[Summer 2014] Leonard267: A Report on the Place of Marriage

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leonard267 FAKKU Non-Writer
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WRITE A REPORT ON THE PLACE OF MARRIAGE


As with any assignment title that is presented before my eyes, I felt as if someone was shouting the words at me, demanding that I comply to whatever that is contained within the title. As often as I tried to entertain the adage, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words could never hurt me", I could not help but to feel threatened and even hurt by that title!

There are very good reasons for feeling that way. Failing to comply with the requirements of most assignments would mean a good tongue lashing from my teacher, the admonishment of my parents, the head-shaking of my peers and the ostracisation of society in general. However, this assignment was different. Allow me to furnish you with the details:

Search websites and my brain for information pertaining to these topics:

1. The role of males and females in marriage
2. Divorce rates
3. The impact for celebrity divorces and marriages
4. Religious or secular wedding ceremonies
5. Pre-nuptial contracts
6. The average age of married couples
7. Fly in / Fly out marriages


It felt like a loaded question designed to make sure that I could never give an answer that properly reflected what I thought. To make matters worse, it was not a topic that I am familiar with in the first place being young, carefree, distant from the worries of the world and of an age where I still have to complete school assignments and couldn't care less about impregnating some woman and forced to be by her side for the rest of my life.

Furthermore, it was a Moral Education assignment which is itself an oddity of sorts. Right and wrong can't be taught by regurgitating textbooks and listening to teachers, not least by doing an assignment! If it were a Sociology assignment though, I might accord it with more respect. Since it isn't and since it is very patronising and rude (never mind that all assignment questions are like that), I am going to respond in kind:

1. The role of males and females in marriage
Male impregnates the female. Female gets impregnated by the male. Both of them would then breathe down each other's necks for the rest of their lives unless one of them dies first.

2. Divorce Rates
They could be high; they could be low. They are existent anyway. Though if you throw away the concept of marriage, there couldn't be divorce to begin with, let alone divorce rates.

3. The impact for celebrity divorces and marriages
Man or woman on TV gets married. Nothing to do with me. What impact?

4. Religious / Secular Wedding Ceremonies
One ceremony is religious while the other is secular. Next question.

5. Pre-nuptial contracts
They are contracts that are pre-nuptial. I can't go any further. Do you really want me to talk about arranged marriages between children?! I don't want to go off sounding like a paedophile!

6. Average age of married couples
See answer to No. 2. and replace "divorce rates" with "average age of married couples". I don't see why you have to ask this though. Are married couples sensitive about their age like virgin schoolgirls?

7. Fly in / Fly out Marriages
I feel like picking up accounting or commerce after reading this. Is it some variant of the First in, First Out method of accounting? Well, both of them have the acronym FIFO!

I have doubts whether Fly in / Fly out marriages are about marriage since flying is involved. If you are married, especially with children, chances are you cannot go on a holiday whenever you wished. Then again, going by its name, it appears that things go in and go out in that marriage. Are you referring to intercourse by any chance?!


END OF ASSIGNMENT



With that, I submitted the assignment feeling very smug. For some reason this was assigned to me just before the holidays were about to begin. This means I would not be hounded by whoever that assigned me to do this at least till the holidays end.

Could someone tell me how long would it take for the man on the street to forget the contents of this answer?
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leonard267 wrote...

Failing to comply with the requirements of most assignments would mean a good tongue lashing from my teacher, the admonishment of my parents, the head-shaking of my peers and the ostracisation of society in general.


You forgot a whipping if in conservative religious school.

1. The role of males and females in marriage
Male impregnates the female. Female gets impregnated by the male. Both of them would then breathe down each other's necks for the rest of their lives unless one of them dies first.


Hence it's something to be proud of to have a 30-year marriage, because you managed to survive the spouse for a significant piece of your life.

3. The impact for celebrity divorces and marriages
Man or woman on TV gets married. Nothing to do with me. What impact?


Apparently it causes a disturbance in the force.


END OF ASSIGNMENT


F-
That is what it would be rated in a school, and you'd also get a visit to the principle for saying the no-no word "pedophilia". If I was a teacher however, I would've given it a B+ for simplicity.

Could someone tell me how long would it take for the man on the street to forget the contents of this answer?


5 minutes because plebeian.
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leonard267 FAKKU Non-Writer
Shikinokami wrote...


END OF ASSIGNMENT


F-
That is what it would be rated in a school, and you'd also get a visit to the principle for saying the no-no word "pedophilia". If I was a teacher however, I would've given it a B+ for simplicity.



