Help with relationship
0
Ok so about 4-5 months ago i went out with a girl at my job, same age as me 20, she had just gotten outta of a serious relationship with a guy for 2 years 4 months before she met me.
When i was going out with her she always said that he was awful because he cheated on her twice and that she would never get back with him. a month into our relationship she begins to have doubts with me and her, so she ends it and i am of course deeply sadend but she says that it has to do with her.
A month after she breaks up with me she gets back with the first guy i mentioned because he was the only one that understood her problems, she was going through some rough emotional problems(molestation when she was about 16-17 by a cousin) that ,im guessing, he was helping her with.
Recently me and her have been talking alot lately and she confessed to me that she still has feelings for me and regrets breaking up with me and wishes she wouldnt have because she sees that i still care for her and want to be with her. but she is still going out with that one guy and she cant decide what to do and tells me that she is confused.
What should i do? i obviously still have feelings for her and admitingly told her but how do i handle it? what should i tell her?
When i was going out with her she always said that he was awful because he cheated on her twice and that she would never get back with him. a month into our relationship she begins to have doubts with me and her, so she ends it and i am of course deeply sadend but she says that it has to do with her.
A month after she breaks up with me she gets back with the first guy i mentioned because he was the only one that understood her problems, she was going through some rough emotional problems(molestation when she was about 16-17 by a cousin) that ,im guessing, he was helping her with.
Recently me and her have been talking alot lately and she confessed to me that she still has feelings for me and regrets breaking up with me and wishes she wouldnt have because she sees that i still care for her and want to be with her. but she is still going out with that one guy and she cant decide what to do and tells me that she is confused.
What should i do? i obviously still have feelings for her and admitingly told her but how do i handle it? what should i tell her?
0
First off please edit what you wrote and use 'enter' there being spaces make it so your eyes dont hurt and people are more likely to read it.
Like this
So when did you find out she was being molested? How connected do you feel you are with this girl? Do you really like her? Is it just a passing faze?
What you should say you need to think about it, it will help you and give yourself sometime to think and find out what is actually important to you.
It would also give posters times to give you actually reasonable answers.
Like this
So when did you find out she was being molested? How connected do you feel you are with this girl? Do you really like her? Is it just a passing faze?
What you should say you need to think about it, it will help you and give yourself sometime to think and find out what is actually important to you.
It would also give posters times to give you actually reasonable answers.
0
I feel really connected, i think about her all the time.
she makes me happy.
and ive actually gone out with another girl but i didnt have any of the feelings like i did for the first girl.
she makes me happy.
and ive actually gone out with another girl but i didnt have any of the feelings like i did for the first girl.
0
For your own sake, get out of this mess. I dont know how hot this woman is or what you see in her but... Be free from her and look for someone else.
But well, if you raelly jsut like it, then jsut go along with the ride. Just expect the possibility of her being involved with this other guy - known to you or not. From your story, this is gonna be going on for a while...
But well, if you raelly jsut like it, then jsut go along with the ride. Just expect the possibility of her being involved with this other guy - known to you or not. From your story, this is gonna be going on for a while...
0
ashcrimson wrote...
For your own sake, get out of this mess. I dont know how hot this woman is or what you see in her but... Be free from her and look for someone elseI agree, just get outta there while you can.
I personally wouldn't want to stick with someone who seems constantly indecisive on who they want to be with. That characteristic in a person could lead to problems in the future, even if he/she chose to stick with you for now.
Of course this doesn't always cause future problems for a couple because things get figured out, but it has on a large proportion of them.
0
Go date another girl without her knowing.
That way , if things get messy , go for the other girl.
It's not cheating , it's insurance :3.
That way , if things get messy , go for the other girl.
It's not cheating , it's insurance :3.
0
I would really suggest that you ask her to make up her mind....indecisive action tends to hurt everybody...
Or
Give her a final chance...if she cheats or back to the guy...better flush her out of your system...seriously...
Or
Give her a final chance...if she cheats or back to the guy...better flush her out of your system...seriously...
0
Love, Romance And Relationships
would be the right Forum.
Well everyone thinks you should end it, flaky indecisive chicks is a bad match... Are they more likely to cheat or something?
would be the right Forum.
Well everyone thinks you should end it, flaky indecisive chicks is a bad match... Are they more likely to cheat or something?
0
Well I dont fully know the whole situation, but it just sounds like she is treating you as a rebound...
If you really value a committed relationship then just let her know straight that she can only be with him or you. She shouldnt be hurting your feelings like this and leave you dangling on. Maybe she is seeking you to what her bf cant give but yet her bf gives her other things which she still clings to. What she is doing end up hurting you and her bf, she needs to not be so selfish.
If you really value a committed relationship then just let her know straight that she can only be with him or you. She shouldnt be hurting your feelings like this and leave you dangling on. Maybe she is seeking you to what her bf cant give but yet her bf gives her other things which she still clings to. What she is doing end up hurting you and her bf, she needs to not be so selfish.
0
Get the fuck away from her as far as you can, right now. Can of worms.
(THE ECONOMY imitates the sound of a train speeding head-on into a concrete wall)
A.I.D.A.!
Attention - Are you paying attention to the obvious signs of EMOTIONAL WRECKAGE AHEAD?
Interest - Are you interested in staying sane? I know you are, or you wouldn't have made this thread!
Decision - This girl is nothing but trouble, so the decision is obvious.
Action - Act and evacuate from this mess ASAP.
Recently me and her have been talking alot lately and she confessed to me that she still has feelings for me and regrets breaking up with me and wishes she wouldnt have because she sees that i still care for her and want to be with her. but she is still going out with that one guy and she cant decide what to do and tells me that she is confused.
