Grieving . . . ?

So mum made the decision to put down our dog [whos been or family pet since i was seven, the dog was turning 13 today] yesterday as he was having trouble breathing and his lungs were constricting and fluid was starting to asphyxiate him from within. It was better to put him to sleep rather than watch him suffer and drown while struggling to breathe. I cried when I was holding his paw when they over-dosed him on anesthesia, but I didn't cry again until I went to bed that night. I cried myself to sleep, and woke up crying. Im making a little shrine [no racism or pun intended] of photos and candles and some of his toys in dedication to his life as our family pet. I want to keep a candle lit for a week or so or until I feel that I have prayed enough. I keep a photo of every passed-away pet in a keepsake photo holder on display for memories of the good times, and say a prayer every time I look at the photos. I am very lucky I haven't lost a family member yet or I would be a total mess. My partner probably wouldn't know how to handle or console me if that happened. I think he struggles enough to see me cry at fickle things let alone have a sufficient reason like the family pet dying. But he's trying none the less.

What I really would like to know is how long do you grieve for a loved one [human or pet], and what kind of grieving do you do [ritual or your own dedication]? And any good suggestions are welcome.

Noooo...R.I.P. doggy... ;_;

*hugs*

He's in a better place now, Mags. Rest assured. ^w^)b

OT: Dear god, this is a complicated topic. The closest person to have died that can be considered close to me was my paternal grandfather, but even then, I was less than 2 or 3 years old back then. Had no idea what life even meant, let alone death.

Honestly, I've had a loved one die recently (he was actually just our family cook/servant, but he was with us for more than 40 years, since when my DAD was a kid). Nothing much we could have done at the moment, really, as we were vacationing in Sydney, with the Opera House just a half-hour away (yeah, that kinda ruined our trip a little -_-). My parents cried their eyes out for quite some time, and I...stopped listening to my MP3 and just hummed Breaking Benjamin's So Cold over and over in my head for a few hours. Weird? Yes, I know. I've been called that multiple times.

But basically, music has always been my escape from these harsh realities of life, and if this were to happen again, I'd probably do the same: drown myself. Of course, I've grown more since then, and I'd definitely try my best to make something to remember them by.

If you'd like a suggestion, try this song. Man, could I have used this back then.

I'm so sorry to hear this. Sometimes getting out all your feelings even in a somewhat destructive way is best. R.I.P. Puppy! I'm sure he lived a fulfilling and happy life especially with an owner as caring as yourself.

I personally let it fester and rot on the inside and I regret I didn't just explode when I lost someone I loved.

Rest in Peace, dear puppy.
I love puppy so much that hearing one died is just.....

What I usually do when I grieve is drink!! That happened when my precious girlfriend died back then, drink up till I puke.
A wrong way to express my grieve, but I can't think of anything that relieves the pain, even only a little..

I usually spend the day at home, reminiscing about the good memories we had over the years.

My puppy died many years ago, and I still feel that hole in my little and lonely heart; I mean, he was my friend and no other dog or person would fill that emptiness...

I know how you feel, but life goes on and you should always remember the good times and all the happiness your friend brought to you all these years. I still keep my dog collar and his rubber ball =,(

Grieving should be taken at your own pace, but a healthy amount of time to grieve I would say would be about a week or two. Even if you do grieve and properly give your pet a proper burial and goodbye, there'll always be that emptiness.

Remember to remember the good times and if you feel like crying, do it. Crying helps let it all out.

Never forget.

Perhaps you'll feel better~

I'm sorry for your loss.

I actually just had to put my kitty, Isabelle, to sleep just before Christmas. We had her for 10 years and she was my cat. She has suddenly gotten sick and nothing we were doing was helping.
I was very sad for a few days following.
And even know, every so often, I think of her and get depressed and really miss her. It will also be a while till I get myself a new kitten to replace her, because right now...that isn't possible and it never will be. But it's still too difficult to bring another one into my life right now.

awwww :,( im sorry.

this reminds me of my last dog Buddy R.I.P
I loved him so much, i still have a picture of him, i kiss it every die when i wake up.

im glade you were there to see your dog off, i wish i was there to see my dog off but i was at school when my parents went to put him down. :,(

There are 7 stages of Grief. Assuming you are trying to work through your emotions and not repress them, the stages are as follows:

1. Shock, and Denial
2. Pain, and Guilt. - Once the reality has set in, it's going to hurt. A lot.
3. Anger, and Bargaining - At this stage, you begin to rationalize your loss. You ask questions like "Why me?", or try to blame someone.. or something.. for your loss.
4. Depression, Reflection - At this stage, your friends or loved ones may try to convince you to snap out of it, or 'cheer up'. Try not to give into that, it's normal and healthy to fully experience your grief before you are truly able to heal.

Stages 5 and 6 are the Reconstruction stages. As you accept the passing of your dearly departed, you begin to learn how to live without them in your life.

7. Acceptance, Hope - You have accepted that their life has ended, and you have realized what your life is now without them there. This doesn't mean you are suddenly happy again, but it means that you can move on, and get there.

I .. am intimately familiar with loss. I cannot give you advice. I can only say that you should never bottle what you feel. It's going to be raw, and it's going to hurt for a time. But you absolutely cannot hide from what you feel. Repression is what turns grief into a mental illness.

Lollikitty: To update you I am currently at stage four. I'm still really disbelieving though as I don't live at home with parents going on a year now, I haven't walked around the house with out my dog so it really doesn't feel real at all. But I've done nothin but think about him running around, barking, licking me to death, drooling all over my knees when begs for food. In sorta experiencing up all of the first four stages. I'm a bit of a mess. I just don't really have the motivation to do anything but it's not like I can call in sick to work just because my dog died, they'd only allow it if it was a human.

To everyone: thank you do much for your support. It's great to know that I have this community of wonderful people to talk to and share things with. I can't believe how much it really does help to know people are there.

It's a rough time for some of my friends and myself. Myself obviously because of my dog. One of my friends friends just died. Another friend just had a "friend" stab her in the back [as in they had a verbal fight, not literal]. And one of my friends was having a rough time with harassment and being screwed around at work.

I'm still not done crying, but I'm sure my partner is glad I won't be such a blubbering mess for too long... Hopefully anyway.

R.I.P. to all our lovely pets and friends, and family. They all play a part in our lives, big or little, happiness comes in all shapes and sizes and forms. We miss them, but we wont forget them, and their all watching over us from "heaven" [or wherever we want them to be happy]. <3 we'll meet with them again one day when our time comes.

I've decided I'm going to start going for walks around the block my flat is on. I always loved to take my dog for walks. It's my way of remembering the good times, honoring his life, my time to be with him in spirit. And I guess it time for me to exercise too.

:( I am so sorry about the loss of your dog... If anything, at least you had given him a nice, loving home. I'm sure he was grateful for that. I can't say exactly how long the grieving will last, as it varies from person to person, and I can't really say how long it personally takes me to overcome grief, as I hadn't really ever experienced the loss of a loved one or a dear pet. I can't imagine how painful that would be, though.

By that, I hope you mean he's glad that you'll soon feel better, and not that he's glad because he doesn't have to deal with it.

Partial joke aside, I'm gonna PM him just in case, but the fact that he hasn't been posting recently must mean he's taking time off to do something for you, or at least be there.