to be so hooked on them.

Sometimes people do better as part of a group/pair!

And nah, it's not selfish, but it may be based in lust. Still, it's quite possible to still be attracted to someone who doesn't like exactly what you do! :)

Hmmm...lemme try to tackle each question at a time.

No, I specifically don't feel that depressed. Yes, I'm sad that I have yet to find love, but it also gives me the strength to work harder and hope for the best.

No answer to the normal part.

Not really as rare as you think. You just need to look in the right places, or perhaps in all the places. You never know who's really sexually dominant and who isn't. ;)

Unfortunately, I've had no actual experience in relationships, but I sincerely hope that I can still love my partner, even if they don't have the same perversions as I do.

Sounds familiar. Right out of high school, and for the next few years after, I was feeling really alone, and as though I really wanted to find someone to love and consider my significant other.

But it wouldn't have worked out, my state of employment was really shaky, and unfortunately is again now, and I wasn't looking for a fling like a high school kid anymore. I wanted something serious, dating with at least the chance of it being a serious relationship. But without being able to take care of myself, I felt it wouldn't be fair to share my life, my burdens, with someone else.

Now a few more years go by (hard to imagine it's been nearly six years since I've been in school), I don't find myself caring too much anymore. If I find someone to be with, that would probably be nice, but I no longer feel like my life is incomplete without someone to love.

I've been with a few girls and a few guys since then, but it has ironically gone back to the whole fling again. Or rather that is often what they are expecting and I'm not, which is why all of them ended poorly.

now, you and artcellrox are probably going to hate me... buuut:

-I at some stage was in such a depression over my girlfriends, all the ones i got with either cheated on me, or just wanted me for sex/ transport (had my p's) i was in such a rush to get a girlfriend, it made me cry at some stage (yes andy, i have cried >.> pre-sure i told you that once actually) but yeah, i just wanted so hard to have a decent girlfriend.. not have one that wanted to use me.. (i know that's selfish.. but y'know.. i was young.. it's hard not to be when you're young)

-after a short while of the above depression, i managed to finally work my way out of it (can't remember how.. pretty sure just lots of gaming and casual chats with friends) and i just gave up looking. just pretty much said 'it won't happen.. if it does, it does, if it doesn't.. i'm not fussed'
Eventually, got a girl who i knew liked me (and wasn't overly forward about it ) and i wasn't sure how things would go, and she was different to all my ex's, and so i figured, she's different to what i normally go for, which doesn't seem to be working, why not. she's nice. and what do you know, it worked out. still with her today.

-as for dominating women, trust me, that's not that hard to find.. just gotta know where to look.

-i would agree with what most people above have said.. if they don't like just one or maybe two, i wouldn't be fussed, but if they were pretty major ones (say your macrophilia and your masochism) i would deffinitely stray away. same with if they hated all my fetishes.

Hope that helps bro
And, i wish you luck in your crusade to find that one woman who accepts you for who you are, and enjoys you.
If that happens, and you end up getting married.. by god, i will do something crazy. no idea what.. give me time, i'll figure it out.

personally, it's been about 2 years since MY last relationship, sometimes I get pretty depressed over it but, I just can't seem to find any girls in my area that do it for me. Maybe I'm just a romantic but right now I think I'd rather hold out for something real.
I can't really speak to the prevalence of sexually dominant women, lack of experience mostly.
About the sex kinks thing, I think it wouldn't make that big of a difference as long as what they liked was at least similar. But I also don't think its "selfish" to want someone who agrees with you on a basic level like that.

My advise: work up a storm, save a considerable amount of money over 3 or so months, go to a bar that targets the demographic you're going after at that particular moment of time, buy people drinks and use on small talk and your individual charm (everyone's got a style that works for them) and keep at it until you meet someone who fits what you're looking for. Remember that alcohol lowers cognitive functions asks inhibitions so watch your personal consumption. Just like every other problem in life this one can be solved at the bar.

You have the right to pursue what you want. Yes, it's selfish, but if you want to be happy, you need to learn it's okay to be selfish when it comes to your own ideal future. When people give themselves a time limit, or start giving up on finding someone that has the certain traits that matter to you, you end up settling for the wrong person. Just live your life, work on your goals, and one day the right person will show up in your life. Keep your heart open, but don't ignore your instincts.

...where's the part that makes me want to hate you again?

iunno, just thought it was selfish, and you might not be happy about it :/

I don't see what was so selfish about it. :/

all good then :D

God, I just want to hug you guys.
It's okay to be who you are, and want what you want.
Simply because you haven't found it yet, doesn't mean you won't.
It just means it'll be that much sweeter when you do.

That is quite true.. people find self concious people annoying.. by which i mean the fact they constantly complain about how they look, and when told that they are beautiful or what not, they deny it and yell at you for lying or something (in extreme cases) y'know.. that was one experience i wasn't too fond of back in the day..