[Summer 2014] Uki Uki Suru
3
leonard267
FAKKU Non-Writer
This entry is based on high_time's magnum opus of sorts:
https://www.fakku.net/forums/writing-and-fanfiction/halloween-2013-doki-doki-suru
I would like to ruin your day by demanding you to skim through it first then read through my entry.
https://www.fakku.net/forums/writing-and-fanfiction/halloween-2013-doki-doki-suru
I would like to ruin your day by demanding you to skim through it first then read through my entry.
2
leonard267
FAKKU Non-Writer
Introduction:
https://www.fakku.net/forums/writing-and-fanfiction/halloween-2013-doki-doki-suru
Doki Doki Suru roughly translates from Japanese to mean the uneasy feelings brought about by dread or nervousness and it is often mistaken for the feelings of anticipation or excitement. Having read it myself, I feel that the title is ironically analogous to the feelings I have right now attempting to make sense out of it.
A mere glance through its text is potentially life changing, a testament to the power of the imagery this text evokes. Just the mere thought of it is enough to make my eyes water and my bowels and other muscles at the bottom end of my torso lose function. It is unbelievable that the story is set in the most humble of places nestled far away from the troubles of the world.
Doki Doki Suru is a story of a farmer and his encounters with love whilst toiling in the fields in the former Dutch East Indies. Belying his unobtrusive exterior lies a man with extraordinary abilities that are beyond the realm of comprehension! It is indeed not an exaggeration to claim that this magnum opus of high_time's is mind blowing.
The rewrite of Doki Doki Suru aims to make this masterpiece more accessible to the masses due to its incomprehensible nature. I hope my good friend and author of Doki Doki Suru, high_time, would appreciate this effort. What on earth was I thinking offering to do this?!
Story Proper:
Far away from the hustle and bustle of the sprawling concrete jungles of the modern urban cities of the former Dutch East Indies and safely nestled in the peace and tranquility that is the strange and exotic countryside lived a farmer who looked unobtrusive and rather unassuming.
His job was tend to plant the seedlings, tend to the crops, reap the harvest and sell it to whoever who wish to purchase the harvest under the supervision of his ancient and near-decrepit grandfather who owned the farm he was working at. As circumstances would have it, he was poised to inherit his grandfather's mantle as owner of that farm. However, in recent years thanks to innovations in farming technology and the inability of his grandfather to keep up with the times, the farm encountered financial problems.
Driven to desperation, the farmer's grandfather decided to grow crops that would fetch a high price in the black market, a rather euphemistic way to say that those crops are raw materials for mind altering substances. For those who don't get it, in recent years, our hero is made to plant dope. It was of course not without consequence. While what happened to that farmer was exactly unknown, as the days went by, it became more and more obvious that he was losing his senses.
Yet, he managed to keep a diary of sorts of which he named "Doki Doki Suru". The title of that diary was a language alien to his native land which meant feelings of nervousness, anxiety or dread. At first glance, it made little to no sense with fantastic scenarios being fleshed out in grisly detail. Ironically, the title of that diary was an apt description of the feelings of those who were made to re-read his diary.
Here is a summary of the contents of that diary on a certain entry:
1. The farmer threw an object which he claimed to be some sex toy. It unfortunately hit his grandfather who also happened to be his employer. That resulted in him being either unconscious or dead. His body was used as a scarecrow though.
2. The farmer hoped for herds of cows. Instead aliens from outer space paid obeisance to that scarecrow of a unconscious body before abducting it and leaving a toilet in its place.
3. The toilet transforms, so he claims, into his fiancée who masochistically obliges to engage in some hanky-panky with the farmer.
4. Many other onlookers looked on for what they saw was two persons flailing on the ground like beached fish. They appeared to be pleasuring themselves at the sight of it though the farmer claimed that they do not possess reproductive organs.
5. He made mention about the size of his manhood and his virility. He claimed that his manhood was so large that it caused aeroplanes to crash, bombs to detonate and botched military exercises.
6. The rest of the entry describes in detail intercourse with a giant cockroach. Some who read that diary entry are of the belief that the cockroach was actually his fiancée, others believe that it was one of the victims he kidnapped.
