Co-worker related pressure.
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[font=Verdana]Yet another one of mine rants.
Did you ever had the feeling of your work partner not trusting you because you're stupid or weird (in his/her point of view)? Even though you're on the same level, it's like he/she bosses you around, then he/she gets the favor of the rest of the crew?
It's happening to me right now.
Worst part of it? She's a girl. I do admit she's ahead of me in the physical aspect. She's closer to the rest of the crew cause, y'know, even though she did say that she does not use her being a femme on getting favors and such, she still uses it. She got mad at me for some reason, and when I asked her what's her problem, she said it's because I'm just being me. That's the last part I heard from her. Earlier.
As some of you may know, I'm currently working with a contract of about 6 months with this co-worker. It's quite impossible to cancel the contract, and I need the working time for license purposes.
So, that leaves me with the question: How do I deal with her?
I will appreciate any constructive criticisms and/or stories from you.
UPDATE -- 12:41 UTC+8 20 Mar
UPDATE -- 23:53 UTC+8 20 Mar
UPDATE -- 12:47 21 Mar
Ivan, my friend, if you're reading this, you know who I'm talking about.
[/font]
Did you ever had the feeling of your work partner not trusting you because you're stupid or weird (in his/her point of view)? Even though you're on the same level, it's like he/she bosses you around, then he/she gets the favor of the rest of the crew?
It's happening to me right now.
Worst part of it? She's a girl. I do admit she's ahead of me in the physical aspect. She's closer to the rest of the crew cause, y'know, even though she did say that she does not use her being a femme on getting favors and such, she still uses it. She got mad at me for some reason, and when I asked her what's her problem, she said it's because I'm just being me. That's the last part I heard from her. Earlier.
As some of you may know, I'm currently working with a contract of about 6 months with this co-worker. It's quite impossible to cancel the contract, and I need the working time for license purposes.
So, that leaves me with the question: How do I deal with her?
I will appreciate any constructive criticisms and/or stories from you.
UPDATE -- 12:41 UTC+8 20 Mar
UPDATE -- 23:53 UTC+8 20 Mar
UPDATE -- 12:47 21 Mar
Ivan, my friend, if you're reading this, you know who I'm talking about.
[/font]
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623
FAKKU QA
Girls are bitches to each other. At least from what I've observed. One of the part-time jobs I worked at for a year and a half literally all of my coworkers were women or teenage girls and all they did was talk and complain about each other behind their backs then be nice to their faces. One girl even got fired because of rumors that were spread.
As for advice, well, I'm not completely sure since I don't know all the details, but I guess just avoid her if you can or just don't play into the drama. I didn't at that job and, as far as I knew, no one talked about me (one of my coworkers was my sister's best friend so she would have told me).
Edit: Conversely, you could just straight up confront her about it. At that same job, a new girl really pissed me off because she kept being lazy and lied all the time about stuff so one day I just told her I didn't like her. Like as a person. So she went and whined to all the girls later (even though at the time no one liked her so they pretended to pity her). But, the weird thing was, eventually she started to work harder and be nice to me. Even going so far as to hit on me and grab my ass and stuff. It was just too bad she was 6 years younger than me and kind of meh in terms of looks.
As for advice, well, I'm not completely sure since I don't know all the details, but I guess just avoid her if you can or just don't play into the drama. I didn't at that job and, as far as I knew, no one talked about me (one of my coworkers was my sister's best friend so she would have told me).
Edit: Conversely, you could just straight up confront her about it. At that same job, a new girl really pissed me off because she kept being lazy and lied all the time about stuff so one day I just told her I didn't like her. Like as a person. So she went and whined to all the girls later (even though at the time no one liked her so they pretended to pity her). But, the weird thing was, eventually she started to work harder and be nice to me. Even going so far as to hit on me and grab my ass and stuff. It was just too bad she was 6 years younger than me and kind of meh in terms of looks.
1
Ask her to a coffee for a work-related chat.
If she declines, clarify it's not a date, you just want to try to clear some things up and work on your business relationship.
