Intimicy issues.

I really don't like being touched. I absolutely hate hugs and stuff. This often causes problems for me in a relationship, i try to keep my distance when hanging out with my girl until I'M comfortable touching. This has led to more than a few breakups. Anybody got any advice? Cuz I'm actually a decent guy and i want to be in a good relationship.

Can you think of any reason for your recoil/reactions?

let's leave it at "rough childhood"

Okay.
Don't want to pry about specifics, but any sexual abuse/physical abuse?
Because that often is a HUGE factor in physical intimacy fears/reactions.

just about every type of abuse. my childhood sucked.

Yeah...bro, there's really no easy way for me to say this, but I think, if it was really as bad as you say, and it's affecting you this badly, you might need some counseling. Fast, if possible.

I am really, really sorry to hear that...I can't even say I can understand how you feel. That cannot have been easy.

The only suggestion I can provide is therapy. Something to help you address and cope with triggers of your abusive past and learn to trust psychical contact again, slowly.

you are missing the point. my life is fine. i just want a way to explain to people that i don't like being touched without getting into messy personal issues.

p.s. no pity please. don't need it. i enjoy my life.

I'd suggest just being open about it. You don't necessarily need to go into specifics at any point, just leave it at rough childhood like you did here. I think that's the best way to do it.

i agree. be up front but vague. the mysterious/brooding/damaged type can be greatly appealing to some women. they will want to nurture and fix you. slowly opening up and sharing an occasional detail will make her feel more involved in your life and closer to you.

Yup. I think being up front about it is key. I hate PDA myself and I'm up front about it, it works out ok for me.
But I wonder how long it takes for you to become comfortable?

At this point, it seems that it would go under "trust issues" rather than "rough childhood". I don't like labels so if you are happy with your life that's great.

Anyway, I'm no expert but if you let the person know that its a characteristic about yourself and that its takes some time for you to open up fully to people, maybe it should be fine. Expressing yourself verbally or otherwise may also help make up for what you can't express physically.

If you tell a girl you "want to take the time to treasure her".. who knows some girls may see it as being chivalrous.

then just explain it to them....but if its a potential GF/BF you might have to go into those "messy details" that you dont like getting into, they are more than likely going to want answers.

wow.. no offend watsoever but really remind me of the anime mayo chiki

I have to say... Tell them before you go out with them.. like when you are getting to know them.. so as to not take offence if you don't go for a hug etc.

By all means, you sound normal, just a slow mover of sorts. or if you don't want to mention your childhood, just state you feel you need to get to know the person, and get comfortable before you get intimate. If they don't like it, they aren't for you, and they can get fucked. simple :)

It's like me, I told my current girlfriend, if she cheats on me (cause my last 3 girlfriends cheated on me) I'm leaving the state, and will never talk to her again. mainly because this relationship is the best one i've had... ever.

But you get what i mean.. other people on here do a similar thing, give it a crack. what's the worst that can happen?

Being unable to be intimate with your partner in any form of romantic relationship will not lead to a healthy one and will lead to its demise.

While some people have differing levels of needing intimacy, a relationship still needs SOME or it lacks the romance needed to endure.

Go to therapy. This is not a normal situation and not something you should just "accept".

I agree that you don't need to "omg re-examine my life based on my past", but if the issues persist and you can't remedy them, that can (and probably will, as most relationships require a good balance of emotional AND physical intimacy to some degree) lead to a lot of frustration on your partner's part.

Short term, yes, you can explain it. But eventually you might desire intimacy and be unable to feel comfort in it, which will additionally frustrate you. My earlier post was a more long term solution to deal with that.

I have issues Opening up to people, alot of my friends say that "I don't talk enough" this could make them leave me.
Ugh Kinda like a Hedgehog dilemma once I open up... I end up being dicks to them if they get too close... wrecked lots of relationships.

How are you going to have sex then?

This^