7. It was suggested that he cut the cockroach up, removed its heart and ate in a flourish with the mind-boggling claim that with that act, he would be bound with the cockroach forever till death do them part.
For those who are interested in the contents of the diary in full, here is the entry. Attempts to interpret what happened in actuality are in italics enclosed in spoilers:
The day started with me rinsing my face with sulphuric acid and wiping whatever that splattered on my pants with a chainsaw. While it did much to rouse me, I felt that I needed some exercise before I start my day properly. So, I decided to fling a few sex toys out of my window with all of my might to release the tension built up in my muscles caused by many hours of sleep and at the same time, get rid of that rubbish.
It was then I heard a cry and a dull thud. While I did not mind the commotion that much, I ambled out of my quarters anyway only to see old man (unconscious or dead, I don't know) lying on his back face upwards with my sex toy in his mouth. I supposed that it was my fault though for mindlessly throwing that toy out of the window without minding the consequences. Still, I had to make the best out of this wretched situation. Should I call an ambulance or seek medical help? What an unproductive waste of time and money! His body is better off as a scarecrow!
I was rather pleased at that decision. While the scarecrow of my grandfather's body did do its job in scaring the crows, I hoped that it could attract cows that tend to ruin the crops with their stamping and chewing of the crops. Like any farmer, I wish to see the cows copulate with each other to produce calves and I was certain that they would find the scarecrow arousing. That strangely didn't happen.
What happened instead was a group of humanoids that looked like aliens to me swarming all over that scarecrow. They arrived in strange vehicles that looked like UFOs. After a lot of screaming in their alien language and gesticulating, they took away the scarecrow and erected what looked like a toilet in its place!
I was dismayed for a while seeing that my scarecrow was replaced with a toilet until I saw a dazzling woman emerge from it. She was as angelic as an angel, as beautiful as a beauty and, as I was to find out, as slutty as a slut. Like all angels, like all beauties and like all sluts, I thought she was there with the solemn goal of delivering me from pain and suffering.
I made my way forwards only to see her shedding off her clothes, alike to an insect moulting. Before I knew it, she became an insect, a cockroach to be precise! Its feelers and its top four legs were flailing aimlessly whilst its two legs propped up its entire body in a very sexually provocative manner. I was as aroused as ever and flung myself on her.
As the cockroach and I were tightly locked in embrace, enjoying the tingling and exhilarating sensation of my skin and her exoskeleton touching each other, I noticed that there were onlookers seeing us getting intimate. I didn't care for I was deep in ecstasy.
I swore that some of the onlookers were rather aroused by what they saw and I believed they are fondling their loins at the sight of me and the cockroach. The onlookers were most likely their neighbours. I have seen them at toilet and they appear not to have any genitals so I thought that that exercise of loin-fondling was pretty pointless.
Those onlookers were so excited by my display of love that they begun foaming out of every pore, cavity, aperture and hole in their bodies, especially their mouths. So eager were they to commemorate this very moment that they set off a rocket into the sky only for to blow up mid-air into a gargantuan plume of smoke that blocked off the rays of the sun. It was an unforgettable sight.
Forgive me for not being modest, but I think I deserved that adulation. I am after all the most virile and sexually appealing person in the village with my large appendage between my legs dwarfing all the others. At one point, my manhood grew so large that it pierced the skies. No woman, cockroach or man can resist my allure as I run around the fields with nary a shred of clothing, my well-built physique for all to see.
How lucky that cockroach is to be the centre of my attention and the object of my carnal desires! Never minding the onlookers, the rockets fired and the mouth foaming, we continued our epic romp, moving from corner to corner whilst we did it for all to see. However, most of the action took place behind the closed doors of my quarters.
During the long hours of us having each other as company and satisfying our near-insatiable lust, I came slowly to the realisation that I am deeply in love with the cockroach and I would like to be with it forever. Yet, even though they can withstand high levels of radiation, existed ever since the time of the dinosaurs and are hard to kill, cockroaches don't live long. Even the species with the longest lifespans die within 2 years. How unfair for star crossed lovers such as us to be parted by the cruel hands of fate! What a shame that such everlasting love is not everlasting! I don't want it to end.
