confessed my feelings in the most awkward way
0
So, first off I have been out of a relationship for about 2 years. since that time I made this friend who has become probably my best friend for the last year. She then spent 6 months studying abroad and recently came back. She is now more or less single. She broke up with this her ex while studying abroad but I think is sort of at a point where she does not want to be in a serious relationship or something. And being the idiot I am I told her I like her.
We were hanging out drinking and it was not safe for her to drive back to her home so she slept over at my place. Usually I sleep on the floor and let her take the bed but she said it was ok to share the bed. Nothing happened. I stayed on my side (because I was too nervous to try anything). After sharing a bed with a girl and not doing anything, I realized my bed is huge. it felt like there was a mile between us.
Anyways the next morning we woke up and talked for like an hour about all sorts of things. She's someone that I can actually stand to be around and has interesting things to say. Most people I can't stand to be around for more than a minute but when I am around her I feel really outgoing. And after a long time of trying to decide if I should or not, I manned up and told her flat out that I like her. She said something on the lines of "that's nice." There was a moment of silence like something just died (my ego) then we just went back to talking like nothing happened. I later tried to suffocate myself with my pillow because of all the embarrassment I was feeling.
So yeah, I thought I totally screwed something up and gauged the whole situation absolutely wrong, but then she calls me later that afternoon and says that she wants to help me exhibit at the upcoming comic convention (forgot to mention I'm an amateur comic creator/deadbeat). It's just going to be me and her on a road trip and hanging out.
So I want to know what the random opinions and advice of internet forum users. should I try to put on the moves during the trip or go back to being passive and ignorant?
We were hanging out drinking and it was not safe for her to drive back to her home so she slept over at my place. Usually I sleep on the floor and let her take the bed but she said it was ok to share the bed. Nothing happened. I stayed on my side (because I was too nervous to try anything). After sharing a bed with a girl and not doing anything, I realized my bed is huge. it felt like there was a mile between us.
Anyways the next morning we woke up and talked for like an hour about all sorts of things. She's someone that I can actually stand to be around and has interesting things to say. Most people I can't stand to be around for more than a minute but when I am around her I feel really outgoing. And after a long time of trying to decide if I should or not, I manned up and told her flat out that I like her. She said something on the lines of "that's nice." There was a moment of silence like something just died (my ego) then we just went back to talking like nothing happened. I later tried to suffocate myself with my pillow because of all the embarrassment I was feeling.
So yeah, I thought I totally screwed something up and gauged the whole situation absolutely wrong, but then she calls me later that afternoon and says that she wants to help me exhibit at the upcoming comic convention (forgot to mention I'm an amateur comic creator/deadbeat). It's just going to be me and her on a road trip and hanging out.
So I want to know what the random opinions and advice of internet forum users. should I try to put on the moves during the trip or go back to being passive and ignorant?
1
If she said something like 'that's nice', that's pretty much the nice girl's way of saying 'you're alone in that, bro.'
I'd suggest, when you see her next, ask for a flat out answer and whether or not she could ever see herself with you, if the answer is no then you say 'Well, I hope we can still be great friends, I don't want things to be weird.', if the answer is yes, find out where to go from there - when in doubt, take it slow.
I'd suggest, when you see her next, ask for a flat out answer and whether or not she could ever see herself with you, if the answer is no then you say 'Well, I hope we can still be great friends, I don't want things to be weird.', if the answer is yes, find out where to go from there - when in doubt, take it slow.
0
Lollikittie wrote...
If she said something like 'that's nice', that's pretty much the nice girl's way of saying 'you're alone in that, bro.'I'd suggest, when you see her next, ask for a flat out answer and whether or not she could ever see herself with you, if the answer is no then you say 'Well, I hope we can still be great friends, I don't want things to be weird.', if the answer is yes, find out where to go from there - when in doubt, take it slow.
