[Winter 2014] Concerning Morality and the Human Life Cycle
5
leonard267
FAKKU Non-Writer
In a (futile) attempt to compete for the top prize for this event, a narrative about the life of a certain John will be written to explore this fascinating topic of morality.
____________________________________________________________________________
When what could be seen of John was a lump in his mother's abdomen, and when his head was splitting open the cervix of his poor mother, and when his body was shoving aside his mother's pelvic bones, and when his poor mother was suffering from other conditions symptomatic of someone in labour, the thoughts of his poor mother went back into the past in search for the answer to these questions: “What did I do to land myself in this situation? What have I done wrong? How do I avoid being in such a situation in the future?” Here are her answers to those questions:
What did I do to land myself in this situation?
My husband and I tried for a baby. It worked.
What have I done wrong?
My husband and I tried for a baby. It worked.
How do I avoid being in such a situation in the future?
We should not try for a baby in the future.
These thoughts appear to be simple but have profound consequences. Apart from the obvious ones like John doomed to not having any younger siblings and John being subject to rather nasty physical abuse whenever he asks his mother why he doesn’t have any younger siblings, it had most of all influenced his mother’s beliefs on right and wrong. It was wrong of her to try for a baby and right for her not to try for a baby.
Did the harrowing experience of childbirth change her beliefs concerning morality?
Though it must be said that what John’s mother experienced is quite similar to behaviour conditioning. The process of childbirth was so traumatic that John’s mother was 'conditioned' to treat childbirth as undesirable. One’s sense of morality can be conditioned as well, as John’s life story should show.
His first few years, just like any other infant’s, presented him a steep learning curve he had to surmount. After all, he was not born into this world knowing everything about how to conduct himself in the civilised world. Providence did endow him with the mental faculties needed to learn. In other words, infant John had an inquisitive and easily impressed mind, ever ready to experiment and try new things. However, inquisitive minds do not lead to civilised behaviour, quite the contrary. As it is too unsettling to recount in detail the mischief of a stupid, ill-bred and mindless brat, we will settle for a limerick to detail what John did for most of his first few years.
Infant John made a mess
Of his food on the desk
He crawled up high places, here and there
And gave his mother quite a good scare
This looked bad, so it seemed
But made much worse
With Infant John’s screams
His poor mother was thus in no good mood
And she spanked and spanked and spanked and spanked
Infant John till he was good
It was in these formative years, John learnt (rather painfully) what was right and what was wrong. It all boiled down to this: Do wrong and you will be spanked horribly. Do right and you will not be spanked horribly.
As it was, sense was beaten into him, civility was beaten into him and indeed, morality was beaten to him.
That appeared to be clear cut and easy. Yet, for the next few years of his life, John struggled with issues pertaining to right and wrong. Young John thought that it was easy to conclude that a deed is right or moral after it is done. However that isn’t the case at the point of time before the deed is done. Take for example that episode in John’s childhood when he attempted his very first mural with crayons and colour pencils at his poor mother’s bedroom. John then must have thought that his first masterpiece possessed much aesthetic value. However, his mother (and indeed anyone else who beheld the mess he made on the walls in his mother’s bedroom) was not of that opinion and begun manhandling him with powerful blows to his bottom.
Imagine how perplexed John must have felt then when his masterpiece garnered such a reception from his mother. How was he to know that his mother hated mural paintings especially if it was done in her bedroom? This episode was not without consequence. John †˜knew’ that mural painting is wrong and so is an interest in the fine arts. Refraining from such activities on the other hand was right. Because it is difficult to know if a deed say scrawling on the walls with crayons is wrong before it is carried out, John had a hard time telling right or wrong. Instead, his sense of right and wrong and morality were shaped by a painful process of trial and error.
