The Mindless (Not official title)

Well, the writing is going quite well. 2 stories, 1 going well, 1 Damien believes is impossible.

Well..... I guess I have to explain. See, I had this great Idea. It popped in my head when I was dreaming. Here's the main plot. Mostly it included me, my fanily and my friends. But I'll have to alter all our names for protection from H***a xD

here's the start of the story:










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"Happy Birthday!"

Everyone was downstairs, singing Happy birthday. I didn't even want to come to this stupid birthday... I don't even know who is the lucky birthday girl. I'm in a cabin in the woods, but not so deep inside that I wouldn't find my way back to the city... The cabin is fairly large. About twice as large as an American home. The road back to the city was dirty and muddy... no choice but to stay here in this damp, dirty room.

Oh, I forgot to introduce myself. The name's Michael. Michael Anthony. Born on May 16, 1990. I'm just your ordinary teon-going-to-college kid you can see everyday. I'm interested in stuff the same as the people around my age. Cars/Girls and even the dreaded exams.

Enough about me, lets talk what is happening right now. I cuddle myself together like that "L" guy from some Asian cartoon, thinking this position could actually help me think.... Sherlock Holmes did this too, so you really can't blame me.

Downstairs was so noisy, relatives and families laughing, eating and drinking. Just hving a good time on some relatives birthday. A relative that I haven't met... In any way. Okay, I guess the reason i'm staying in this damp, dirty room is because I only know one person downstairs excluding my family. My Aunt. She's a nice aunt that's 34 but still looks like around 20-something. She's a smoker, but not an addict. Just a stick here and there, usually when she's nervous.

So I decided to go downstairs. I open the door, looking to the left and right. The upstairs was nothing special. It had 6 rooms, 1 was a bathroom.... I wonder how they take their bath. Do they fight for their right to use it first like those in the family shows I see in TV? Like hell I care about someone bathing, so I went down.

The living room was large, with people standing and talking to each other. I saw my mom watching TV with some relative, my dad talking to some old guys, and my Aunt sitting with her purse on her lap, sipping some cold drink.

I decided to go outside. Moving through people in a house without knowing who they are can unnerve me. It feels like they're looking down on me like i'm some uninvited guest. But it's just my imgaination so I hurriedly walked and found the Door to the outside. Some kids were playing outside. A girl was chasing this boy whose clothes looked like a mini-clown. complete with bowtie and funny large shoes. it makes me wonder how he could run so fast.

I walked towards the back of the house and saw.... a door. A door leading towards the back of house.

'That's strange' I thought. Since noone is in the back, I assumed that it was supposed to be locked. I opened the door and went inside, ending up in the kitchen. Then my eyes widened. The maids inside the kitchen were knocked out. I hurriedly kneeled next to one of them.

"Hey, hey!" I shook her violently "Are you okay?! Who did this?!". No answer. Suddenly, a scream pierced through the walls of the house. Being a guy, I hurriedly went inside the living room. The people that were standing a minute ago. Most of them were now on the floor. Their either dead or unconscious. I can't find out, because there was a black man wearing a black T-shirt, black pants and black leather shoes. His build was pretty bulked, but not enough to restrain his movements. he was holding a 2x4, and it was raised to my mom. She was the one who screamed as she tried to protect herself. But when he striked, it got through her arms and it hit her head.... hard.

Suddenly, instinct to protect my family suddenly kicked in. I ran towards the man and punched my right hand to hit his face... And my hand hurted. It felt like punching a log. But I didn't mind for as soon as I punched him, I jumped over the couch and held my mom in my arms.

"Mom! Mom! Mom, wake up!"

"She is not waking up" The man suddenly said

I turned to the man, anger, hate and fear filling me up

"WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?!" I screamed at him.

"...because it is needed"

And with that statement, he raised the 2x4 and swinged it down while I raised my arms to guard against it. It hitted my arm. My mom was physically weak. No wonder the 2x4 went through her guard. But this guys strength is no joke. With one hand, he made me feel like my hands were gonna come off.... in other words, it hurted like hell and I dropped my guard.

And the man was preparing to strike the second final blow to my head.





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I don't have a title so.... yeah, that's only temporary

Anyways, with three titles, I was worried I might neglect one of them, though they're all doing good for now...

