How to Kill Yourself for Dummies

Okay this is a nifty guide to how I, SJM (Mr Wafflesaurus) would kill myself.

For this experiment you will need,
1. A length of cheese wire, about five feet should fit all sizes.
2. A chair or stool depending on preference.
3. A tube of super glue.
4. An empty premises.

Okay now that we have all of our supplies this is what you want to do. First off, find something sturdy that is attached to the ceiling or roof of your designated test area. Once you have found one that can support your weight, you will need your chair or stool. Position it so that you can comfortably stand next to your support. Now you want to take your cheese wire and fashion a tight noose that won't come undone midway through your neck (that would be hell, haha). Once you have fashioned your noose you may want to do a strain test to make sure it can support you. Once you have a perfected noose, you wanna attach your noose to the support from earlier and be sure it will stay attached.

We are almost done.

Now you want too put your head through the noose. But wait! Don't jump off the chair just yet. When it comes to suicide, no one likes an eager beaver. This is where you will need the super glue. Squeeze some on both hands, enough to keep them attached to your head if it was cut off. Once you have dried them, move your right foot and kick the chair or stool out from under your feet. Gravity will do its job and you will have cut your head off while keeping your hands attached. At first glance this will make it appear that you have ripped off your own head to anyone who finds your limp, rotting corpse.

We here at Wafflesaurus inc. take no legal responsibility if someone misuses this guide to win a Darwin award. This was for learning purposes only. Have fun being dead, and credit us in your suicide note.

Just to make this know, I posted this as a complete joke. A simple funny way someone would off themselves. You can't say that if you saw this you wouldn't laugh at what the person did even though it is a tragic thing to do.

You should show Thugshit this. But make you include pictures, he has horrible grammar, literary skills, no scratch that, NO INTELLIGENCE WHATSEVER.

...I feel like this isn't even appropriate for any subforum on Fakku.

Within rules, sure.
Appropriate... no?

It's an interesting read, that's for sure. Putting aside the fact that it's gOLD.

Things like this should be taken with a grain of salt.

The sad part is that I completely agree about showing this to thugshit....he needs to learn how to do this so that he may further the species of humanity.

Quite the way to end things, I suppose.

I'll just leave this here.

That's it, I'm hanging myself and Wal-Mart's paying for it!

I'm fairly certain I have seen something similar before somewhere, but I can't be sure.


Either way, I'm one of those lucky people living on sixth floor above a road. All it takes is one little push and WWWWWWWHHHHHEEEEEEEEE-splat.

No money, no energy and no effort wasted. All for a price of a jump.

But then, I'd miss all my prime-time TV slots.

Leave it to /b/ to surprise me. This comment was actually pretty motivational: (click it for full size if you have trouble reading it)

you metioned the wire going through half way and how much that would suck, well thats why i suggest rite before glueing your hands down a full bottle of pills that way even if you fuck up youll only be in pain for a lil while before you od like two secs lol : )

You're on a porn site for adults.

Be careful Neo. Gizgal is a delicate youngster, and is easily offended by such horrifying and terrible topics as rape and suicide. Mentioning pornography in her presence might cause her severe mental trauma.

People suicide and porn are two different things(Usually...unless if your watching some strange hentai, but that's a different subject entirely). One can be comfortable with one and not the other

:|
I'm 21. I can handle it. In fact, I come here voluntarily.
But I still find the topic odd unfitting for really any section here. Is that wrong?

@Gizgal Yes. It is.

I'm not one to "dislike" any thread on Fakku just because it may not be morally praiseworthy, but at the very least this is nothing more than IB material, for sure.

Sad to see some of you trolling gizgal just for an opinion like that.

Good job trying to say someone's opinion is wrong, Cleveland. Pretty sure there is no such thing as a wrong opinion. Heaven forbid someone not want to play around with some IB troll material.

This seems like a very messy form. Think I'd prefer an educed coronary embolism. Much simpler too.

Better idea. Give him a 1 way ticket to LA and a cab fare to South Central. Then tell him to be Gangsta there...lets see how long he lasts against real gangsters...(and perhaps we could film it and make some money off it as reality tv)