If she still declines, then ask if you can talk there and then. If she has accepted either, follow the proceeding conversational guidelines:
1. I feel personally attacked when you say "It's just you being you", whenever I ask you if something is wrong. I really want to know what precisely I'm doing or saying that is upsetting you.. I can't work on what I'm not aware of. Please help me understand so we can have a better, more productive and amiable work relationship.
2. I feel upset when you say those things to me, they feel derogatory and inflammatory, and rather than helpful criticism, it just feels mean. Please try to be more concise when advising me, so I know what to work on and do not feel personally attacked.
If she has not accepted and has refused to talk to you, consider speaking to your manager or HR rep.
If she declines, clarify it's not a date, you just want to try to clear some things up and work on your business relationship.
If she still declines, then ask if you can talk there and then. If she has accepted either, follow the proceeding conversational guidelines:
1. I feel personally attacked when you say "It's just you being you", whenever I ask you if something is wrong. I really want to know what precisely I'm doing or saying that is upsetting you.. I can't work on what I'm not aware of. Please help me understand so we can have a better, more productive and amiable work relationship.
2. I feel upset when you say those things to me, they feel derogatory and inflammatory, and rather than helpful criticism, it just feels mean. Please try to be more concise when advising me, so I know what to work on and do not feel personally attacked.
If she has not accepted and has refused to talk to you, consider speaking to your manager or HR rep.
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Maeve wrote...
Ignore the bitch and continue working.Shit like that happens in all workplaces.
I'll consider this as my last resort.
623 wrote...
Edit: Conversely, you could just straight up confront her about it.
I'll do it later.
Lollikittie wrote...
Ask her to a coffee for a work-related chat.If she declines, clarify it's not a date, you just want to try to clear some things up and work on your business relationship.
If she still declines, then ask if you can talk there and then. If she has accepted either, follow the proceeding conversational guidelines:
1. I feel personally attacked when you say "It's just you being you", whenever I ask you if something is wrong. I really want to know what precisely I'm doing or saying that is upsetting you.. I can't work on what I'm not aware of. Please help me understand so we can have a better, more productive and amiable work relationship.
2. I feel upset when you say those things to me, they feel derogatory and inflammatory, and rather than helpful criticism, it just feels mean. Please try to be more concise when advising me, so I know what to work on and do not feel personally attacked.
If she has not accepted and has refused to talk to you, consider speaking to your manager or HR rep.
[font=Verdana]
I just hope she's that professional. She's my classmate back at a navy-like academy for 5 years, and she assumes that she know me already. In my side, though, I'm a different person when I was still at uni compared to what I am now (though some traits remain unchanged).
Also, I'm not working at an office. I'm serving as an apprentice officer onboard a cargo ship.
She's still avoiding me as much as she can. Other crewmembers that she had worked with earlier said she was avoiding conversations when they were talking about me and the times I want to straighten things up.
So, yeah. I'll do your advice, kittie. After working and eating hours, which is 6 hours from now.[/font]
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Drifter995
Neko//Night
The main manager at my job thinks I'm alright. The next down thinks I'm lazy and worthless. The next few down vary from lazy as shit to absolutely amazing. How I work depends on how I'm treated. Something I heard a while ago (which does apply to me, funnily enough) Is, everyone I meet starts off with a nice amount of respect. For every time they are an asshole, they lose respect. Every time they are awesome, they gain respect. The more respect, the better I work for you. simple.
The one manager that thinks I'm amazing has my utmost respect, cause he is an awesome guy. He keeps telling the top manager that I'm awesome, and deserve more than what I get, which is awesome :D
Half the people at work think I'm useless, and when they try to take charge of the kitchen, and treat me like shit/ if they are doing a terrible job at running the kitchen, I take charge. I also tend to take the rap for people, if I like them... So, when I take charge, others get the credit. When I take the rap, I get in shit (as you'd expect). But, nobody seems to be thankful for me taking the rap. Pretty much stopped doing it now, and people still blame me, when it's not me. In which case, I pretty much blast them.
Basically, maccas fucking sucks.
