Southampton UK chap needs advice
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Hey, I'm a chap who lives in Southampton UK, I would like some advice when it comes to courting the fairer sex. I would say I'm some what of an average chap, in terms of looks, save for my long hair and beard. However I've never been great with the ladies. I've had a few lucky encounters with people who I could connect with, and have some short relationships, but these are more chance encounters. I was hoping someone could give advice as to how I could better present myself, for a better chance in such matters.
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Misaki_Chi
Fakku Nurse
Things you can do to increase success and to help with appealing more to women:
-Bathe and groom: I know this is nothing new, but caring for yourself shows women that you have pride and self worth. You don't need to do anything too fancy, just shower on a consistent basis, use deodorant for BO, brush teeth, keep hair groomed, etc. Cologne is also a nice touch, just don't overdo it.
**As my own personal note, please cut nails with nail clippers. This is a pet peeve of mine when a man doesn't trim them down and they scratch me like a rake.
*** When it comes to beards, there are going to be women who don't like them (they can be viewed as dirty), but this is your personal preference. Either shave it off or groom it.
- Dress to impress: I don't mean to say that you need to wear 007 suit and tie sort of clothing. Rather, if your wanting to impressing a woman don't wear the pizza stained goomba tshirt in the back of your closet. Clean clothes that complement your body shape and physique shows a woman that you like to look your best and you care about yourself.
- Manners: I can't emphasize this enough. Open doors for women, say thank you to thoughtful gestures and saying please if you need something. Paying for a women (at least on the first date or two). When going to get something (like more soda, napkins, [out somewhere or at home] something from your fridge) ask the woman if she wants something. Manners = thoughtful.
**Also keep curse words down to a minimum or nonexistent until you know the woman better
- Casual vs Creepy: This is something that guys have an issue with since they don't know what constitutes as creepy to women. Women have just as much problems socially interacting with men as men do with women (I know this doesn't seem true, but it is. It might just be in a different way). When you want to make conversation with a women be cool and casual. When you spot a woman, don't stare her down like a piece of meet. Just go and talk with her! Start out with a friendly vibe and keep a little distance when you interact. Hello is always a good opener if you have nothing else to say. Please don't use cheesy pick-up lines (if they didn't work before, they probably aren't going to work now).
**Every girl has there own creep scale, keep in mind some girls are just b*tches that can be shallow and not wanna talk with anyone that isn't on their "perfection in a man" list. It's a hit or miss with social talk so you just have to go with the flow and if it isn't going anywhere then just leave it.
- Conversations: basics are to be engaging in what she has to say and openminded. Get to know the woman, ask her things about herself, things she likes, her looks (specifically her lovely smile, hair or eyes). Let her talk more so then making it all about yourself. No girl likes a man that gloats and talks about himself 24/7 (there is a difference between a quiet woman who likes knowing more about a man and a man who dominates the conversation).
**Big no-nos until much later on (unless established): politics and religion (it's okay to know the basics, but further delving into such sensitive subjects can turn the mood sour pretty quick)
-Bathe and groom: I know this is nothing new, but caring for yourself shows women that you have pride and self worth. You don't need to do anything too fancy, just shower on a consistent basis, use deodorant for BO, brush teeth, keep hair groomed, etc. Cologne is also a nice touch, just don't overdo it.
**As my own personal note, please cut nails with nail clippers. This is a pet peeve of mine when a man doesn't trim them down and they scratch me like a rake.
*** When it comes to beards, there are going to be women who don't like them (they can be viewed as dirty), but this is your personal preference. Either shave it off or groom it.
- Dress to impress: I don't mean to say that you need to wear 007 suit and tie sort of clothing. Rather, if your wanting to impressing a woman don't wear the pizza stained goomba tshirt in the back of your closet. Clean clothes that complement your body shape and physique shows a woman that you like to look your best and you care about yourself.
- Manners: I can't emphasize this enough. Open doors for women, say thank you to thoughtful gestures and saying please if you need something. Paying for a women (at least on the first date or two). When going to get something (like more soda, napkins, [out somewhere or at home] something from your fridge) ask the woman if she wants something. Manners = thoughtful.
**Also keep curse words down to a minimum or nonexistent until you know the woman better
- Casual vs Creepy: This is something that guys have an issue with since they don't know what constitutes as creepy to women. Women have just as much problems socially interacting with men as men do with women (I know this doesn't seem true, but it is. It might just be in a different way). When you want to make conversation with a women be cool and casual. When you spot a woman, don't stare her down like a piece of meet. Just go and talk with her! Start out with a friendly vibe and keep a little distance when you interact. Hello is always a good opener if you have nothing else to say. Please don't use cheesy pick-up lines (if they didn't work before, they probably aren't going to work now).
**Every girl has there own creep scale, keep in mind some girls are just b*tches that can be shallow and not wanna talk with anyone that isn't on their "perfection in a man" list. It's a hit or miss with social talk so you just have to go with the flow and if it isn't going anywhere then just leave it.
- Conversations: basics are to be engaging in what she has to say and openminded. Get to know the woman, ask her things about herself, things she likes, her looks (specifically her lovely smile, hair or eyes). Let her talk more so then making it all about yourself. No girl likes a man that gloats and talks about himself 24/7 (there is a difference between a quiet woman who likes knowing more about a man and a man who dominates the conversation).
**Big no-nos until much later on (unless established): politics and religion (it's okay to know the basics, but further delving into such sensitive subjects can turn the mood sour pretty quick)
Spoiler:
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Gravity cat
the adequately amused
Hello fellow Britfag who has long hair and a beard.
If conversations go stale start talking about something else, possibly something funny.
- Keep eye contact when engaging in a conversation
- Dress casual but smart
- Bathe and keep groomed
- Have some self-confidence. If you can't do that, have a bit of dutch courage (alcomahol)
- Be yourself (Unless you're a prick, then don't be a prick)
If conversations go stale start talking about something else, possibly something funny.
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Well I say self confidence is key. Try talking with friends about woman and looking up on dating websites and see what relationships are like. :) you can call it snooping, I call creative investigation of the opposite sex. XD and be comfortable and be you.
If you show a a person that isn't you then you're stuck acting like someone your not. If you get anyone's phone number you seem to connect with try asking them out to open locations to talk and get to know eachother. (Also so she doesn't think you're a creep :P) a quick chat over coffee at a cafe, walks in the park, hey maybe you both have something you both like then you can go and decide to do that! Slowly but surely once you'll settled and comfortable with what you Iike in the person Im sure it'll work out. :)
Good luck!
If you show a a person that isn't you then you're stuck acting like someone your not. If you get anyone's phone number you seem to connect with try asking them out to open locations to talk and get to know eachother. (Also so she doesn't think you're a creep :P) a quick chat over coffee at a cafe, walks in the park, hey maybe you both have something you both like then you can go and decide to do that! Slowly but surely once you'll settled and comfortable with what you Iike in the person Im sure it'll work out. :)
Good luck!