Problem with ejaculation

Hi guys, let me thank you in advance for those who will answer...

Last night, I had sex with my girlfriend for the first time. It was my first, but she already did it before (which doesn't matter to me). After penetrating her for quite a while, I got off her and asked her to give me a handjob to make me cum.

Now the problem is, despite coming close to cumming (I even told her my weak spot)... I can't, but she wanted to drink my cum and I was a bit ashamed that I couldn't cum for her.

I admit, I fapped quite a bit beforehand because I wasn't expecting the turn of events... I usually fap through my boxers, and in an unconventional way (if that helps).

What should I do? Is it me with the abnormality or is it something else?

Did you feel the orgasm without releasing the jizz or did you just not cum?

It's more of the latter.

EDIT: Actually, it's a mix of the two, with emphasis on the latter.

Since this is your first time just know this. It can be a little tricky to cum easily the first couple of times with your partner. Even if you know your "weak spots" it takes time for two people to search out their partners pleasure zones. You may have areas that arouse you that you didn't even know of. Slow and steady wins the race, have your girlfriend try foreplay on you such as sensual touching and kisses on your body but not on your member. Playing around and teasing can increase the pleasure you feel through anticipation and expectation.

I would also try to go into the next session without mastrubating beforehand. Women don't care about pre-ejaculation as much as men do and it gives the woman more knowledge about the man (we aim to please).

Make sure you relax. You may also have some nerves and worries, but as a woman I will say this: We don't give a shit about your worries (I use to hate when men would ask me "was I good?"). We like you and we wanna have sex and as long are you men are open to pleasuring us then we will do the same no matter how long it takes.... if the woman isn't up to it then she needs to let loose and enjoy herself more.

If you find yourself not cumming in sex or fapping then you might need to go to the doc and get a diabetes test. I have this. But sounding in your case is stage fright. Too nervous for the act. You might need to relax and not flog the dolphin before sex unless you just need to last longer. You might wanta try more foreplay and get mentality pumped before the next time.

While there are several reasons it could be I would have to say the most likely one is that you were anxious.

Anxiety is a real bitch when it comes to sex and can really fuck things up with you sexuality including things like not being able to get it up as well as reduced sensitivity (not being able to cum easily).

Couple this with the fact that you masturbated beforehand which is naturally going to make you less sensitive and harder to cum and you get the problem you were experiencing.

The first thing you need to do is either not masturbate beforehand, or do it far enough in advance that you are either not going to influence your sensitivity drastically. I would suggest not until you are more comfortable with sex and feel less anxious.

The other thing you need to do is you need to not make sex about the finish. A lot of people make the mistake that sex is about the Big O. This is not the way you should go about doing it. Instead, you should focus on making your partner feel good and reveling in the emotions you're experiencing. If you do that you will naturally feel less anxious about sex in return.

A lot of problems in sex will occur by focusing on the end result because you try to make it a race instead of about the pleasure.

I'm not really an expert in this biological matters. You could've been nervous or your pre-sex fapping might have affected.

On the bright side, you might be able to last longer than average with brings more pleasure to both parties.

I do believe it is something with you being too nervous. Just relax, man and get yourself in the moment.

Oh, and congratulations on losing your virginity! I feel that every man who lost his virginity to the woman he loves should be congratulated

Said to death already, but it's most likely more psychological. You were probably anxious or nervous and that can really fuck with your libido and performance.

Thanks again guys. I guess it's anxiety after all, since I got a little pressured because she already has prior experience compared to me. Hopefully next time will be different, as the two of us enjoy it together.




Many thanks, man. I'm very happy that she was my first, and hopefully I'll go steady with her, and love her even after our marriage.

The key to it is like I said, just focus on making her feel good and just enjoying the emotions instead of the finish. It'll naturally make you less nervous.

Just go in pretending you're a hentai protagonist.

But yeah, nerves can really put you off pretty much anything your body can do. It's mind over matter.

I had the same problem, its lack of experience between the two couples I think, as well as stage fright.
I was only able to finish by my own hand

I have to say it the lack of knowing your partner yet that gives that problem. <.< with all my partners through the years saddly I've never cum once with any of them no matter how long we tryed.