This continued as he grew older where he was punished for doing bad and not really rewarded for doing good or not doing wrong. There was a difference though. The seriousness of and the number of the decisions he had to make grew along with his age. The outcome of a single decision made when he was in his teenage years like the amount of time he ought to spend in his studies had more profound consequences compared to his first and final attempt at mural painting. Long and tortuous explanations aside, the following briefly lists some of John’s exploits in his prepubescence and pubescence:
1. Imitated what he saw in television to gain attention. It was a cartoon character who like all cartoon characters can’t speak normally. Received unwanted attention and was made fun of and beaten. Learnt that imitating what the television shows is wrong and not imitating television shows is right.
2. Played truant one day because he felt like it. Received a severe tongue lashing from his teacher and was beaten by his poor mother. Learnt that playing truant is wrong and not playing truant is right.
3. Picked up a stray kitten on his way home. Was bitten by the kitten's mother who happened to be nearby. A nasty infection took place. Learnt that picking up stray kittens is wrong and displaying a dislike for kittens, cats and anything feline-shaped is right.
4. Rubbed some part of his own body. Felt very, very good. Learnt that not rubbing that part of his own body is wrong and rubbing it is right.
Although these are all experiences of healthy young males, some, perhaps more advanced in years, would find them juvenile and silly (and creepy). Indeed, if John were made to look back into his past, he would be of the same opinion too. Nonetheless, these life experiences, trivial (and creepy) they may be, shaped John’s views on what is right or wrong.
Then there came a point in his life where that simple formula in determining what is right and is wrong was put into question. It concerns procreation and John’s progeny. John’s experience with courting women went like this:
- Had a relationship with a young woman. The relationship didn’t go well. Learnt that having relationships is wrong and not having relationships is right.
He thought he would remain single for good but for the intervention of his mother. John's experience with his mother intervening in his affairs went like this:
- John went against his mother’s wishes. He almost landed himself in hospital. Learnt that going against his mother is wrong and listening to her is right.
This presents an apparent dilemma but John found it easy to resolve. This was how he did it:
- Having a relationship is wrong because things will not go well.
- Going against my mother’s wishes is worse because I might land myself in hospital.
- Since having a relationship is less ruinous compared to going against my mother’s wishes, I think I am going to have a relationship after all.
And so he found himself betrothed to a rather charming young lady around his age, who under pressure from both their mothers tied the knot, settled down and tried to live happily after. Little did he know at that time that far from having a happy ending, a new chapter of the story of life was beginning to unfold. However, if John’s life were to be a story, that story might be a horror story. It certainly would make a horrible entry to some writing event conducted on a forum of some pornographic website.
To do justice to how his married life was would require another long entry that ought to be left for another time since it continued till he draw his last breath. Yet, it is still possible to list the highlights of his married life that lead him once more to question if a deed is right or wrong. Here is once more a list:
a. The night when he consummated his marriage. John remembered feeling good. For some reason he never asked his spouse if she felt the same. If it felt good, it must be good or moral!
b. The night when his spouse went into labour in scenes so reminiscent of what his mother had to go through a long time ago. John remembered it not feeling good. For some reason, he also never asked his spouse if she felt the same. If childbirth didn’t feel good, it must not be good or moral!
c. The night when he had to put up with his young daughter’s inane and eardrum piercing screaming. John remembered it not feeling good. For some reason, he also never asked his spouse if she felt the same. If having to put up with having a daughter didn’t feel good, then it must be not be good or moral!
d. The night when he decided to deal with his young daughter’s inane and eardrum piercing screaming by giving her a good thumping on the bottom. The screaming was replaced by bawling which sounded less inane and not so ear piercing though loud it was. If beating your daughter when she does an inane and eardrum piercing scream feels good, then it must be good or moral. (He never told his spouse what he had done to their daughter by the way.)
Readers at this juncture might find that John’s story was, putting aside the lazy and repetitive writing, indeed filled with repetitions. Another generation underwent the same treatment and with it similar thought processes concerning morality were engendered. In other words, John’s daughter was to become as nutty as John himself. She would never have the (mis)fortune to have siblings younger than her but she would inherit from her father his way of determining right from wrong.
Before bringing John’s story to a close, it would do us good to reflect on the implications of how he lead his life and his sense of morality. To be honest, the logic behind John’s morality was reasonable. Any sensible society rewards good behaviour and punishes bad behaviour. This is a principle that codes of ethics and even something as personal as morality adhere to.
