Getting over your Ex

So, while I don't want to go into huge amounts of detail. For the last about a month or so, I had my first girlfriend. I was really happy during that time even though midterms interrupted our talking during the last two weeks. And I really did try to do everything I could in a relationship to make it work since I am a bit of a romantic, if a bit perverted(lolfakku/internets). At the time I wanted to make the relationship last. But recently we broke up over a misunderstanding.

Considering that she was the first girl who "liked" me for who I was, I'm handling pretty well compared to any other time a girl has rejected me/let me down. Maybe I'm more mature than I was a long time ago and if it didn't work out a month later with such a reason for breaking up I can't really be too upset or sad about it when that speaks volumes about what the relationship would've meant in the future. Or maybe it is because I have such good friends now compared to the last time I liked a girl where I was mostly alone.

Simply put, you go through things, it doesn't turn out well, you cry a bit (I don't claim to be a super macho man), and you move on I guess.

So I suppose my question is, how does everybody deal with "getting over it"? Any suggestions? And based on what is below, am I over it?

I'm not really sure what makes up "over it" since I am not so sure whether or not I, myself, am over it. On one hand I think I am and I'm just looking to the future. And it is highly unlikely, but maybe I'll meet somebody sometime (not popular with women lol). I'm strangely in somewhat good spirits and I don't understand why.

And on the other I do have a few regrets on how it turned out since we just started getting to know each other but am not upset or sad since the relationship clearly wouldn't have worked out since we didn't talk at all during midterms in addition to everything. As well as thinking about her occasionally.

And...Let the Judgement begin!

First, be glad it was short term. The longer you are with someone, the harder it is to get over. Just keep your mind occupied and more importantly, be happy with yourself even if single. For those that say time heals all wounds, I would call bs on that. Just don't become obsessed in thought, keep active socially and academically. oh, the good spirits is probably just relief...trust me... Blah blah blah....plenty of fish in the sea etc...Cheers.

I'd have thought breaking off contact would help, along with everythig that Neogenetic said.

I have a rule of thumb that it takes double the time you spent with the person to get over them. For example, if you only dated for a month then it'll take two months to fully get over that person. Anyway, this is just a loose idea. It seems like you're already doing a pretty good job of moving on, and if you feel relieved then that's even better. I do think it is a tell-tale sign that you two didn't bother to initiate any contact whatsoever during your exam period. Even if you're busy, usually a person who is truly interested in you will take a minute or two out of their day to shoot a simple 'I've been thinking of you!' text your way. Anyway, I'd just limit/cut contact with the person, and just start to think positively about what you want in the future. This might be a good opportunity to think about what kind of person you'd like to date next time - what qualities this girl had that you didn't care so much for, and what character traits you feel are important to have in a significant other. Good luck :)

I've never experienced a breakup as many other people have. However, I have been with many of my friends helping them in getting over one.

There are many factors that can determine the time to "get over it"
- how deep was he/she in your heart.
- How close you were to one another.
- Your family and friends as support.
- Your activities.

I never had a breakup but I helped some friends in breaking up with their bf/gf as well as getting over it. What helps the most is having someone to talk to (family or friend) from time to time, specially when the pain "just comes". The more people the better. Another is to either store or remove the stuff that remind you of the relationship and even reorganizing your room can help clear your mind.

Time is the best help. Do not consider any relationship or dating, but hanging out in groups of friends is perfectly fine. And another is to look out for habits that may develop after a breakup (eating, drinking, chewing, etc) that we involuntarily develop to help cope with it

I know this is a four day late reply but. Thanks all for the tips, I've been just trying to keep busy with more school and studying. (Japanese programs make so many tests!) As well as just hobbies, games like AC3 or Minecraft (you can spend infinite amounts of time on minecraft if it is multiplayer lol). Maybe league of legends when I'm in a good mood (don't play in a bad mood, sucks)

As for right now I feel pretty ok, I hope it is because of maturity. It is what it is and maybe next time a girl is interested in me I can do better :P Not gonna lie though, I'm not the type of guy who is popular. Meh, some things don't change even 4+ years after the end of high school.

Specific replies go!:
Neo: Fish in the sea? Ooh is is Tuna? Gimme! Nah, I feel like lines such as other fish in the sea are a bit overused but I guess they ring true.

Dia: I'd say two weeks is enough time. Considering all. And I will think about it, although it is kinda difficult to think about what are good qualities when sometimes it can be so specific that there isn't anybody out there like that. I guess I could come up with a few points I like lol.

walker: I have to agree, I have a lot more friends now so I feel like their support helped a lot. I should go hang out with friends more but we are all geeks/nerds and so busy with either games or studying.

Thanks all.

Just keep doing what you're doing.
It seems like you're going through the process already.

Date her sister.

There's no guarantee she has a sister.

Better, foolproof plan: date her mother.

Grandmother?

Only if he's into really mature women or necrophilia.

He should try for a threesome with the mother and grandmother.

There be dragons.

Artcellrox, Takerial, and Maeve - you know you're in LRR and not Incoherent Babbling, right? If you don't have anything intelligent to contribute to the topic, go somewhere else. The people who come here deserve serious replies.

My reply was entirely serious.

I understand the need for serious replies in this part of the forum but really no harm done lol. I actually got a good laugh out of the comments.

Although if you were to take it seriously it is an impossibility.

Rather than think about how much you miss them, focus on the other persons negative points. it's harder to miss someone you don't even like anymore.


sit and drink with a friend and talk shit about your ex. that's what my friends and i do. a true friend will tell you how much your ex sucks.

Dang that sucks if it's true for me lol. I was in an extremely long-term relationship.

I think what helps is to hang out with good people. Hanging out and talking with my friends and staying at their houses has helped immensely. Everyone is so supportive, I can't tell you how much I appreciate their kindness.