So I ask you, If that first chapter was awesome, tell me. Because if it's not good, I'll have this topic deleted by a Mod/Admin. Thanks =D


High School Fic Chapter 5: 7% (Goddamn is it slow)

AMG X Naruto Chapter 1: 60% (Well, it's short. What did you expect?)

The Mindless Chapter 2: 0% (In my mind, it's already done. But It's not written yet so.... yeah. 0%)

2nd chapter... Read it and weep.


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He swung the 2x4 down towards me when....



SPLASH!



Water hitted his head. the wood suddenly stopped 3inches away from my face. I scrambled to my left and looked beyond the black man. Behind him was my aunt, holding a... water gun?

"Aunt! RUN! This guy is seriously strong!" I yelled.

But she didn't move, nor did the man. What felt like an eternity of standing, the man finally looked behind him and stared at my aunt. Suddenly, he dropped to his knees and screamed while holding his head like he was having a dangerously hurting headache. A few more moments, the man stood up and looked at my aunt. She lowered the watergun and the man approached her, wood still in his hand.

"Aunt! What the hell are you doing! RUN!!!"

But she didn't move an inch. Finally, the man was in front of her.

'goddammit legs, MOVE!' I thought. But the shock from the 2x4 hitting my hand finally reached my legs. I can't move. My Auntie was gonna be killed in front of me.... I can't move, not even an inch...

'MOVE! MOVE MOVE MOVE!!!!'

I grab this stick and I hit my legs.

That did the trick.

I suddenly crouched and dashed towards the man as he raised his arm and... offered a handshake?!

I stopped my dash and looked at my Aunt. She was smiling at him as she took the hand.

'What the hell is going on?!'

"Thank You. Whatever that water is, it did the trick" The man said.

"No problem. Now how about we get out of here" Aunt said.

Totally ignored, I ran in front of her and shook her "Aunt! What the hell is happening! Who is that black man and what is the deal with that Watergun!"

I asked in one breathing. But my aunt just looked at me. He turned to the black man and said "On second thought, do you mind helping my nephew escape? I'll give you both the recipe for the water" she quickly dug inside her purse and tugged out two paper. She gave it to us.

My questions were still answered, so I tried again. As I opened my mouth, she said "If we meet again, Michael, i'll answer all your questions. But right now, trust this man and go towards the city. Barricade yourself and don't try to find your friends. I'm afraid they might have been touched too."

"Touched? What the hell are you talking about?! This is fucking crazy! What is this 'water recipe'?! Who is he?! What is he!" I pointed at the man who is watching all of this "What about Mom! And Dad! I gotta get Mom and Dad out of here first!"



SLAP



My cheeks hurt. wait... what happened? oh, my aunt slapped me.

"Get a hold of yourself, Michael. I'll take care of your Mom and Dad, so go now. Take this"

She handed me a watergun.

"use it sparingly on people who try to attack you. They may look normal, but they act like zombies. Don't let them touch your skin. I they touch you, you'll turn into one of them."

"Aunt..."

"Go now, Mike. If you stay longer, this cabin might get surrounded by them."

"..."

I said nothing more.

"Come on, little dude. Let's get out of here and find ourselves a clean building" Said the man. I followed him out the door.

"Oh, and Mike?"

I looked back

"What?

"Try not to lose your sanity. I won't recognize you when you're a mindless freak"

"..."

"Also, while you're weaving your way through the city, try to gather the things on the list on that piece of paper. It's the only thing capable of saving your life, so don't lose it..."

"..."

I turned and ran after the black man, Paper in my pocket and the gun on my left.

I swear I heard my aunt say something else....

I think it was...




"Trust Noone"

Chapter 2 End

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Edit my comment later. 2nd chapter is finished =D

The story idea is interesting but i have to say the development is too sudden. What is with the birthday suddenly turning into a zombie hunt? It's too damn sudden!! I think you should have made it more to suspense rather than rushing to write the zombie parts.

Chapter 1 rated 5.0/10.0
Chapter 2 rated 5.0/10.0

My question is what's a 2x4? Other than, nice start.

It was sudden? Nice, I was aiming for that. The pace is too quick and too sudden for the reader. But all with be explained in the later chapters.





That, only more longer.

WTH is that.....

its a wood block...