Not an A+?
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leonard267 wrote...
Shikinokami wrote...


END OF ASSIGNMENT


F-
That is what it would be rated in a school, and you'd also get a visit to the principle for saying the no-no word "pedophilia". If I was a teacher however, I would've given it a B+ for simplicity.



Not an A+?


No, the man doesn't appreciate when you try to fite the power.
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the picture is basically one funniest part in this essay. it's nice. could be bit longer and elaborate where you provide mind-wrecking bits though :D

for example, if I didn't really answer the question all that seriously, I would meander in the next few paragraphs thinking about perverted things and writing something grotesque while at the same time insert things that matches the point while the rest basically have no point! though if you're writing this, you'd prolly take a different approach anyway.
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leonard267 FAKKU Non-Writer
high_time wrote...
the picture is basically one funniest part in this essay. it's nice. could be bit longer and elaborate where you provide mind-wrecking bits though :D

for example, if I didn't really answer the question all that seriously, I would meander in the next few paragraphs thinking about perverted things and writing something grotesque while at the same time insert things that matches the point while the rest basically have no point! though if you're writing this, you'd prolly take a different approach anyway.


If I made it long, CO2 wouldn't read it and I wouldn't be able to submit an entry for the event given how slow I write!
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leonard267 wrote...

If I made it long, CO2 wouldn't read it and I wouldn't be able to submit an entry for the event given how slow I write!


ah I see :D

well can't be helped with jobs and stuff which kinda drains ya a lot :)
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Was this an actual assignment you had for a class? Or did you just make this up? I honestly can't tell.
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leonard267 FAKKU Non-Writer
d(^_^)(^_^)d wrote...
Was this an actual assignment you had for a class? Or did you just make this up? I honestly can't tell.


It was an assignment someone asked me to do for him. I gave that person two answers, one serious and very banal, while this was the other one.

I would say that the views in this report are not what I feel towards the subject matter. I loved making it sound serious though, with suggestions that divorce wouldn't exist if marriage didn't, most pre-nuptial contracts are most likely to be between children and they would marry once they sexually mature, to fool readers.
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I don't know what it is, and I won't attempt to put it to words, but I like number 7.
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i suppose i want to submit an entry, but I feel too lazy to do so atm so I tried compiling the opening sentences of many chapters in my old works in some nonsensical order to make the least sensible nonsensical monologue that will make up as the most pointless entry ever written.

now brace yourselves, i hope ya don't mind that I'm sabotaging this thread :D

Spoiler:


So here it goes. I think I'm going to do something different. Take the opening sentences of my randomly-chosen works from the past and try to make a story from it. Or add some other parts I think that will fit enough. It's kind of a random scramble thingy.

The goal of it was to make the least sensible nonsensical monologue.

Here I gave some of the things I've fapped to on this month, estimated by percentages. A young girl with a short black hair about the length of her chin, showed up upon the entrance, she's wearing a white T-shirt and brown jeans, she looked about 19 years of age, she's also very cute. Forget the place in heaven forever, you're now doomed to the deepest pits of hell. Now the academic activities were come to a halt until further notice.

I'm thankful enough that my feelings of reservation would make me held it up inside to this extent. A flashing scenery of the past. Go get a jersey or something and go hunt for your underage kids near the park bench. They said before, while experiencing a near-death moment, one of your most important memories would resurface again.

I wish I could go back to my room and watch the cosplay porn of idol Rika. A dream of the distant past, or the upcoming future? I'm losing control of myself with each passing day, the higher I've climbed up...the more I realized that there's no such thing as freedom for the one who stood beside the stars.

I moved towards the seat next to the walkway, extending my feet a bit further. As I dashed towards the stage frantically, I forgot to take a short glance over my toes. We've already come this far, haven't we? Why does this blissful moments have to end? Well what the fuck is going on here, the plot's moving too damn slow! I can no longer count how many times I had fired the slingshot at that time.

It's only a mere sense of duty and responsibility. Time, the force which governs us all..even though we're not really affected by it. Scraps of metal piles out before my sight, it was the result of our earlier onslaught. He assumed, that his opponent will never expected him to fight back in this condition, therefore it's a sure-win move.

At a glance it seems like an usual scenery when the corporate honcho goes to inform his right-hand man about something that disturbs him. It was Frederic Lancestor's last words, after blasting through his opponent with a high-density Proton Beam, picking up his gun he took a sideway glance toward the clouds of smoke which occurs from the explosion. This is Arata Shiozaki, 20 years old as for now, and I enjoy perverted stuff a bit too much.

