Am I not good enough?

"Am I so bad that you have to rely on the use of a toy?"

The sex toy thread over in Random got me thinking deeply about this.

I don't think I'll ever see myself buying a toy. I don't know, it...just seems wrong to me for some reason. I mean, I guess I'm looking at this from a completely foolish and idiotic point of view, where I think if a girl I was dating was using sex toys, that means that I, as a man, have completely and utterly failed to please my woman correctly, thus destroying all self-confidence in myself, the same would apply vice versa. Now, I know that there are just some things that a man cannot do when it comes to making a girl arch her back in sheer ecstasy, but, I mean, my username says it all. I hold too much pride in myself that if I were to even hear my girlfriend was using toys, that alone would destroy the relationship to the point where neither of us would be able to mend it.

I'm not the only guy on here that thinks this way, right?

girls like toys for just pleasure.

but i think women like sex with their partner not just because of pleasure but also because of their is a deeper emotional level that can't be felt with using a toy.

I agree with you. There's more to a relationship then sexual pleasure. Some women will never grasp this concept, how naive.

It's like why I only watch Hentai and not real porn.
Here come the women to try and justify themselves.

Think of it like supplementing, not replacing! You can't be there for someone every moment of every day, unless well you're an amazing sex machine.

In all honesty, you're given only one set of genitals, and love someone as you may, you might not be able to give them every single kind of version of pleasure imaginable. Male or female or in between, no one is perfect.

And sometimes it's just nice to feel good by yourself, too. It can even inspire you on how to show your partner what you like once you find out through use. :o

Sex toys are for fun yeah. They aren't for replacing anything. I wouldn't think differently about a guy if he got toys and I bet he wouldn't for me either. We'd have the same amount of sex.

To me, saying that sounds very similar to "you look porn because I'm not pretty enoguh."

So nah. I wouldn't think anything of it if I found out about my partner's sex toys. On the other hand, it might be polite to let him/her know about it, so it won't come as a surprise.

Toys < Sex/Foreplay

Just like
Fap < Sex/Foreplay

She might use toys when you are busy at work or something
That is completely natural you know.

I agree with Badguy and Long. Part of the reason woman like sex is because it forms a bound, it's one of the most inmate things you can do with a person. Toys are just for fun, you shouldn't feel as thogh you can't satisfy just because they use them. The pleasure you get from sex, and the pleasure you get from sex toys are different things.

Yeah, that's what it sounded like to me too.

But hey, sex toys aren't just for solo use--they can be fun in bed with a partner too. Whips, cuffs, clit vibes, prostate ticklers, etc. can be utilized during couples' sex to increase the pleasure of both partners.

The way I see things, is that toys only become a problem when they start to become a substitute rather than a supplementary item.

Something like her masturbating when you can't be there, or for a little bit of fun with them in the bedroom is fine.

But when she's using it everytime, and you can't seem to get much sex without the addition of toys is when it might be a little too much.

But if that's the case then you just need to tell her is all. I mean if you're already to that point in the relationship then you should be more than secure enough to discuss such things.

Your view is pretty intense. Toys can be a fun foreplay item for you and your partner to enjoy before actual sex. There are all sorts of fun things you can do (there are more toys than just dildos and vibrators you know) that can keep things fresh and fun in the bedroom. Straight vanilla sex can get kind of boring which is the sort of thing that leads to infidelity. Just try using toys once or twice to see if you like it. If vibrators/dildos aren't your thing, try some rope for bondage or some kind of roleplay. They make special rope that will tie tight enough to restrain somebody but isn't so rough that it will leave marks or rope burn. You might be surprised by how fun it can be.

Here's how I see it.

If my girlfriend uses toys, I will think of it as me fapping to Porn. She has her ways to get herself off without me, and I have mine when I'm without her.

A girl might think the same thing you think in that situation.

For you it might be "She bought such-and-such toy... Does that mean I'm doing something wrong? Am I not (man) enough?"

For her it's probably "He masturbates to so-and-so Pornstar... Does he want me to do what she does? Does he think I'm not pretty/beautiful/sexy enough?"

All in all, it's both and neither of those things.

You're thinking X thoughts, She's thinking Y, but if you don't talk to each other about it and come together on some middle ground (even if only to understand why one has toys or porn) then that's what really breaks a relationship.

(Lol, Relationships 101: Talk.)

No, you are not good enough. you have failed as a man. your only choices are become a monk, or suicide.

there are women who have never had an orgasm, even through masterbation. the female orgasm is very different than the males'. would you rather she was faking orgasms? sometimes ignorance is bliss. if you want her to give up her toy, you must give up all porn. you looking at porn suggests that she is not good enough.

get over your insecurities, kneel prostrate yourself before her, and thank her for allowing you to even speak to her. then go learn about the female orgasm, and how you can better please her.

Hell, sometimes you just want to do things alone. It's like if you were to have a quiet drink alone. That doesn't make you depressing. It just means that you're enjoying the peace and comfort of some alone time.

That's why you're on a hentai site. That's why the internet exists.

I mean, would you rather your partner was waiting for you every day the moment you got home, suffering, because they didn't know how much longer they were going to last without you to give them release?

A friend of mine told me that they wouldn't buy a toy, because they have for a girl before...and they'd play with it more then him, lol
I can see it being a good thing.
I mean...when the girl gets lonely, she can play (although I suppose it is fun to "wait till you come home to get randy")...but also you can use it while playing together.

i don't use toys, and don't see myself ever doing so. (despite the protests of my fellow female fakku companions)
:I

so, euhm, yeah. my partner doesn't/will not have to worry about that. i guess.

I wouldn't worry about it too much.

In fact, I see it as an opportunity to get to know your partner better.
If you are worried about not being adequate enough, get her to teach you how to use those toys on her. Unless she is overly shy, she will probably be happy to.
And you may just learn something about her that you didn't know before.

Hell, some of the best sex I have ever experienced has come from taking my partner down to the closest sex shop, and buying a new toy/costume for her. Anticipation + Something New = Good times!

^This