Yet, procreation and sexual pleasure, as seen in this story, defy that principle of rewarding good behaviour and punishing the bad. Allow me to express my frustration towards this fact of life in bolded font:
Why on earth is sex so pleasurable whilst the act of delivering and bringing up offspring is anything but pleasurable? If I were the Creator, I will pay less attention to sex and make childbirth and child rearing so orgasmic that those involved in it would pine for more!
Speaking of morality though, what is the moral of the story?
____________________________________________________________________________
When what could be seen of John was a lump in his mother's abdomen, and when his head was splitting open the cervix of his poor mother, and when his body was shoving aside his mother's pelvic bones, and when his poor mother was suffering from other conditions symptomatic of someone in labour, the thoughts of his poor mother went back into the past in search for the answer to these questions: “What did I do to land myself in this situation? What have I done wrong? How do I avoid being in such a situation in the future?” Here are her answers to those questions:
What did I do to land myself in this situation?
My husband and I tried for a baby. It worked.
What have I done wrong?
My husband and I tried for a baby. It worked.
How do I avoid being in such a situation in the future?
We should not try for a baby in the future.
These thoughts appear to be simple but have profound consequences. Apart from the obvious ones like John doomed to not having any younger siblings and John being subject to rather nasty physical abuse whenever he asks his mother why he doesn’t have any younger siblings, it had most of all influenced his mother’s beliefs on right and wrong. It was wrong of her to try for a baby and right for her not to try for a baby.
Did the harrowing experience of childbirth change her beliefs concerning morality?
NOT REALLY! (Insert meretricious smiley)
Though it must be said that what John’s mother experienced is quite similar to behaviour conditioning. The process of childbirth was so traumatic that John’s mother was 'conditioned' to treat childbirth as undesirable. One’s sense of morality can be conditioned as well, as John’s life story should show.
His first few years, just like any other infant’s, presented him a steep learning curve he had to surmount. After all, he was not born into this world knowing everything about how to conduct himself in the civilised world. Providence did endow him with the mental faculties needed to learn. In other words, infant John had an inquisitive and easily impressed mind, ever ready to experiment and try new things. However, inquisitive minds do not lead to civilised behaviour, quite the contrary. As it is too unsettling to recount in detail the mischief of a stupid, ill-bred and mindless brat, we will settle for a limerick to detail what John did for most of his first few years.
Infant John made a mess
Of his food on the desk
He crawled up high places, here and there
And gave his mother quite a good scare
This looked bad, so it seemed
But made much worse
With Infant John’s screams
His poor mother was thus in no good mood
And she spanked and spanked and spanked and spanked
Infant John till he was good
It was in these formative years, John learnt (rather painfully) what was right and what was wrong. It all boiled down to this: Do wrong and you will be spanked horribly. Do right and you will not be spanked horribly.
As it was, sense was beaten into him, civility was beaten into him and indeed, morality was beaten to him.
That appeared to be clear cut and easy. Yet, for the next few years of his life, John struggled with issues pertaining to right and wrong. Young John thought that it was easy to conclude that a deed is right or moral after it is done. However that isn’t the case at the point of time before the deed is done. Take for example that episode in John’s childhood when he attempted his very first mural with crayons and colour pencils at his poor mother’s bedroom. John then must have thought that his first masterpiece possessed much aesthetic value. However, his mother (and indeed anyone else who beheld the mess he made on the walls in his mother’s bedroom) was not of that opinion and begun manhandling him with powerful blows to his bottom.
Imagine how perplexed John must have felt then when his masterpiece garnered such a reception from his mother. How was he to know that his mother hated mural paintings especially if it was done in her bedroom? This episode was not without consequence. John †˜knew’ that mural painting is wrong and so is an interest in the fine arts. Refraining from such activities on the other hand was right. Because it is difficult to know if a deed say scrawling on the walls with crayons is wrong before it is carried out, John had a hard time telling right or wrong. Instead, his sense of right and wrong and morality were shaped by a painful process of trial and error.
