I hate losing friends.
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Lately, I've been feeling depressed. I've lost friends because of my selfishness. I want to say sorry. I want to be their friend again. But instead, I just ignore them and inflict all the hatred onto them. I don't want to feel self pity..I feel so heartless..I FORCE myself to forget them. I go like "Its just one friend, it won't hurt. They are the ones that made you mad."
I need some advice. I want to be NON-selfish. But no matter how hard I try. It fails, I end up bitching(Sorry am i allowed to swear?) and losing friends. I try to be the center of attention but I end up looking like a fool. A little help please. ; ^ ;
By as in Selfishness as in this. My friends love to tease me and I hate that. So I decide to ignore them so they would leave me alone. So than the feel bad and try to make it up to me. Instead, I ignore and yell back at them .-. I just want to feel self-satisfaction = ^ =
I need some advice. I want to be NON-selfish. But no matter how hard I try. It fails, I end up bitching(Sorry am i allowed to swear?) and losing friends. I try to be the center of attention but I end up looking like a fool. A little help please. ; ^ ;
By as in Selfishness as in this. My friends love to tease me and I hate that. So I decide to ignore them so they would leave me alone. So than the feel bad and try to make it up to me. Instead, I ignore and yell back at them .-. I just want to feel self-satisfaction = ^ =
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You should probably clarify more on exactly what happened between you and your friend(s). By "selfishness", what do you mean? If they were continuously bothering you while you were trying to do something, that's not called a "friend", that's called an "annoyance". If they were a "friend", they should at least leave you alone for a while, and at most, find out why you're doing this something and maybe help you. If by "selfishness" you mean you only have friends because they have some sort of benefit, then I don't know, get to know them. If they're good people, then congratz, no problem. If they're retarded, make them better. Congratz, you're a "friend" now.
P.S. Sure feels nice in Counseling Hel-I mean, Serious Discussion.
P.S. Sure feels nice in Counseling Hel-I mean, Serious Discussion.
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Demonata wrote...
I need some advice. I want to be NON-selfish. But no matter how hard I try. It fails, I end up bitching(Sorry am i allowed to swear?) and losing friends. I try to be the center of attention but I end up looking like a fool. A little help please. ; ^ ;
By as in Selfishness as in this. My friends love to tease me and I hate that. So I decide to ignore them so they would leave me alone. So than the feel bad and try to make it up to me. Instead, I ignore and yell back at them .-. I just want to feel self-satisfaction = ^ =
Resist the urge to bite back and act all moody. You know your friends are just teasing you and don't mean it so play along and enjoy the ride.
Don't take their jesting too seriously but if it's becoming an issue tell them to cut it out.
There's more ways to get 'satisfaction' than to just yell at your friends.
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AvatarEnd wrote...
Be upfront and tell them what bothers you instead of holding it in until the situation blows up.He´s right, just talk to them or it will blow up and don´t be selfish.
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spectre257 wrote...
Resist the urge the bite back and act all moody. You know your friends are just teasing you and don't mean it so play along and enjoy the ride.
Don't take their jesting too seriously but if it's becoming an issue tell them to cut it out.
There's more ways to get 'satisfaction' than to just yell at your friends.
Pedrotaku wrote...
AvatarEnd wrote...
Be upfront and tell them what bothers you instead of holding it in until the situation blows up.He´s right, just talk to them or it will blow up and don´t be selfish.
Both they are right (+1). If you are really bothered by their jokes, tell them; if not, don't take them seriously.
Is not so easy, I know. =(
And if they bother you and they know, leave them .-. They are not friends really.
That's what I did. Sure now I'm not the most social person in the world now, but I feel good.
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If you feel they are laughing at you rather than with you, engage them to a duel. Repeatedly say, "Fight me son, FIGHT ME. Get over here right now! Let's go, son!"
If speaking to a girl, replace "son" with "daughter".
If speaking to a girl, replace "son" with "daughter".
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More than likely your friends now won't be the same 5-10 years from now. People change and move on. You, yourself will be totally different. Try to be happier, but if your friends are going to tease you all of the time they aren't really friends.
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I only miss one friend, and it still hurts me to this day. But as with all good things, they must come to an untimely end, and so she chose a pasture perceived by her to be greener. I wonder how I would be now if we had remained friends. Probably much happier. :
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eote wrote...
More than likely your friends now won't be the same 5-10 years from now. People change and move on. You, yourself will be totally different. Try to be happier, but if your friends are going to tease you all of the time they aren't really friends.I agree completely. I lightly tease my friends sometimes, but I never insult them on a personal level. For example if Jane had a scar on her face, I wouldn't make fun of her scar. Light teasing is calling someone ugly, dumb or a whore (along those lines). Something that can be said about anyone. When they start personally picking at your looks or personality - they're just being assholes.
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Mod Note: Topic has been moved from Serious Discussions to the Love, Romance and Relationships section. Friendships can be considered a form of relationship too.
Sorry for the inconvenience caused.
Sorry for the inconvenience caused.
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If you would like to apologize, then call him/her/them in the middle of the day (where they are usually buisy, I hope) and leave a message with the most sincere words you can think of, explain how much you miss them. And then you can hope they accept your apology. Oh and the reason why you call in the mid. Day is because you can avoid the conversation.
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[font=verdana][color=green]Meh; I've always been a cold-hearted bastard, so I won't be able to offer much advice in the way of getting your friends back. My advice would be just learn to cope with having less friends for the time being. The sooner you do that, the sooner you can move on with your life. No point getting beat up over losing some friends; shit happens.
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SamRavster wrote...
[font=verdana][color=green]Meh; I've always been a cold-hearted bastard, so I won't be able to offer much advice in the way of getting your friends back. My advice would be just learn to cope with having less friends for the time being. The sooner you do that, the sooner you can move on with your life. No point getting beat up over losing some friends; shit happens. I am the same.
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First of all, how do they tease you? Is it really teasing or bullying?
If you really want to get along again then swallow up your pride. Ignoring won't help, you're the one who'll be stuck.
Talk to them calmly, Listen to what they'll tell without bitching, Let their side and your side talk. Keep in mind that your goal is to get along with them - not arguing with them again, and be considerate. If there's no understanding in the process at both sides, then give up. They're not your friend and you are not their friend.
If you really want to get along again then swallow up your pride. Ignoring won't help, you're the one who'll be stuck.
Talk to them calmly, Listen to what they'll tell without bitching, Let their side and your side talk. Keep in mind that your goal is to get along with them - not arguing with them again, and be considerate. If there's no understanding in the process at both sides, then give up. They're not your friend and you are not their friend.