As for your situation, you can either: Get buff, and be awesome. Work really hard to make her respect you (or suck up to her... either or). Be an ass to her, and probably get no where :/
From what I've learned, you don't get anywhere from working hard. You get places by sucking up to your superiors. Since I don't give two fucks, and don't respect the second in charge, who pretty much runs the joint (pretty much makes her favourites crew trainers and managers) I don't get shit. I just get shifts and money, which I'm fine with. I'll get a new job, and ditch the place faster than I'd drop the clutch leaving for the last time
The one manager that thinks I'm amazing has my utmost respect, cause he is an awesome guy. He keeps telling the top manager that I'm awesome, and deserve more than what I get, which is awesome :D
Half the people at work think I'm useless, and when they try to take charge of the kitchen, and treat me like shit/ if they are doing a terrible job at running the kitchen, I take charge. I also tend to take the rap for people, if I like them... So, when I take charge, others get the credit. When I take the rap, I get in shit (as you'd expect). But, nobody seems to be thankful for me taking the rap. Pretty much stopped doing it now, and people still blame me, when it's not me. In which case, I pretty much blast them.
Basically, maccas fucking sucks.
As for your situation, you can either: Get buff, and be awesome. Work really hard to make her respect you (or suck up to her... either or). Be an ass to her, and probably get no where :/
From what I've learned, you don't get anywhere from working hard. You get places by sucking up to your superiors. Since I don't give two fucks, and don't respect the second in charge, who pretty much runs the joint (pretty much makes her favourites crew trainers and managers) I don't get shit. I just get shifts and money, which I'm fine with. I'll get a new job, and ditch the place faster than I'd drop the clutch leaving for the last time
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Update 22:46 23:53 UTC+8 [font=Verdana]
I recorded our conversation earlier. I got a chance to talk to her.
[/font]
[font=Verdana]
I told one of my fellow crewmember (friend) about this.
In my point of view, her pride is too high. My friend also says so.[/font]
As for your situation, you can either: Get buff, and be awesome. Work really hard to make her respect you (or suck up to her... either or). Be an ass to her, and probably get no where :/
From what I've learned, you don't get anywhere from working hard. You get places by sucking up to your superiors. Since I don't give two fucks, and don't respect the second in charge, who pretty much runs the joint (pretty much makes her favourites crew trainers and managers) I don't get shit. I just get shifts and money, which I'm fine with. I'll get a new job, and ditch the place faster than I'd drop the clutch leaving for the last time
[font=Verdana]I'm not against your ideas, but then:
Get buff - Seems impossible. She's taken.
Work really hard - she might think that I'm a showoff. Or she might abuse me and let me do her work.
Suck up - already abused.
It's not that easy to leave this job. I have a working contract and another company binding contract since they sponsored my education.[/font]
I recorded our conversation earlier. I got a chance to talk to her.
[/font]
Spoiler:
I told one of my fellow crewmember (friend) about this.
In my point of view, her pride is too high. My friend also says so.[/font]
Drifter995 wrote...
As for your situation, you can either: Get buff, and be awesome. Work really hard to make her respect you (or suck up to her... either or). Be an ass to her, and probably get no where :/
From what I've learned, you don't get anywhere from working hard. You get places by sucking up to your superiors. Since I don't give two fucks, and don't respect the second in charge, who pretty much runs the joint (pretty much makes her favourites crew trainers and managers) I don't get shit. I just get shifts and money, which I'm fine with. I'll get a new job, and ditch the place faster than I'd drop the clutch leaving for the last time
[font=Verdana]I'm not against your ideas, but then:
Get buff - Seems impossible. She's taken.
Work really hard - she might think that I'm a showoff. Or she might abuse me and let me do her work.
Suck up - already abused.
It's not that easy to leave this job. I have a working contract and another company binding contract since they sponsored my education.[/font]
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Update 12:47 21 Mar
[font=Verdana]With that being said, he then asked me if he will give us the job that both of us can work on. I decided to do it by myself (since it can be done by one person) and give her some space.[/font]
Spoiler:
[font=Verdana]With that being said, he then asked me if he will give us the job that both of us can work on. I decided to do it by myself (since it can be done by one person) and give her some space.[/font]