I did the only reasonable thing for us to be together forever. It has to be with me. It has to be in me. So, just as the cockroach took my heart, I did likewise to it. Literally. As I chomped down bits of its heart, I felt nothing but bliss, knowing that we would be together for eternity.
Having shared the happiest moments of my life, I end my entry in the hope that everyone would feel the same, the sensation of being "Doki Doki Suru".
[spoil]Investigators have placed the farmer into custody. He is under suspicion for being responsible for the disappearance of quite a few persons. This disturbing entry implies that he partook in murder and cannibalism. Interestingly enough, the farmer lived on a diet of offal especially that of goat and pig hearts.
As this report is being written, the farmer is placed in a strait jacket as part of a therapy to restore his sanity. There are many, myself included, hoping that the therapy would include physical torture.
https://www.fakku.net/forums/writing-and-fanfiction/halloween-2013-doki-doki-suru
Doki Doki Suru roughly translates from Japanese to mean the uneasy feelings brought about by dread or nervousness and it is often mistaken for the feelings of anticipation or excitement. Having read it myself, I feel that the title is ironically analogous to the feelings I have right now attempting to make sense out of it.
A mere glance through its text is potentially life changing, a testament to the power of the imagery this text evokes. Just the mere thought of it is enough to make my eyes water and my bowels and other muscles at the bottom end of my torso lose function. It is unbelievable that the story is set in the most humble of places nestled far away from the troubles of the world.
Doki Doki Suru is a story of a farmer and his encounters with love whilst toiling in the fields in the former Dutch East Indies. Belying his unobtrusive exterior lies a man with extraordinary abilities that are beyond the realm of comprehension! It is indeed not an exaggeration to claim that this magnum opus of high_time's is mind blowing.
The rewrite of Doki Doki Suru aims to make this masterpiece more accessible to the masses due to its incomprehensible nature. I hope my good friend and author of Doki Doki Suru, high_time, would appreciate this effort. What on earth was I thinking offering to do this?!
Story Proper:
Far away from the hustle and bustle of the sprawling concrete jungles of the modern urban cities of the former Dutch East Indies and safely nestled in the peace and tranquility that is the strange and exotic countryside lived a farmer who looked unobtrusive and rather unassuming.
His job was tend to plant the seedlings, tend to the crops, reap the harvest and sell it to whoever who wish to purchase the harvest under the supervision of his ancient and near-decrepit grandfather who owned the farm he was working at. As circumstances would have it, he was poised to inherit his grandfather's mantle as owner of that farm. However, in recent years thanks to innovations in farming technology and the inability of his grandfather to keep up with the times, the farm encountered financial problems.
Driven to desperation, the farmer's grandfather decided to grow crops that would fetch a high price in the black market, a rather euphemistic way to say that those crops are raw materials for mind altering substances. For those who don't get it, in recent years, our hero is made to plant dope. It was of course not without consequence. While what happened to that farmer was exactly unknown, as the days went by, it became more and more obvious that he was losing his senses.
Yet, he managed to keep a diary of sorts of which he named "Doki Doki Suru". The title of that diary was a language alien to his native land which meant feelings of nervousness, anxiety or dread. At first glance, it made little to no sense with fantastic scenarios being fleshed out in grisly detail. Ironically, the title of that diary was an apt description of the feelings of those who were made to re-read his diary.
Here is a summary of the contents of that diary on a certain entry:
1. The farmer threw an object which he claimed to be some sex toy. It unfortunately hit his grandfather who also happened to be his employer. That resulted in him being either unconscious or dead. His body was used as a scarecrow though.
2. The farmer hoped for herds of cows. Instead aliens from outer space paid obeisance to that scarecrow of a unconscious body before abducting it and leaving a toilet in its place.
3. The toilet transforms, so he claims, into his fiancée who masochistically obliges to engage in some hanky-panky with the farmer.
4. Many other onlookers looked on for what they saw was two persons flailing on the ground like beached fish. They appeared to be pleasuring themselves at the sight of it though the farmer claimed that they do not possess reproductive organs.
5. He made mention about the size of his manhood and his virility. He claimed that his manhood was so large that it caused aeroplanes to crash, bombs to detonate and botched military exercises.