Remember about the game we used to play ever since we're kids? Sometimes a reunion might sound difficult, especially when you've been parting in so long without good terms, Inspiration might come and go but Kurt Leibniz will always persevere on creating his WTF-inducing works.

This peculiar line was inspired from a sexually provocative music video that I've watched on the net, a groovy techno pop song with strong dance elements on it. I hate you, Sis. Because you made me feel deeply attached, then you just ignored me all of sudden.

A faint sound of footsteps could be heard in the early morning. In a quiet, peaceful city such as this, you could find a sense of relaxation. Some note first, this part is written after I was mostly healed from my current sickness, so I couldn't really immerse myself on what's really happening at that time. I still spent my time drinking a can of beer every week though, sometimes I need a those alcohol stimulants to boost my inspiration to some degree.

Loner eh, I wondered about that myself. People does tend to act so distant towards me and I can't seem to understand their mundane topics. But what am I to complain anyway?

He's going to help out in the stores, with a set wage paid, in addition of a spacious house where they will be treated kindly by the entire household. This is just a random writing made by someone who has ran out from all of his abnormal surge of inspiration.

First of all, I think the retelling of my friend's IRL story won't be done anytime soon since he's been offline since the last week, probably about his real-life issues related to the story he told me while we're chatting together privately on Psyke, one of the most popular instant messaging applications to date.

Let's begin this Episode with something random and nonsensical. I for particular, got there by scholarship program, proposed by my head teacher during junior high, second grade. This is the return to whence you came, towards the depths of your childhood.

Times when my body feels both hot and cold I believed in you, in your promise, in your love. I don't know what I'm searching for the rest of my life. I'll keep on going until my last breath. The weather is mostly hot or sometimes cold, due to the rain. By the time I called out to her name, she appears before me, rushing through the back seats to this place.

Jingles of the night heralds the transition between my conscious mind to the land of my dreams. It was soft and warm, genuine. I was awakened by the feel of morning breeze on my face. Where I got kicked hard as soon as I woke up. Okay, we're back to this part again. It seems I've tripped over something that feels like a log...lying flat face-down the grounds. Before my sight there lies only a view of pitch black darkness. I also have many questions in mind : what the heck were the fairies doing in that clearing?

Going through this forest along with the light spheres floating around the air, I obsessionally took a brief glance at my companion Lucian who's walking beside me. A thick scent of aromatic cappuccino fills up the lounge where I'm sitting out, this guildhouse has a really nice interior just like in these modern coffee shops.

Not the perverted ones though, I really wonder whether this kind of tactic would be effective on warding these beastful creatures.

What is the actual purpose of this adventure? A guy? I think there's something deep inside my memory that tries to forget the fact that this blond beauty was actually, a boy. Yeah I know this is stupid, but I don't care anyway. Well, i don't want my name to be associated with girls' love.

Although I have to admit that she's really cute and I just want to snuggle her...just like a younger sister. In this world, there were many kinds of legendary swords. There's a lot of consideration about when to choose your party members and how to utilize their strengths to your advantage. I don't really remember about it clearly.

In the past I asked her that question a few times, it seems that she tried to change the topic each time I tried to inquire about it. Did she tried to hide something from me? Anyway, what really surprises me is...how the hell did a mere toilet seat cover able to withstand the blows of such massive weapon? That night, I saw a strange dream I haven't had before.

I love hearing stories when I was still a child, even now these tales color my whole world, giving me the inspiration to look towards a brighter future. Inside this darkness, I felt an overpowering presence behind me, sending cold shivers down my spine. Holding my revolver, be prepared to open fire as soon as possible. I heard the voice of a young girl calling onto me, amidst this half-conscious state I am in. It feels like I've just awakened from this strange dream of seeing my past. It all begins within one night of pondering about my boundlessness of stupidity.

Though this time, it was me being my current self, watching the scenery that seems to belong in my past, when I was still a kid playing around in the house's courtyard. But still, I've got to finish the breakfast slowly, savoring each and every bite of this delicious meal for this morning, in addition of gulping the milk down slowly. Meanwhile, I remember one very important thing during my childhood. Even though they look youthful, their physique were much different than a mere adolescent girl; they're surprisingly well endowed despite their small build.

