Am I wrong?

I don't usually post but here I am.

Recently, I had an argument with one of my superiors(old lady). She said I was rude to another staff.

It all started like this.

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I handed in an assignment. My colleague from the opposite asked me have I handed it in.

I said "Yes I have handed it in." He didn't hear it. He asked again. I answered

"Yes I have already handed it in."(monotone, louder than the previous but still not offensive).

He didn't hear it. He asked again, much louder and in an aggressive tone, obviously annoyed.

I said "YES, I have told you thrice already."

He replied "Why must you raise your voice? I don't deserve this kind of treatment from you."

I said: "Sorry, but I had repeated multiple times already. You didn't hear it."

Before I had to finish my sentence, my superior butted in and said: He is right. Why are you so rude and offensive?

I said: "In which part of my sentence is being rude?

She said: "but I had repeated multiple times already" Is really rude"

I was like Why?!?! Wtf? But I stopped myself and said sorry.

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Who was wrong? Does the sentence "but I had repeated multiple times already" really is rude? (I admit, I said the sentence in an irritated voice, but I did no showed any gestures, emotions or anything).

I am open to any sorts of comments. Also, does this deserve to be in serious discussions forums?

The sentence is not rude or offensive in itself, but your intonation and tone may have made it seem rude to the others.

I would suggest in this scenario, you should say something like
"I'm sorry, I did not intend it to be rude or offensive, I was simply explaining why I had raised my voice, which was because he had not heard me when I answered the first few times."

And try to say it in a sincere and calm way.

If they persist that it was rude after that, then they are wrong, and you would have every right to complain to their superior about their conduct.

I think random is appropriate for this topic, if not the mods will move it.

You could've handeled the situation better.

I think you should've said something along the lines of, "(insert name of person here) I don't want to shout that I have already handed you the paper's. Next time if you need me to raise my voice or speak more clearly, please let me know and I am sorry if there has been any confusion from my part."

Regardless if he is being a dick about this or not, you just have to be the bigger man and accept his request. As stated in my example, maybe you were not loud enough or stated your maybe your response wasn't stated clearly enough. Eye contact and a calm, but comanding voice helps out as well. Smiling works well too.

I would just let this issue go and if they are that upset about it in the future just say you will correct this issue in the and not let it happen again (already apologized so another one is not needed).

Some people are just assholes and people need to learn to put up with them. They were the rude ones and they had no right to call you rude for that, but some people.

Depends on if you mumbled it or the other guy just didn't care enough to listen the first or second time. I hate repeating myself. It annoys me. Especially when people butt in because they want to hear someone else's comments.

But in this case rising your voice is considered rude. I personally would of told them to fuck off or listen. Especially if it his question your answering he should listen the fuck up.

Your tone of voice could have come across as rude, but for the guy not to be listening to you in the first place is equally rude. And for your superior to side with the guy and call you out on it is a little unfair given how much of a non-issue it was.

This is just based off what little facts you've given us. For all we know the guy could've been partially deaf.

What Gravity cat said.

The superior was far to bias, assuming the nature of the conversation from one sentence, as well, taking sides to incite discontent. A judge should be impartial. If she found a real problem in your performance, she doesn't explain what it is, instead interrupts the conversation, declares you rude, quotes you, and calls it rude, all of which I find rude.

If you don't allow employees to fix their disputes on their own, then the one interfering needs to be impartial when dealing. All they do is create bitter unexpressed feelings of resentment towards themselves and others acting in that way.

I'd say, just try to let it go, even if you were at fault, neither one of them sound like they were a shinning example, but as gravity stated, too little information for us to really pick sides. Best you can do is try to learn from this experience...

Thanks for the suggestions, I really will try to improve. I never thought I would get so much positive response from a hentai site!

As for the guy whom argued with me, today he argued with another staff. I don't know the details but it sure got the attention of my employer. I don't really have any more to say about.

Btw, another question unrelated to the initial topic.

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My parents have divorced a year back. I am close with my mom but I hated my dad(maybe not hated for hate is a strong word but maybe disliked?). I haven't keep in touch with him for 11 months. Was I wrong to avoid contact? Should I forgive him?

Here's what happened and why my parents divorced.

My dad was actually kinda nice for the first few years of my childhood. He wasn't such a dick back then, even though he has always been strict. Then my brother came. He was diagnosed with autism and global development delay. I was 7 back then.

He changed. He started yelling at my mom and me. His decisions and choices he made affected my family. He then started drinking. I was 14 then. I confronted him, we had a big fight, he stopped drinking. We had a lot of disagreements on how to live. His style of living prioritizes money and career but family and comfort comes last. He also refused to pay for my schooling fees for I did not want to go to the school he wanted me to go to.He cared for my brothers welfare more than me. That I understand now but I wanted my share of love back then. I considered emancipation back then but I didn't do it for my mom still cared for me.

He might have caused a lot of hurt to me and my family but his decisions and mistakes taught me a lot. I now have a stable relationship, job, and healthy life. I am satisfied with life.

Now back to the question. Should I forgive and reconcile?

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This is really a question only you can answer.

It depends how much you care about family ties. If you think it's something that is important, then you should take that into consideration in favor of reconcile.

And as you've stated, you understand why he put your brother first, and that probably means you understand that he was probably under a lot of stress trying to support your family, especially given the circumstances. The drinking and anger was probably just an outlet for this. However, understanding and forgiveness are very different.

I would guess that the fact that he stopped drinking after your 'big fight' suggests he did care about you, and knows that it really was a problem. But making such inferences is a risky business, and it could easily be wrong.

I guess the only thing there I think is a real dick move is the whole not paying your school fees. Although perhaps he thought he was teaching you to be independent?

What really matters here is your own happiness. Does the happiness you would get from reconciling outweigh the risk of you two still not getting along? And would you be content knowing that you're separated from your dad?

If it was me, I would not reconcile, because I like to 'play it safe' as it were. But I am by no means a social guru, so you should definitely come up with your own answer to this.

I actually am considering reconciling with him but deep down I know I would not be happy with living with him (he has a very pessimistic, stubborn personality). But then I know that if I don't resolve my ties with him, the knot of emotions in my heart would never be untied. I will think through it. Thank you kind sir/lady?, Silence of the Yanderes for the advice.

I am Sir Silence of the Yanderes of the round table! :D
It is my pleasure to help you!

And in what sense do you mean 'living with him'?

If you mean sharing a house with him, you really don't have to do that...

And if you mean putting up with his attitude, let me tell you it's a lot easier to put up with someone when you're not under the same roof and seeing each other every day. I used to really dislike my brother, but know that we've both moved out, I actually rather enjoy seeing him. It may not be quite the same as in your circumstance, but I think it will help not seeing him everyday.

As in living with him, I mean more like seeing him often? Like everyday or so.

What you have shared really made me think. I guess I am okay with seeing him once per week? Btw, I will be meeting up with him tomorrow. Hope it goes well.

And, if all goes well, you kind sir have made my life a lot more pleasant. Thank you.

Perhaps your superior and those around you only heard your tone after you had already told him multiple times. They didn't get the benefit of hearing you answer him politely the first couple of times and thus took the raising of your voice out of context.

You are most welcome, and good luck!