Losing the will to date again...?

In need of a bit of advice. A few years back, i used to think dating girls and etc was the be, end all. I was a bit of a loser and a loner back then so i found it very difficult getting a girlfriend. When i finally did get a girlfriend, it was not as good as i had imagined it too be. Yeah it was fun and everything but when it ended it felt like it was such a waste of time. I have had 4 girlfriends over the past couple of years and every time it feels like there wasn't much point in the end.

Not only that but now that i'm 18 (going on to 19 next month), there seems to be some sort of ''game'' you have to play. It kinda goes down that ''Nice guys finish last'' mentality. I mean, when ever i get a girlfriend, i'm friends with them first, then we become close friends, then if i feel like i should ask her if she wants to become more than friends, i'd do so and and if it fails, it fails and I've gotta move on. But it seems like now things have become a lot more complicated with women and i honestly do not want to deal with stuff like that because for 1. I'm not the type of guy who thinks being a dick to someone is ''cool''. and 2. It feels like a total waste of time in my honest opinion.

being the cool guy is a waste of time in my opinion, let me put it to you black and white, love is the great weakness and strength known to mankind, it isn't easy to find for a reason, you are going to make some mistakes it's all apart of it, but if you feel like giving up, ask yourself, will you be happy if you were alone? If no, then I believe you have your answer, besides your only 18 you have the rest of your life ahead of you, why bum yourself out now?

What you're perceiving to be a problem is actually something wonderful. You're realizing that you don't need someone else to make you a complete person. You're growing up, you're becoming your own man and this is an amazing thing. Enjoy it, every other 18-early 20's male eventually reaches this stage. Do the things that make you happy. Don't want a girlfriend? Perfect! Enjoy your singledom. Work on your goals. Find your passions.

Seriously, this is just another step in growing up. Don't fret about your lack of desire to date, you'll be ready again eventually. Enjoy where you are right now, you're finally free and independent. Make the most of it.

I may be wrong here but it sounds to me like what you need is a really good friend and a little less drama. Have you been sexually active with these females?

I concur with some stipulations, have good friends, yes that's a given, but don't give up. Don't seek it out, just let it halogen. I sought love and I'm (for reasons unknown to me) trapped in a relationship that makes me more miserable than being alone. What I'm trying to say is, don't look, but don't look away should it cross your path. Also I'm curious, did you make secks at them? (it has very little bearing)

To me, it sounds like you mostly wanted a girlfriend to validate yourself - your ego, your social standing, etc - and then when the relationship ultimately failed without you getting what you expected... you considered it a waste of time. The problem there is that you can't go into a relationship expecting the other person to fix everything that you dislike in yourself. If you're just trying to use someone to elevate yourself, then it's no wonder you end up unhappy.

If you're losing the will, then just stop. There's no need to continue on with something irritating if you don't have to. Just give it a break and, again, take your partner into consideration. If you're doing it for just yourself, then you're doing it wrong. If you want anything more than sex, you need to have some sort of connection.

You're thinking like a young person but realizing there are other ways to think and it's causing you confusion.

In real dating world, you just ask a girl out on a date if you feel you want to. You don't have to go from friends, to good friends, to great friends, to risking friendship for it.

You can go acquaintance to dating if you feel you want to. Confessions and all that crap are better left to romcoms and high school kids. The closest you need to a confession is the point when you admit you love the other person.

And as above, it's mostly that you're also realizing you don't HAVE to have a girlfriend. The point of a relationship is not to be in a relationship. It's to see if you and the other person could potentially share a life and family together.

I'm gonna guess you weren't in love with any of these girls

Wrong.

You're only 18 and you're giving up?
A) I'm agreeing with ponponpon here.
B) You're obviously going about it the wrong way. I've dated a few girls in my time (I'm only 20, bah) and none of them felt like a waste of my time. Well, I lie... a few did, but they cheated on me, or used me for their own personal gain.

If you did really love those girls you dated, it wouldn't have felt like a waste of time. Period.
Perhaps you need to find out what love actually is, before getting back into it.

To be fair, i exaggerate a bit when i say they were a waste of time. And i will admit, i'm still at an age where it's quite too early to start thinking about stuff like this.

Just reiterating, don't give up, but don't actively search. Let it just happen.

Pretty much these days, relationships are relied on sex...

That is not at all true.

I only had one girlfriend, and i don't think relationships are a waste of time.

Some guys just have girlfriends and don't dig deep on what that kind of relationship means. A strong love relationship begins with something you cannot control and has a meaning you understand but you cannot put into words to describe it. It just happens and it grows when time passes.

Just give yourself some time and keep socializing with people. As a friend would say "Leave the rest to fate". It may take years (I got my girlfriend at age 25)

as some one who in a way has lost my will to date and im 20 and plus where i am there arent many if any people my age i would date cause im not into gilfs cause well i would say take some time and i have to agree with drifter relationships arent about sex and i know cause well i got cheated on and lied to base on the fact that she wanted supposedly to have sex but she had a kid and well im not gonna get into it much it will happen and get your behind to a club or something idk