This continued as he grew older where he was punished for doing bad and not really rewarded for doing good or not doing wrong. There was a difference though. The seriousness of and the number of the decisions he had to make grew along with his age. The outcome of a single decision made when he was in his teenage years like the amount of time he ought to spend in his studies had more profound consequences compared to his first and final attempt at mural painting. Long and tortuous explanations aside, the following briefly lists some of John’s exploits in his prepubescence and pubescence:
1. Imitated what he saw in television to gain attention. It was a cartoon character who like all cartoon characters can’t speak normally. Received unwanted attention and was made fun of and beaten. Learnt that imitating what the television shows is wrong and not imitating television shows is right.
2. Played truant one day because he felt like it. Received a severe tongue lashing from his teacher and was beaten by his poor mother. Learnt that playing truant is wrong and not playing truant is right.
3. Picked up a stray kitten on his way home. Was bitten by the kitten's mother who happened to be nearby. A nasty infection took place. Learnt that picking up stray kittens is wrong and displaying a dislike for kittens, cats and anything feline-shaped is right.
4. Rubbed some part of his own body. Felt very, very good. Learnt that not rubbing that part of his own body is wrong and rubbing it is right.
Although these are all experiences of healthy young males, some, perhaps more advanced in years, would find them juvenile and silly (and creepy). Indeed, if John were made to look back into his past, he would be of the same opinion too. Nonetheless, these life experiences, trivial (and creepy) they may be, shaped John’s views on what is right or wrong.
Then there came a point in his life where that simple formula in determining what is right and is wrong was put into question. It concerns procreation and John’s progeny. John’s experience with courting women went like this:
- Had a relationship with a young woman. The relationship didn’t go well. Learnt that having relationships is wrong and not having relationships is right.
He thought he would remain single for good but for the intervention of his mother. John's experience with his mother intervening in his affairs went like this:
- John went against his mother’s wishes. He almost landed himself in hospital. Learnt that going against his mother is wrong and listening to her is right.
This presents an apparent dilemma but John found it easy to resolve. This was how he did it:
- Having a relationship is wrong because things will not go well.
- Going against my mother’s wishes is worse because I might land myself in hospital.
- Since having a relationship is less ruinous compared to going against my mother’s wishes, I think I am going to have a relationship after all.
And so he found himself betrothed to a rather charming young lady around his age, who under pressure from both their mothers tied the knot, settled down and tried to live happily after. Little did he know at that time that far from having a happy ending, a new chapter of the story of life was beginning to unfold. However, if John’s life were to be a story, that story might be a horror story. It certainly would make a horrible entry to some writing event conducted on a forum of some pornographic website.
To do justice to how his married life was would require another long entry that ought to be left for another time since it continued till he draw his last breath. Yet, it is still possible to list the highlights of his married life that lead him once more to question if a deed is right or wrong. Here is once more a list:
a. The night when he consummated his marriage. John remembered feeling good. For some reason he never asked his spouse if she felt the same. If it felt good, it must be good or moral!
b. The night when his spouse went into labour in scenes so reminiscent of what his mother had to go through a long time ago. John remembered it not feeling good. For some reason, he also never asked his spouse if she felt the same. If childbirth didn’t feel good, it must not be good or moral!
c. The night when he had to put up with his young daughter’s inane and eardrum piercing screaming. John remembered it not feeling good. For some reason, he also never asked his spouse if she felt the same. If having to put up with having a daughter didn’t feel good, then it must be not be good or moral!
d. The night when he decided to deal with his young daughter’s inane and eardrum piercing screaming by giving her a good thumping on the bottom. The screaming was replaced by bawling which sounded less inane and not so ear piercing though loud it was. If beating your daughter when she does an inane and eardrum piercing scream feels good, then it must be good or moral. (He never told his spouse what he had done to their daughter by the way.)
Readers at this juncture might find that John’s story was, putting aside the lazy and repetitive writing, indeed filled with repetitions. Another generation underwent the same treatment and with it similar thought processes concerning morality were engendered. In other words, John’s daughter was to become as nutty as John himself. She would never have the (mis)fortune to have siblings younger than her but she would inherit from her father his way of determining right from wrong.