+1 on that. Nothing good comes out from a non-STRAIGHT Anwser after confessing. Feels one sided and half hearted. I really felt that heart ache sank in after your story. I mean only responses "that's nice"? But I would like to know if you ask her to be your girlfriend after you said you like her?
It is nice that you consider her feelings even after that. That is alot of heart.
0
Personally I think you might still have your chances. So, like said before, ask for a straight answer, and if it's a no, don't let it break your friendship, especially if you're on a road trip.
Why I think you have your chances? Basically, you just blurted it out in the middle of a conversation the morning of a drinking night. Not the best time, you'll agree. But since her reaction wasn't "are you crazy?!", that means she likes you, at least as a friend. She might have been startled, and didn't know how to respond, so she just kind of gulped down the pill. In short, she needed time to sort her own feelings.
That's my take on it, just don't go at her like a beast.
Why I think you have your chances? Basically, you just blurted it out in the middle of a conversation the morning of a drinking night. Not the best time, you'll agree. But since her reaction wasn't "are you crazy?!", that means she likes you, at least as a friend. She might have been startled, and didn't know how to respond, so she just kind of gulped down the pill. In short, she needed time to sort her own feelings.
That's my take on it, just don't go at her like a beast.
0
Thanks for the opinions. It's just tough. everybody always tells me to be more confident (which contradicts the other advice of being myself) but even when I do that sort of thing it does not work either. On that note, what is so great about confidence? Why do girls like it so much? I may not be a confident person, but I can actually do useful and great things and I don't brag about it. Most confident people I met that get the girls are idiots that try to jump of the roof into pools and they still screw that up. Just because someone is confident does not mean it is capable.
Well I guess at least what I said is out there instead of not saying anything and having any sort of chance slip by. Who knows though, it may be like what sighing said that she is still unsure. I'm sure we will be able to talk about it during the long drive to the convention (where she won't be able to escape! Just kidding).
Well I guess at least what I said is out there instead of not saying anything and having any sort of chance slip by. Who knows though, it may be like what sighing said that she is still unsure. I'm sure we will be able to talk about it during the long drive to the convention (where she won't be able to escape! Just kidding).
0
super scrub wrote...
Thanks for the opinions. It's just tough. everybody always tells me to be more confident (which contradicts the other advice of being myself) but even when I do that sort of thing it does not work either. On that note, what is so great about confidence? Why do girls like it so much? I may not be a confident person, but I can actually do useful and great things and I don't brag about it. Most confident people I met that get the girls are idiots that try to jump of the roof into pools and they still screw that up. Just because someone is confident does not mean it is capable.Well I guess at least what I said is out there instead of not saying anything and having any sort of chance slip by. Who knows though, it may be like what sighing said that she is still unsure. I'm sure we will be able to talk about it during the long drive to the convention (where she won't be able to escape! Just kidding).
Did you seriously just ask 'What's so great about confidence?' Um... very literally everything. You have to love and respect yourself to feel confident. It's about knowing what you bring to the table, knowing what you can give to another person, knowing your strengths and your weaknesses and creating a whole, strong person with the two combined. Confidence is everything, because it means you have a defined, strong idea of who you are, and you are more likely to succeed in what you try at, because a lack of confidence is what drives you to give up and give in.
Confidence is not the same as arrogance. Confidence is a self-assured person. Arrogance is someone who has a fragile ego, that requires them to overstate their capabilities just to feel worthy.
You absolutely need confidence. It is necessary for someone to feel like you won't need them to complete you, that they can be with you without feeling depended upon. It's one of the main ingredients in having a successful relationship. It's the reason why one of the basic rules of a successful marriage is to have had a period of independence in your life to get a defined idea of who you are, on your own.
So, yeah, Confidence is fucking great.
0
Like what the others have suggested, I agree on asking for an answer and if it works out then great. If she's not ready for a serious relationship or something like that after splitting with her ex, then there's not much you can do except stay as friends. Depending on how she feels about being in a relationship and what she says, you might not necessarily have no chance if she says no. I wish you luck on that matter and I hope things go well.