6. The rest of the entry describes in detail intercourse with a giant cockroach. Some who read that diary entry are of the belief that the cockroach was actually his fiancée, others believe that it was one of the victims he kidnapped.
7. It was suggested that he cut the cockroach up, removed its heart and ate in a flourish with the mind-boggling claim that with that act, he would be bound with the cockroach forever till death do them part.
For those who are interested in the contents of the diary in full, here is the entry. Attempts to interpret what happened in actuality are in italics enclosed in spoilers:
The day started with me rinsing my face with sulphuric acid and wiping whatever that splattered on my pants with a chainsaw. While it did much to rouse me, I felt that I needed some exercise before I start my day properly. So, I decided to fling a few sex toys out of my window with all of my might to release the tension built up in my muscles caused by many hours of sleep and at the same time, get rid of that rubbish.
Spoiler:
It was then I heard a cry and a dull thud. While I did not mind the commotion that much, I ambled out of my quarters anyway only to see old man (unconscious or dead, I don't know) lying on his back face upwards with my sex toy in his mouth. I supposed that it was my fault though for mindlessly throwing that toy out of the window without minding the consequences. Still, I had to make the best out of this wretched situation. Should I call an ambulance or seek medical help? What an unproductive waste of time and money! His body is better off as a scarecrow!
Spoiler:
I was rather pleased at that decision. While the scarecrow of my grandfather's body did do its job in scaring the crows, I hoped that it could attract cows that tend to ruin the crops with their stamping and chewing of the crops. Like any farmer, I wish to see the cows copulate with each other to produce calves and I was certain that they would find the scarecrow arousing. That strangely didn't happen.
What happened instead was a group of humanoids that looked like aliens to me swarming all over that scarecrow. They arrived in strange vehicles that looked like UFOs. After a lot of screaming in their alien language and gesticulating, they took away the scarecrow and erected what looked like a toilet in its place!
Spoiler:
I was dismayed for a while seeing that my scarecrow was replaced with a toilet until I saw a dazzling woman emerge from it. She was as angelic as an angel, as beautiful as a beauty and, as I was to find out, as slutty as a slut. Like all angels, like all beauties and like all sluts, I thought she was there with the solemn goal of delivering me from pain and suffering.
I made my way forwards only to see her shedding off her clothes, alike to an insect moulting. Before I knew it, she became an insect, a cockroach to be precise! Its feelers and its top four legs were flailing aimlessly whilst its two legs propped up its entire body in a very sexually provocative manner. I was as aroused as ever and flung myself on her.
Spoiler:
As the cockroach and I were tightly locked in embrace, enjoying the tingling and exhilarating sensation of my skin and her exoskeleton touching each other, I noticed that there were onlookers seeing us getting intimate. I didn't care for I was deep in ecstasy.
I swore that some of the onlookers were rather aroused by what they saw and I believed they are fondling their loins at the sight of me and the cockroach. The onlookers were most likely their neighbours. I have seen them at toilet and they appear not to have any genitals so I thought that that exercise of loin-fondling was pretty pointless.
Spoiler:
Those onlookers were so excited by my display of love that they begun foaming out of every pore, cavity, aperture and hole in their bodies, especially their mouths. So eager were they to commemorate this very moment that they set off a rocket into the sky only for to blow up mid-air into a gargantuan plume of smoke that blocked off the rays of the sun. It was an unforgettable sight.
Spoiler:
Forgive me for not being modest, but I think I deserved that adulation. I am after all the most virile and sexually appealing person in the village with my large appendage between my legs dwarfing all the others. At one point, my manhood grew so large that it pierced the skies. No woman, cockroach or man can resist my allure as I run around the fields with nary a shred of clothing, my well-built physique for all to see.
Spoiler:
How lucky that cockroach is to be the centre of my attention and the object of my carnal desires! Never minding the onlookers, the rockets fired and the mouth foaming, we continued our epic romp, moving from corner to corner whilst we did it for all to see. However, most of the action took place behind the closed doors of my quarters.
