[Locked] Should I feel betrayed or enlightened?

So recently I had a real big relationship shake up (at least in my mind) and I am not all too sure what to think of it. For the sake of this thread let's call my girlfriend of over a year "Samantha." Things to note about Samantha: as far as she's told me she is a virgin, she has had suicidal tendencies, and she is not on antidepressants right now because she wanted to go on birth control for me (it was a trade off drug kind of thing). Well just the other day we were talking about me moving away to college and how that may interrupt our intimacy (for lack of a better term). I said that yeah it would be tough but hey, nothing we can't get through. Then the conversation went to how she wishes she could help and satisfy me more and that its like she can't because of all these changes and such. I then said that it's okay because I end up being very happy when she gets aroused when I play with her (fingering). She wanted to say something but didn't, so I coerced her into finally giving in. Turns out that she didn't like the fingering at all. That was a big shocker to me; especially since I had been doing so for months for her. This however wasn't what really got to me (I mean it hurt a bit that she would lie to me about it in a brief sense); it was when I asked if she had faked feeling aroused every time we had done so. She said "duh." This killed me; we had both promised each other many many months prior that no one would "act" like what the other was doing was actually good when it wasn't. I thought that would be a nice way for us to communicate when really I was doing something wrong. Really what it turned into though was a giant lie that lasted for months and months! And I would ask her after it every time if she thought I did good; she lied and said it was great. And I had even asked recently if she was faking it and she told me straight to my face that she wasn't. After hearing that I had a hard time understanding why she had lied, and she didn't want to answer any questions about it. And she now thinks its okay if we have sex, but doesn't care in the slightest about her body. It really scares me how carless she could be with something so important. I don't know; am I right to be upset as I am? I mean I am almost questioning the whole relationship. And I honestly loved her. Everyone hates that sappy stuff I know, but we had a lot of stuff going for us. Now I feel really betrayed. And on top of all this I'm afraid she might kill herself if I leave her. Ugh... It's gotten confusing I know so I can answer most questions you ask. I almost feel like we would be better friends than girlfriend boyfriend, but I care about her so much I don't know if I can do that.

-Hippo

**edit** tl;dr : My girlfriend of over a year has been lying about feeling good when I finger her. Not sure how mad I should be since she has been lying a lot. Not sure how I should handle anything.

When you learn to play like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=34r0ZcaOYdw

You're good to go

lol your all over the place with that post, but anyway its simple, fingering might just not turn her on no matter how good you are at it it just might not be her thing,instead of getting upset start by asking her what DOES turn her on and go from there.

First off, HA! Not to sound offensive, but Sungha's not all THAT amazing, especially of you look at who his influences are (the kid's still young and can learn more). When OP learns to play like these fuckers, THEN he can consider himself good.

Also, hippo, what do you mean by more of a sexual relationship than you want?

And you might wanna confront her directly about her constant lying to you. She wouldn't be doing that if she wasn't hiding anything, or if she was happy in the relationship.