No...nooooo...I'm not a homosexual...I just like them because they're cute to the point I could really care less about gender. Wait, am I contradicting myself just before? Then as I tried to turn on the doorknob, there something which doesn't feel right. I have to admit that was a some kind of spectacular ventriloquism; how she could produce voices like that which seem to come from far away. without even moving her lips at all; it successfully distracted me for a moment.

Well, it's kind of useless for me though, since it requires lot of patience and talent to be able to master this complex weapon. Albeit faint, I could see the miniscule movements from the chest area of these labyrinth guards. Now that they already lost their homes, would they actually go by to become a hippie instead? Before he's able to finish his words, my hands flew around by reflex and managed to smash his body, making himself flew some yards down the place he's sitting at.

Far different from the other legendary swords, one which were crafted through the hands of a holy angel, one who had history so corrupted and dark no one dares to have a knowing of, or one simply made because of the intense hatred towards homosexuality and fruitcakes.

Yup, I'm basically recounting about the events that were happening earlier, and the details about myself fighting the Green Dragon were basically left out because the author was too lazy and uninspired in order to come up with a feasible explanation about it.

Here's a resolve made by so many adventurers out there, to fight everything that lies ahead, and becoming the best there ever was, but I was the one who had made a complete opposite decision of what many others do.

"It won't happen."

That's probably one of the few reasons why I kept on moving forward. Never before I felt so hopeless in my entire life; the entire feelings of pride and self-esteem had all but gone within this very moment. The baseball game held in the town square was called out from my favor. Yeah, I figured that I just have to apologize.

From when I was born, I'm having quite a difficulty to understand written words. The clashing sounds of two blunt weapons echoed across the guild's backyard. I usually practiced by taking off my sandals, letting the bare of my feet getting caressed and massaged by the gentleness of nature.

Though I guess...I might have been piling out quite a number of problems that needs to be done firsthand. Father told me, that there's much more to this life than what could be learned from the books alone.

Then she opened the palm of her left hand; that which the dragon crest was engraved, towards the sky. At a glance, it might seem to be just another city when humans and elves live together in peace; a bustling metropolis thriving in both commerce and industrial sectors.

At some occasions, life doesn't seem to have a point. Actually, I think based on his voice alone, he kind of reminds me of Jasmine. I felt a warm embrace coming from her; the grip from her hands were neither too rigid nor weak, it was just at the right amount.

The second, there's a thing which truly bugs me... A blond young man, attractive in appearance, with an older man that were basically looking like a slob; two of them sat together in the park bench near a greenhouse building.

There's people coming over to inquire whether did I belong in a group called the Sylvan Corps or whatever, seeing as I carried around a sheathed sword in my holster. It seems that I have to acquire a permit or something to carry around something around this sword's caliber; at the least I must pass a certain test or something...but I didn't really care anyway.

Once upon a time in Avalon, there was a thriving guild which hosts several great adventurers of the past timeline. Nah, I'm too lazy to explain about it. Just read the story. It wasn't that extravagant at all.

At most, it was a pretty modest dinner consisting of a stew with the mixture of many different kinds of ingredients which I hope could blend together; consisting mainly of a balanced proportion between meat and vegetables, also with a various herbs as a seasoning; small dosage of ginger, mint and chamomile to add some flavor, along with the essential curry powder to boot.

To be honest, I really had no idea about the sea travels. Being locked away from the outside world in this solitary shell, devoid of all common sense and laws of society. I hope we'll still have a chance to meet again in the future. After reaching the nearest save point before the last boss, I used the 'Tent' item to restore my party members' HP and MP. PreLazion is the name of that gaming console I'm playing with just before. Contrary to my hopeful expectations, the bus ride wasn't that smooth at all.

There I remember seeing a really energetic girl with her hair tied back into a ponytail, the visage of her reddish-purple hair that sways along with her movements were forever burned to my memories, and I could also see her athletic physique and posture being portrayed clearly through her tight gym suits, the fluid motions of her breasts bouncing around in addition of the elegant and refined movement her shapely legs made.

The meal was pretty great.

Within my sight, everywhere seems to be adorned in red color it made my eyes hurt. Three of them were oftentimes a subject for crossdressing and all of them looks amazingly cute on these clothes. My body feels insanely hot, and my skin felt incredibly itchy that I want to scratch it with my nails so hard to the point I won't really care if it would permanently scrap it.

It seems that he quickly took off the clothing he wore earlier as soon he heard Touka's voice from outside his stall. It was the sound of rustling leaves between these meadow fields which garnered all of my consciousness, focusing it throughout one point where I would stare at it with full intent.