Before bringing John’s story to a close, it would do us good to reflect on the implications of how he lead his life and his sense of morality. To be honest, the logic behind John’s morality was reasonable. Any sensible society rewards good behaviour and punishes bad behaviour. This is a principle that codes of ethics and even something as personal as morality adhere to.
Yet, procreation and sexual pleasure, as seen in this story, defy that principle of rewarding good behaviour and punishing the bad. Allow me to express my frustration towards this fact of life in bolded font:
Why on earth is sex so pleasurable whilst the act of delivering and bringing up offspring is anything but pleasurable? If I were the Creator, I will pay less attention to sex and make childbirth and child rearing so orgasmic that those involved in it would pine for more!
Speaking of morality though, what is the moral of the story?
Spoiler:
1
leonard267
FAKKU Non-Writer
high_time wrote...
i can't agree more with the last part, you're one big perv indeed.Alas, I wasn't being serious. I think the final part is a bit misleading of what I truly feel. It is more of the case that I am obsessed over NOT having sex.
That said, back your accusation up. No misrepresentation without retaliation.
0
leonard267 wrote...
Alas, I wasn't being serious. I think the final part is a bit misleading of what I truly feel. It is more of the case that I am obsessed over NOT having sex.
That said, back your accusation up. No misrepresentation without retaliation.
don't worry, we are buddies over our scornful thoughts about marriage and procreation =D
a lot of japs also thought that way. that's why we have those nice comics instead.
2
again for some weird reason I really like your story even if it is "repeating writing" or whatever you called it. I guess it is the realistic and reflecting of people everyday that I like? but then again I'm not much of a critical reader.
Tbh I don't think there is anything wrong with being obsessed with sex and yes it is a good question indeed why sex is such a refreshing feeling when raising offspring isn't. Sadly I don't have an answer to your question but it does makes me think and wonder.
About John and his upbringing I do question how someone can think so black/white but I guess some people do. Thank you for sharing and looking forward to whatever next you will throw in my face!
Tbh I don't think there is anything wrong with being obsessed with sex and yes it is a good question indeed why sex is such a refreshing feeling when raising offspring isn't. Sadly I don't have an answer to your question but it does makes me think and wonder.
About John and his upbringing I do question how someone can think so black/white but I guess some people do. Thank you for sharing and looking forward to whatever next you will throw in my face!
1
i like your style but i feel like none of it is real-- it almost makes me want to ask, why "tell me all this?"
2
lel at the short poem. I'm very fond of rhymes. I enjoyed the futility of his life and seeing that the situation in the end resulted in the very beggining yet again.
1
Very beautiful read (well I expected nothing less from you senpai haha). It's all so accurate to how humans actually act (well at least in my opinion).
Great job as always leonard-sama!
PS: Your vocabulary is fucking amazing. That or mine's just shit. Probably both haha
Great job as always leonard-sama!
PS: Your vocabulary is fucking amazing. That or mine's just shit. Probably both haha
1
This almost reads like a paper written by a professor or a student with a dorky sense of humor. When I got into the mindset that I was reading an academic paper, it was a fun read for the most part.
I get the feeling that John's retarded to at least some degree. This line is funny, but any normal person would have realized by now that not everything good and moral feels good. I know this entry isn't meant to be taken seriously, but still. Is John supposed to be retarded, or this a misconception on my part due to this joke?
How kind of you to point that out so I don't have to. In particular, the first list got boring by the third point. You should have done something to put a twist on the punchline.
My guess is that it's pleasurable to lure us into ensuring the human race lives on, but childbirth itself is painful because overpopulation is a bad thing.
Yeah, you say that, but I'd argue this story has a true moral: morality is defined by the society we live in and is a frail thing that can easily be twisted.
You've got some grammar errors.
If childbirth didn’t feel good, it must be not be good or moral!
I get the feeling that John's retarded to at least some degree. This line is funny, but any normal person would have realized by now that not everything good and moral feels good. I know this entry isn't meant to be taken seriously, but still. Is John supposed to be retarded, or this a misconception on my part due to this joke?
