Romance and Aspirations
2
I wasn't sure whether this should go in the 'Love, Romance, and Relationships' section or the 'Dreams and Aspirations' section.
I have some advice for any of you young lovers. [color=red]If you don't want to read a wall of text about my personal life, skip to the last paragraph.[/color]
As a teenager, I felt as if I required a significant other in my life in order to be a complete person. Having someone to love and appreciate is truly a wonderful feeling. At the age of 24, I now look back on those thoughts and begin to wonder if I had misinterpreted my true feelings.
I played a lot of video games as I began to develop into an adult (or rather into a taller child, and then into an adult). I was a sucker for romance. The first girl I met online was bipolar (which doesn't disqualify a person from being genuine, honest and loving), but she was a horrible person. Refusing to get her life together, she continued to fall deeper into a pit of depression and anger. She was using me as one of her failed attempts at happiness. I didn't appreciate it, and I tried to be her friend afterwards, but she was simply too far gone for me to associate with. I hope she eventually finds peace with herself.
My second girlfriend I had met before my first, but we had just been friends who talked online. It was a one-sided relationship in the beginning, but she remembered me later on in life and offered me a relationship. She was another person with a rough life who felt they needed someone to love in order to feel wanted in this world. She was much, much better person though. She wasn't perfect by any means. She was also bipolar, schizophrenic, and very depressive. But she treated me kindly and didn't act as though I was a worthless sack of crap unlike some other girl I used to know. But I eventually realized that it wasn't going to work with her either. I always ended up emptying my wallet when she came to visit. I couldn't afford it, and I had a talk about it. I acted rudely about it, insulting her and asking for a greater commitment. I quickly withdrew my words and apologized for what I had said. She was upset at first, but forgave me, and also agreed that she needed to get her own life back on track. She has since made an effort to do so, and I am very happy for her. We still keep in contact, but are no longer in a relationship.
Now I am back to square one, but I'm looking at life differently now. I look at the situation I'm in and realize that I don't need to be in a relationship if it costs me my future. I am not satisfied with the life I am living, and hope to slowly change how I live from day to day. I want to slowly earn more money at my job, save more money, start writing, be more creative, share my ideas and become happy by doing what I want to do. I have no interest in falling in love if it means having to give up on my aspirations.
My suggestion to everyone (and I emphasize the word 'suggestion', I do not take pleasure in telling people what to do. We have enough of that bullshit in everyday society) is to take time in your life to focus on yourself. Meet friends along the way, and be happy, chase your dreams, or at least try. If you fall in love, it's okay, but don't let it stop you. Find someone who will help you chase your dreams. This world is grand, and anything is possible. Go for it.
I have some advice for any of you young lovers. [color=red]If you don't want to read a wall of text about my personal life, skip to the last paragraph.[/color]
As a teenager, I felt as if I required a significant other in my life in order to be a complete person. Having someone to love and appreciate is truly a wonderful feeling. At the age of 24, I now look back on those thoughts and begin to wonder if I had misinterpreted my true feelings.
I played a lot of video games as I began to develop into an adult (or rather into a taller child, and then into an adult). I was a sucker for romance. The first girl I met online was bipolar (which doesn't disqualify a person from being genuine, honest and loving), but she was a horrible person. Refusing to get her life together, she continued to fall deeper into a pit of depression and anger. She was using me as one of her failed attempts at happiness. I didn't appreciate it, and I tried to be her friend afterwards, but she was simply too far gone for me to associate with. I hope she eventually finds peace with herself.
My second girlfriend I had met before my first, but we had just been friends who talked online. It was a one-sided relationship in the beginning, but she remembered me later on in life and offered me a relationship. She was another person with a rough life who felt they needed someone to love in order to feel wanted in this world. She was much, much better person though. She wasn't perfect by any means. She was also bipolar, schizophrenic, and very depressive. But she treated me kindly and didn't act as though I was a worthless sack of crap unlike some other girl I used to know. But I eventually realized that it wasn't going to work with her either. I always ended up emptying my wallet when she came to visit. I couldn't afford it, and I had a talk about it. I acted rudely about it, insulting her and asking for a greater commitment. I quickly withdrew my words and apologized for what I had said. She was upset at first, but forgave me, and also agreed that she needed to get her own life back on track. She has since made an effort to do so, and I am very happy for her. We still keep in contact, but are no longer in a relationship.
Now I am back to square one, but I'm looking at life differently now. I look at the situation I'm in and realize that I don't need to be in a relationship if it costs me my future. I am not satisfied with the life I am living, and hope to slowly change how I live from day to day. I want to slowly earn more money at my job, save more money, start writing, be more creative, share my ideas and become happy by doing what I want to do. I have no interest in falling in love if it means having to give up on my aspirations.
My suggestion to everyone (and I emphasize the word 'suggestion', I do not take pleasure in telling people what to do. We have enough of that bullshit in everyday society) is to take time in your life to focus on yourself. Meet friends along the way, and be happy, chase your dreams, or at least try. If you fall in love, it's okay, but don't let it stop you. Find someone who will help you chase your dreams. This world is grand, and anything is possible. Go for it.