The beauty of which my eyes could give me by witnessing all these wonderful things; a sense of total freedom attained just by looking back onto the portrayed scenery along with the background sounds, which further elevates the sense of immersion throughout the scenes.

You seriously didn't think that everything written in H mangas were true, right sis?

"No, she's an elephant."

"Duda Dudu Didi Didi Didi Dudududu Didididi."

I have no talents at all. And no I'm not the author, I'm just the narrator of this chapter.

Welcome. I am but another nameless narrator featured in this chapter. And if you're asking me why I could clearly see what's going on inside that one class before, it's because the entire class was entirely walled with transparent glass it's easy enough to see what's happening. I stood silently on the back of the classroom, it was far different than the first one I've encountered with zombies as students and the devils as teachers.

The air pollution was just so disgusting and I especially hate making eye contacts with each and every unpleasant bypassers even if I'm just trying to get into the nearest convenience store just to grab some daily necessities. In other words, it will somehow reduce the confusion, eh?

I think it's pretty much the only reason all of us finally end up at this place, possibly based upon a nonsensical quest to find a place that seem to belong within the world of fiction.

Call me a hipster if you will, oh and if I might add again...lazy hipster would probably fit things out a lot more. You know, it's a given that you won't succeed in this life unless you tried out some of these underhanded methods, and furthermore – able to get away with it because even the laws won't be able to reach out their unforgiving hands to you at all.

I've heard the voices coming from inside my thought while I was taking the bath, trying to remember the gist of my own past; the realization of everything that had happened way back, by then I'll just hope that everything will come to reveal itself.

Sometimes I wonder, why am I so attracted to the prospect of pursuing the artistic endeavors? But you see, it probably won't make a single difference in this world we live in, unless someone dared to convey it openly. A pair of nipples. Cliched quote of the day. It was one day in some afternoon when I walked towards the convenience store once again, just like the last time and the time before that. Yes, that was the cruel fate which I had to endure, an excruciating amount of pain from the times of youth.

This troubled mind. Allow me to introduce myself, I came by the name of Narrator L. It was one of the moments when my heart were filled wtih a kind of warm and cozy feeling throughout the day. Why do I take it, nonetheless? It was quite the normal scenery, contrary to my expectations, usually you would expect something outrageously extravagant upon encountering the 'Ten Thousand Nipples' phrase.

It all begins with nothingness, then there was some pepperoni ass cheeks that appeared in midst of nowhere wearing diapers and chasing after some portable titties running throughout the forest of dildos.

Once upon a time, there lies a bunch of lonesome loldongs that stretched itself from our very mother earth into the nether ends of our universe; it spans through the milky way into the nearest crab nebula, marking the standpoint of another way to perform sexual intercourse with bunch of rabid crabs gathering in the midway that's particularly full of titties.

It might be a some sort of sick friggin molasses trying to catch on fire by having sex with bunch of turds coming out from Shrek's butthole. What's the main problem actually weren't the frequent usage of bar chords to the point it made my thumb sore. I'm merely just a nameless person who likes to write on occasions.

First and foremost, I learn things because I truly love my current subject, not just a mere 'like'. Here's one or two things which I had in mind. Ah this man dies in the fifth episode after being stabbed by a werewolf in this zombie form.

I saw a solitary figure standing in front of the mirror, a figure with posture so weak, it might collapse after being blown away by the breezy wind. I am a pristine entity that's all cleared of vice pertaining the dirty deeds of sexual copulation, and now I would freely say that I'm thoroughly adore my own emotionless existence like those of a bacteria or even mere excrement – for I am free of these prejudices that only a mere stalwart bloke would possibly resort as a firsthand feasible solution.

And that girl, she's the one currently speaking to me; her glances fixated towards me were as sharp as knife - piercing through my heart, but at the same time it left me somewhat tantalized. I know that feeling full well, the kind of inconvenience one have to follow through for the sake of obtaining their desired companionship.

What is the meaning of becoming an idealist? I thank you all for reading thus far, now it's time for me to turn on the new page towards a brighter life.

What once seen as a completely blank text document was no more, when I decided to write my thoughts inside it by the form of paragraphs, words, characters, and much more else of them. And within this constructed paradigms from what was originally a blank slate of thought, it will soon laid upon the foundation, in order to write my own reality, just like the story in general I'm telling you before.

The End


on a site note, i probably can even murder or poison someone with that writing! :D