Readers at this juncture might have found that John’s story was, putting aside the lazy and repetitive writing, indeed filled with repetitions.
How kind of you to point that out so I don't have to. In particular, the first list got boring by the third point. You should have done something to put a twist on the punchline.
Why on earth is sex so pleasurable whilst the act of delivering and bringing up offspring is anything but pleasurable? If I were the Creator, I will pay less attention to sex and make childbirth and child rearing so orgasmic that those involved in it would pine for more!
My guess is that it's pleasurable to lure us into ensuring the human race lives on, but childbirth itself is painful because overpopulation is a bad thing.
LEONARD267 IS OBSESSED WITH SEX.
Yeah, you say that, but I'd argue this story has a true moral: morality is defined by the society we live in and is a frail thing that can easily be twisted.
You've got some grammar errors.
1
leonard267
FAKKU Non-Writer
xhimitsu wrote...
About John and his upbringing I do question how someone can think so black/white but I guess some people do. Thank you for sharing and looking forward to whatever next you will throw in my face!
Intended the entry to be both silly and satirical. That said, I am considering parodying all of the entries submitted.
RavenxSinon wrote...
Very beautiful read (well I expected nothing less from you senpai haha). It's all so accurate to how humans actually act (well at least in my opinion).Great job as always leonard-sama!
PS: Your vocabulary is amazing. That or mine's just shit. Probably both haha
Don't be modest! You managed to tell the difference between a bracket and a parenthesis. This is in my book makes you much better than me!
To tell you the truth, I am not so concerned about vocabulary. I am more concerned whether the reader knows that this is a silly story and whether he can understand what is going on.
Have you read the other works of nonsense that I am responsible for?
d(^_^)(^_^)d wrote...
I get the feeling that John's retarded to at least some degree. This line is funny, but any normal person would have realized by now that not everything good and moral feels good. I know this entry isn't meant to be taken seriously, but still. Is John supposed to be retarded, or this a misconception on my part due to this joke?This entry is intended to be satirical instead of being just plain silly. (Don't get me wrong. This entry is silly.) You can see that as a criticism of utilitarian ethics or basing your code of morals on how an action benefits you if you want to know how it is satirical. Satire I feel must feature the silly if it is able to do the job of mockery well.
Back to your remark about John being mentally challenged. My response will be a rhetorical question: "How can a story be silly without silly characters?"
How kind of you to point that out so I don't have to. In particular, the first list got boring by the third point. You should have done something to put a twist on the punchline.
That I did. You didn't get the joke about masturbation and being scared of your wife?
My guess is that it's pleasurable to lure us into ensuring the human race lives on, but childbirth itself is painful because overpopulation is a bad thing.
Don't look too much into it. If you insist on doing so, I would like to point out that I am of the opinion that the process of copulation and birth rewards bad behaviour and punishes good behaviour. This goes against that perfectly rational principle of rewarding good behaviour and punishing bad behaviour. This I think is the reason why sex is taboo.
Again, don't think too much about it because you might discover that this entry lacks consistency on what it is trying to mock. It even accepts the fact that John behaved properly in accepting that what is moral must benefit him. I am glad to tell you that I came up with this entry rather sloppily and paid little attention to how others might interpret it.
You might think that being sloppy is not something worth being proud about. I reply that this mindset might have something to do with my pursuit of engineering. An engineer endeavours to come up with a structure which just meets standards using the least effort, time and money. This entry meets requirements so I am not looking too much into it.
Yeah, you say that, but I'd argue this story has a true moral: morality is defined by the society we live in and is a frail thing that can easily be twisted.
Betraying expectations, red herrings, intentionally failing to get the point, repetitive writing and flawed logic are all part of leonard267 humour. Some find it funny, some don't, many more fail to realise that this is an attempt at humour. However, I write mainly to amuse myself then share what I write hoping that someone out there shares my sense of humour.
You've got some grammar errors.