Spoiler:
During the long hours of us having each other as company and satisfying our near-insatiable lust, I came slowly to the realisation that I am deeply in love with the cockroach and I would like to be with it forever. Yet, even though they can withstand high levels of radiation, existed ever since the time of the dinosaurs and are hard to kill, cockroaches don't live long. Even the species with the longest lifespans die within 2 years. How unfair for star crossed lovers such as us to be parted by the cruel hands of fate! What a shame that such everlasting love is not everlasting! I don't want it to end.
Spoiler:
I did the only reasonable thing for us to be together forever. It has to be with me. It has to be in me. So, just as the cockroach took my heart, I did likewise to it. Literally. As I chomped down bits of its heart, I felt nothing but bliss, knowing that we would be together for eternity.
Having shared the happiest moments of my life, I end my entry in the hope that everyone would feel the same, the sensation of being "Doki Doki Suru".
[spoil]Investigators have placed the farmer into custody. He is under suspicion for being responsible for the disappearance of quite a few persons. This disturbing entry implies that he partook in murder and cannibalism. Interestingly enough, the farmer lived on a diet of offal especially that of goat and pig hearts.
As this report is being written, the farmer is placed in a strait jacket as part of a therapy to restore his sanity. There are many, myself included, hoping that the therapy would include physical torture.
3
uki uki? uki uki!
i think I commented the bits of it in the lounge or some sort. it's nicely written and in some parts I find it to be really funny :D
well done. good work for putting up with making sense of all things that brought torment to your mind :)
i think I commented the bits of it in the lounge or some sort. it's nicely written and in some parts I find it to be really funny :D
well done. good work for putting up with making sense of all things that brought torment to your mind :)
1
leonard267
FAKKU Non-Writer
high_time wrote...
uki uki? uki uki!i think I commented the bits of it in the lounge or some sort. it's nicely written and in some parts I find it to be really funny :D
well done. good work for putting up with making sense of all things that brought torment to your mind :)
Hopefully I would get to your work in time. I see myself becoming rather busy in the next few days. Care to point out how the contents of Uki Uki Suru differ from Doki Doki Suru?
I promised you last October that I would come up with this. Sorry that it took 10 months.
1
leonard267 wrote...
Hopefully I would get to your work in time. I see myself becoming rather busy in the next few days. Care to point out how the contents of Uki Uki Suru differ from Doki Doki Suru?
I promised you last October that I would come up with this. Sorry that it took 10 months.
maybe just the skips of some details, other than that, it's basically the entire thing being made sense of.
don't worry 'bout it, I also like to take my time on doing things.
2
DatYuriThough
Goddess of Nature
I gave it a read. Ignoring my growing concerns over how a man can be coherent enough to write that story, but (from what I presume) not have any mental stability, I actually enjoyed your comments into what high had written (even if it was only a translation? Correct me if I'm wrong, I have already begun to purge the details from my mind) since some of the one liners you gave and the commentary over what was trying to be conveyed was humorous. Albeit slightly worrying if that is what the author was trying (and horrendously failing at) to convey.
In any case, well done Leonard.
Oh and I agree, I hope some physical harm to the farmer did come to pass. Simply because I feel a man who decides to pin up a relative so he can be used to scare off crows and attract cows is beyond help and deserves the most amount of pain modern torture methods can achieve...I think reading this has made me a Sadist, I may need counselling now.
In any case, well done Leonard.
Oh and I agree, I hope some physical harm to the farmer did come to pass. Simply because I feel a man who decides to pin up a relative so he can be used to scare off crows and attract cows is beyond help and deserves the most amount of pain modern torture methods can achieve...I think reading this has made me a Sadist, I may need counselling now.
2
Xenon
FAKKU Writer
Okay, after taking the time to revisit Doki Doki Suru and now read through this analysis, I have been blessed with clarity and resurfacing memories previously repressed that help me to properly assess his story and this piece's worth in the eyes of the general public that I surely don't speak for:
Now then, let's get on with the commentary, shall we?
I think my favorite sentence is the very first because of how facetiously long-winded it is.
That first part might need re-arranging of the words.
You win bonus points for these being funny, though.
Spoiler:
Now then, let's get on with the commentary, shall we?
I think my favorite sentence is the very first because of how facetiously long-winded it is.
