Story of I
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Hello me. This is my world. I live in my place in the city.
Its a quiet place to be in, with the steel beams and the rust all around. Nobody ever bothers me. I am alone in my peace.
But sometimes I leave this place. I, me, and myself. I go to different places, and different times.
Today I am going to a time of me, back when I was living with myself. I was a very loving mother once. I loved me soo very much.
Sometimes I go to another time of me, back when I was working for me, it was rather happy and productive. Sure I pushed myself a lot, but I got the just reward for all my good work.
And then I go to a not soo happy place. A place of death and blood. Its a rather bad place. I see me, thousands of me. Its soo bright and soo burning hot. All that remains is me. I went and hid in a dark room of my place in the city.
But I don't like to talk about that often. It's very sad. I prefer to go to happier places.
Like this one time I saw someone that wasn't me. Boy, was I happy. It was a rather happy not-me. A very small very dark very soft not-me. Not-me was my friend for a long time. But then not-me went away. I cried that day, and then ate.
Sometimes I go from my place in the city, and explore it. Its a rather sad place, and I only do so when I feel hungry. It brings back sad memories of the time that I wouldn't let me into my dark room of my place in the city. That made me very very sad.
Sometimes I find words in the city, they say interesting things. Did you know that a long long time ago, not-me, from very very far away, could talk to me? It is very interesting.
Sometimes I find very sad words too. Angry words. Words that scare me and make me very very sad. And very sad pictures too. Pictures of mushrooms that go above the clouds. Very sad.
But then I go to a more happy place. A picture of me and I, playing with the small me. It's very fun and very happy. It's where I like to spend most of my days.
Sometimes I like to wonder, would I still be sad if.....
Sometimes I see faces that are not me. They make me very very sad. I make out how pretty that face is. Small, with hair that looks like cut wheat. Eyes that look like small emeralds. It makes me very sad. So sad it makes me cry.. Why did it have to end in this horrible fucking goddamn place? Why the fuck did I lock my own goddamn fucking children out of my goddamn fucking bunker jesus fucking christ what the fuck kind of fucking mom am I! Why the hell am I still fucking alive! Why did I have to live in this goddamn forsaken hell hole all by my goddamn fucking self! Goddamn I fucking deserve this! I am such a worthless piece of dog shit! I mean, look at me! I locked my own fucking children out there to face this shit all by their self! I don't fucking deserve to live! Someone kill me!
But its alright. I will be alright in the end. Because then I go back to all the happy me in my world. It is a very happy place. It is warm and its snugly. I feel the sun on my face as I look to the me playing in the sand. I am soo happy right now.
I think I will stay here for a while.
Its a quiet place to be in, with the steel beams and the rust all around. Nobody ever bothers me. I am alone in my peace.
But sometimes I leave this place. I, me, and myself. I go to different places, and different times.
Today I am going to a time of me, back when I was living with myself. I was a very loving mother once. I loved me soo very much.
Sometimes I go to another time of me, back when I was working for me, it was rather happy and productive. Sure I pushed myself a lot, but I got the just reward for all my good work.
And then I go to a not soo happy place. A place of death and blood. Its a rather bad place. I see me, thousands of me. Its soo bright and soo burning hot. All that remains is me. I went and hid in a dark room of my place in the city.
But I don't like to talk about that often. It's very sad. I prefer to go to happier places.
Like this one time I saw someone that wasn't me. Boy, was I happy. It was a rather happy not-me. A very small very dark very soft not-me. Not-me was my friend for a long time. But then not-me went away. I cried that day, and then ate.
Sometimes I go from my place in the city, and explore it. Its a rather sad place, and I only do so when I feel hungry. It brings back sad memories of the time that I wouldn't let me into my dark room of my place in the city. That made me very very sad.
Sometimes I find words in the city, they say interesting things. Did you know that a long long time ago, not-me, from very very far away, could talk to me? It is very interesting.
Sometimes I find very sad words too. Angry words. Words that scare me and make me very very sad. And very sad pictures too. Pictures of mushrooms that go above the clouds. Very sad.
But then I go to a more happy place. A picture of me and I, playing with the small me. It's very fun and very happy. It's where I like to spend most of my days.
Sometimes I like to wonder, would I still be sad if.....
Sometimes I see faces that are not me. They make me very very sad. I make out how pretty that face is. Small, with hair that looks like cut wheat. Eyes that look like small emeralds. It makes me very sad. So sad it makes me cry.. Why did it have to end in this horrible fucking goddamn place? Why the fuck did I lock my own goddamn fucking children out of my goddamn fucking bunker jesus fucking christ what the fuck kind of fucking mom am I! Why the hell am I still fucking alive! Why did I have to live in this goddamn forsaken hell hole all by my goddamn fucking self! Goddamn I fucking deserve this! I am such a worthless piece of dog shit! I mean, look at me! I locked my own fucking children out there to face this shit all by their self! I don't fucking deserve to live! Someone kill me!
But its alright. I will be alright in the end. Because then I go back to all the happy me in my world. It is a very happy place. It is warm and its snugly. I feel the sun on my face as I look to the me playing in the sand. I am soo happy right now.
I think I will stay here for a while.
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That was interesting, I would like to see some more. The last bit really kinda explained why the person seems kinda psychotic. All I have so say is will there be more?
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Angelus Lapsus wrote...
That was interesting, I would like to see some more. The last bit really kinda explained why the person seems kinda psychotic. All I have so say is will there be more?I was thinking about writing a dual perspective type of story, but then I get other ideas for more stories, so meh! You know how it is :P
