Not sure what to do in this situation.

Ok, here's something for you all.

There's this girl I really like(gee, really?). I think she is an amazing person, smart, cute, and very expressive. She's also a huge nerd and anime nerd which is a total plus. The problem is, her family seems to have her doped up on a lot of medication for depression and ADD or ADHD, whichever they are calling it these days. Based on what I have heard from my friends who have known her a little longer than I have, and some things she has mentioned to me, I do not think she has had a very nurturing family environment that is supportive of her interests, lifestyle, and tastes. I have heard the family has a history with depression and so when she got in one little fight with a sibling, the parental units freak and send her off to a doctor to get prescribed medicine. Mind you, she's still a teenager, and I can remember getting into quarrels that became physical with my own older brother. That shit happens, kids grow and learn, but the parents seem over paranoid and so have her doped up.

To make things worse, the classmates in her highschool all make fun of her and this is made worse by attending the remedial section of the school where the classes are 14-20 kids at the most, per grade, so there doesn't seem to be anyone to hang out with who isn't a fuck head. Thankfully she is a senior and so this is her last year of highschool.

So far I have had one date with her, and we both had a great time. However that following weekend she skipped taking her meds and seemed zonked emotionally the other times I saw her(she recently started doing tabletop RPG with a group of friends of mine and LARP). Well parents got wind of this and either they admitted her, or she admitted herself to a psychiatric center for a week, or however long it may take for whatever is going on there.

What I'm feeling is a sense that this girl, whom I think is cute and wonderful, doesn't deserve the cards that has been dealt to her and would love to become some sort of strong emotional support for her and to start a relationship. Though I also realize that she needs to find support for herself to bring herself out of depression and become less dependent on medication. What could happen is she becomes supper clingy and has nothing to fall back on if I'm not around, for say, a week, or something doesn't work out and we break up.

Of course this has only been one date and several regular social occasions with friends so I could definitely be over thinking this, but hey that's what I do. I also don't have another perspective, like from her parents themselves, nor have I seen the family life in person to truly know anything for absolute certain.

So my question to you, Fakku, is this a noble cause for a possible BF/GF relationship, or is it best kept at really good friends? I ask this because it could be extremely one sided for a very long time. I am merely looking for simple thoughts, suggestions, discussions, anything really.

Thanks!

tl;dr: Cute, anime, nerd girl is doped up by family on possibly too many depression meds. Help poor little depressed shy girl and start relationship, or not?

I don't know.. I'd help her.. but if the parents find out, and they are aggressive people (it happens) you could get in lots of shit, or else, they could just ban her from seeing you.. these things happen.. seriously, watch what you do.. unless you make her really really happy and her parents believe her and want her to keep doing it, they'll want you to leave her alone :|

Let's be real here. Your heart burns with a passion for this girl. Your meat needs her taco.

So what you're going to do is pull a Liam Neeson.

You saw that movie Taken? Yeah everyone's fucking seen it.

Ok, so go to fucking France or whatever place in Europe, beat the shit out of everyone, yeah even her parents, take her back home and make sweet love.

Sound like a plan?

I think this is a situation that is happening a lot nowadays. Personally, my thoughts are: she has been medicated for a while, she lacks the skills to cope with everyday stress triggers. There is a possibility that this will never resolve itself, ever. How much of your time/life you want to sacrifice taking care of her issues and dealing with her parents (who sound psycho btw) is up to you, but you might want to be prepared of the possibility that this may be a life-long uphill battle.

Good luck.

If I was you and I had other options I would probably not go there as far as a relationship based solely off of one date.

But hey, if you like the girl, keep poking at it and see what comes out of it, you never know a relationship and someone to talk to about her problems could help her depression as well.

Thanks for the replies, all has been helpful information to put the situation into perspective. Now I need to actually watch Taken, lol.

Feel free to keep contributing if anyone has their two cents. I'll keep reading.

Thanks again!

I say help her. The truth is, parents (or anybody for that matter) have little understanding of mental conditions unless they themselves have it (I should know, ADHD, Aspergers syndrome and autistic) also, parents are hard to explain things to, it's much easier to tell all of your problems to a friend than it is your parents, so there is no chance of explaining to her parents what she thinks should happen. So what she needs is someone to help her through this, someone who she knows will listen, someone who will not judge her and who she can come to for a shoulder to cry on, she needs you.

You have adhd, aspergers and you're autistic? HOW DO YOU WRITE SO WELL?

Still a good idea.

"Doped up" to you, but it may be helping her. As someone who was in a similar situation to her myself in high school, I found the meds actually made a big difference.

Unless they're making her feel apathetic... that's not good then.

Hmmm I see what you mean and you make a very good point. When I've noticed her normally, that is regularly taking medication, she seems quite normal and very outgoing.

I suppose I have this view that you shouldn't always need some kind of medication, especially for a mental disorder and especially when you're a teenager, to "fix" everything. Though "everything" is most likely something she is born with, but it sounds like her family life isn't helping much either.

Thanks again for the replies.

You're too young to take on the mental baggage that this girl is going to bring to the table and you will not be able to handle the problems when you try to 'help' her.

This is beyond you and as much as you may want to have a relationship with her, it ain't happening.