His job was tend to plant the seedlings, tend to the crops, reap the harvest and sell it to whoever who wish to purchase the harvest under the supervision of his ancient and near-decrepit grandfather who owned the farm he was working at.
That first part might need re-arranging of the words.
7. It was suggested that he cut the cockroach up, removed its heart and ate in a flourish with the mind-boggling claim that with that act, he would be bound with the cockroach forever till death do them[color=red]y[/color] part.
That didn't happen.
The farmer is lying.
He is talking writing gibberish.
Investigators have placed the farmer into custody. He is under suspicion for being responsible for the disappearance of quite a few persons. This disturbing entry implies that he partook in murder and cannibalism. Interestingly enough, the farmer lived on a diet of offal especially that of goat and pig hearts.
As this report is being written, the farmer is placed in a strait jacket as part of a therapy to restore his sanity. There are many, myself included, hoping that the therapy would include physical torture.
The farmer is lying.
He is talking writing gibberish.
Investigators have placed the farmer into custody. He is under suspicion for being responsible for the disappearance of quite a few persons. This disturbing entry implies that he partook in murder and cannibalism. Interestingly enough, the farmer lived on a diet of offal especially that of goat and pig hearts.
As this report is being written, the farmer is placed in a strait jacket as part of a therapy to restore his sanity. There are many, myself included, hoping that the therapy would include physical torture.
You win bonus points for these being funny, though.
1
Spoiler:
Simple clean intro. It eased explaining what to expect later on.
That didn't happen.
The farmer is lying.
He is talking writing gibberish.
I liked the short and quick anecdotes, reminded me of Brooker.
Investigators have placed the farmer into custody. He is under suspicion for being responsible for the disappearance of quite a few persons. This disturbing entry implies that he partook in murder and cannibalism. Interestingly enough, the farmer lived on a diet of offal especially that of goat and pig hearts.
As this report is being written, the farmer is placed in a strait jacket as part of a therapy to restore his sanity. There are many, myself included, hoping that the therapy would include physical torture.
As this report is being written, the farmer is placed in a strait jacket as part of a therapy to restore his sanity. There are many, myself included, hoping that the therapy would include physical torture.
For a moment I imagined a news reporter under heavy rain, with a misers face and a complete loss of hope saying that to a camera under an umbrella's shelter. The reporter's mind would probably be on how he would most likely be stuck on minimum wage because his rival coworker has sex with the boss. Meanwhile, as he finishes the final paragraph before being cut off, he grows bitter and wishes ill for others. The umbrella mentioned previously also has a major franchise's logo and the station will have to pay a fee for it's publicity later on, which will get the reporter fried once again.
Well done, leo, I riked.
0
leonard267
FAKKU Non-Writer
Shikinokami wrote...
Spoiler:
Simple clean intro. It eased explaining what to expect later on.
That didn't happen.
The farmer is lying.
He is talking writing gibberish.
I liked the short and quick anecdotes, reminded me of Brooker.
Investigators have placed the farmer into custody. He is under suspicion for being responsible for the disappearance of quite a few persons. This disturbing entry implies that he partook in murder and cannibalism. Interestingly enough, the farmer lived on a diet of offal especially that of goat and pig hearts.
As this report is being written, the farmer is placed in a strait jacket as part of a therapy to restore his sanity. There are many, myself included, hoping that the therapy would include physical torture.
As this report is being written, the farmer is placed in a strait jacket as part of a therapy to restore his sanity. There are many, myself included, hoping that the therapy would include physical torture.
For a moment I imagined a news reporter under heavy rain, with a misers face and a complete loss of hope saying that to a camera under an umbrella's shelter. The reporter's mind would probably be on how he would most likely be stuck on minimum wage because his rival coworker has sex with the boss. Meanwhile, as he finishes the final paragraph before being cut off, he grows bitter and wishes ill for others. The umbrella mentioned previously also has a major franchise's logo and the station will have to pay a fee for it's publicity later on, which will get the reporter fried once again.
Well done, leo, I riked.
This story has some basis in truth.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3017682/Entire-town-Tangerang-gets-high-marijuana-fumes-Indonesian-police-burn-three-ton-pile-drug.html
The queerest thing is, this happened after I wrote the story!