(THE ECONOMY imitates the sound of a train speeding head-on into a concrete wall)
A.I.D.A.!
Attention - Are you paying attention to the obvious signs of EMOTIONAL WRECKAGE AHEAD?
Interest - Are you interested in staying sane? I know you are, or you wouldn't have made this thread!
Decision - This girl is nothing but trouble, so the decision is obvious.
Action - Act and evacuate from this mess ASAP.
0
THE ECONOMY wrote...
A.I.D.A.!Attention - Are you paying attention to the obvious signs of EMOTIONAL WRECKAGE AHEAD?
Interest - Are you interested in staying sane? I know you are, or you wouldn't have made this thread!
Decision - This girl is nothing but trouble, so the decision is obvious.
Action - Act and evacuate from this mess ASAP.
Seem like AIDA is your new motto :)
Besides that, I agree completely, even if it hurts, you should break it off with her. Trying to get with her will only lead to more problems and prolong the emotional pain for you both
0
davidpos51 wrote...
Ok so about 4-5 months ago i went out with a girl at my job, same age as me 20, she had just gotten outta of a serious relationship with a guy for 2 years 4 months before she met me. When i was going out with her she always said that he was awful because he cheated on her twice and that she would never get back with him. a month into our relationship she begins to have doubts with me and her, so she ends it and i am of course deeply sadend but she says that it has to do with her.
A month after she breaks up with me she gets back with the first guy i mentioned because he was the only one that understood her problems, she was going through some rough emotional problems(molestation when she was about 16-17 by a cousin) that ,im guessing, he was helping her with.
Recently me and her have been talking alot lately and she confessed to me that she still has feelings for me and regrets breaking up with me and wishes she wouldnt have because she sees that i still care for her and want to be with her. but she is still going out with that one guy and she cant decide what to do and tells me that she is confused.
What should i do? i obviously still have feelings for her and admitingly told her but how do i handle it? what should i tell her?
Don't take her back.
0
Renovartio wrote...
Jacob wrote...
Don't take her back.
The creator has spoken... listen to him...
It is the will of Fakku!
0
RedJest wrote...
Renovartio wrote...
Jacob wrote...
Don't take her back.
The creator has spoken... listen to him...
It is the will of Fakku!
^ It can be no other way, a decree has been handed down from the wielder of the Most Manly Beard
0
Yeah... this is kinda like my problem, except she never went out with me. <.<;;
She keeps going back to her ex because he's the only one who 'understands her', and by understand, I mean sits around and plays Xbox all day while she stares at him and texts other people. And he yells at her alot, mostly over stupid things, like asking if he can pay attention to her instead of Call of Duty, and he often tells her not to talk to him.
She breaks up with him every 2 months or so, but she's addicted to this thought that he's everything. Then they go good for a few days, then she always comes to me for advice about how to end the relationship. <.<;;
Seems kind of like what she's thinking. Don't get too into this, but don't back out either. She hasn't broken up with him more than 5 times yet, that's a sign.
She keeps going back to her ex because he's the only one who 'understands her', and by understand, I mean sits around and plays Xbox all day while she stares at him and texts other people. And he yells at her alot, mostly over stupid things, like asking if he can pay attention to her instead of Call of Duty, and he often tells her not to talk to him.
She breaks up with him every 2 months or so, but she's addicted to this thought that he's everything. Then they go good for a few days, then she always comes to me for advice about how to end the relationship. <.<;;
Seems kind of like what she's thinking. Don't get too into this, but don't back out either. She hasn't broken up with him more than 5 times yet, that's a sign.
0
But in all honesty.. You should really just stay away from it all. Everyone here agrees that you should find yourself another girl.
0
That kind of girl cannot forget her first love,Please put that in mind.
yeah you can date her but i bet in the near time she just back to her first love again
yeah you can date her but i bet in the near time she just back to her first love again
0
Brittany
Director of Production
Any girl who is just out of a relationship is a bad idea to get involved with. You end up either becoming a rebound or yo-yoing with her.
The problem with girls who are just out of relationships can be (if they're clingy) that they're still hooked.
Think of it like fishing. The guy that 'spent two years with' and 'understands her problems better' knows the right thing to say to lay out the bait for her to come back. All he has to say is that he loves her and promises he won't cheat again and she'll go crawling back.
In order for a healthy relationship to form, she has to be able to be independent enough where she can be stable and happy without a significant other. Otherwise you have a codependent person in your arms, and my philosophy is your role is a lover, not a psychologist.
It's fine if a person goes through issues, and your significant is there to be there with you, but if she can't cope by herself after being molested then she can't manage to have a healthy relationship, hence her running back to the cheating asshole.
For now, don't play yo-yo. Wait until the ex is out of the picture and she can cope being single. Which very well could take a long time or it could never even happen. There's plenty of people who grow up staying codependent.
The problem with girls who are just out of relationships can be (if they're clingy) that they're still hooked.
Think of it like fishing. The guy that 'spent two years with' and 'understands her problems better' knows the right thing to say to lay out the bait for her to come back. All he has to say is that he loves her and promises he won't cheat again and she'll go crawling back.
In order for a healthy relationship to form, she has to be able to be independent enough where she can be stable and happy without a significant other. Otherwise you have a codependent person in your arms, and my philosophy is your role is a lover, not a psychologist.
It's fine if a person goes through issues, and your significant is there to be there with you, but if she can't cope by herself after being molested then she can't manage to have a healthy relationship, hence her running back to the cheating asshole.
For now, don't play yo-yo. Wait until the ex is out of the picture and she can cope being single. Which very well could take a long time or it could never even happen. There's plenty of people who grow up staying codependent.