Leave it to Xenon to point them out. I am glad that they did not hinder you from understanding this entry.
0
leonard267 wrote...
This entry is intended to be satirical instead of being just plain silly. (Don't get me wrong. This entry is silly.) You can see that as a criticism of utilitarian ethics or basing your code of morals on how an action benefits you if you want to know how it is satirical. Satire I feel must feature the silly if it is able to do the job of mockery well.It does makes more sense in that respect. I guess I'm still not entirely sure on what a satire is.
That I did. You didn't get the joke about masturbation and being scared of your wife?
Say what now? I thought that body part he rubbed was his foot, you know, like after a long, hard day on his feet.
Don't look too much into it. If you insist on doing so, I would like to point out that I am of the opinion that the process of copulation and birth rewards bad behaviour and punishes good behaviour. This goes against that perfectly rational principle of rewarding good behaviour and punishing bad behaviour. This I think is the reason why sex is taboo.
It's gotta make sense on some level. Take for example fruits. Let's say a child has only ever seen apples and has never been told of other kinds of fruits. He therefore assumes that all fruits are red or green, generally round, and yellow-ish on the inside. Of course, when the banana is introduced to him, it defies almost every rule he knows about fruits. So, is the pineapple an outlier in which the rules just don't apply, or are there rules the child just hasn't considered?
Again, don't think too much about it because you might discover that this entry lacks consistency on what it is trying to mock. It even accepts the fact that John behaved properly in accepting that what is moral must benefit him. I am glad to tell you that I came up with this entry rather sloppily and paid little attention to how others might interpret it.
I don't pay attention either. I just write. It's not my fault if a reader comes up with some off-the-wall interpretation. At the same time though, it's awesome when someone puts so much thought into something I've written and comes up with something that I had never even considered.
An engineer endeavours to come up with a structure which just meets standards using the least effort, time and money.
And they make sure whatever it is they're making is safe. Right?
Betraying expectations, red herrings, intentionally failing to get the point, repetitive writing and flawed logic are all part of leonard267 humour. Some find it funny, some don't, many more fail to realise that this is an attempt at humour. However, I write mainly to amuse myself then share what I write hoping that someone out there shares my sense of humour.
I get the humor. Just saying that you could argue that intentional or not, your story taught that moral to me.
Leave it to Xenon to point them out. I am glad that they did not hinder you from understanding this entry.
I don't care all that much unless they interfere with my understanding of the story. I also really hate when people switch back and forth between past and present tense for no apparent reason.
1
Very very well done, as I had stated previously, it is quite the daunting task to create a story that could incite laughs or smirks or both. But you did it with aplomb, and not only that, you also managed to deliver a somewhat serious question at the end of your short story.
Regarding your style of writing, I am astounded with what you can offer, you have created moments of empathy with not only one character, but with a variety of characters. You might pass off your work with something of an easy-going and pervy take but I can feel the amount of time and hard work poured into making the story as it is.
As for trying to deduce the moral, I had come up with a few.
1. Might it be that the morals and/or ethics of the world are relative to each person? That what is right and wrong differs from each individual?
2. Or that one must truly inspect that what is right from what is wrong and disregard their own preconceived notions of ethics for the betterment of the next generation?
3. Or should I take it at face value and accept that the author is truly obsessed with the act of procreation that it seeps through his work and that childbirth should be as enjoyable as sex? :)
Overall a great work, not much errors to be noted (rather, I do not think I have the capacity of noticing them), and a fun read. This work-
Regarding your style of writing, I am astounded with what you can offer, you have created moments of empathy with not only one character, but with a variety of characters. You might pass off your work with something of an easy-going and pervy take but I can feel the amount of time and hard work poured into making the story as it is.
As for trying to deduce the moral, I had come up with a few.
1. Might it be that the morals and/or ethics of the world are relative to each person? That what is right and wrong differs from each individual?
2. Or that one must truly inspect that what is right from what is wrong and disregard their own preconceived notions of ethics for the betterment of the next generation?
3. Or should I take it at face value and accept that the author is truly obsessed with the act of procreation that it seeps through his work and that childbirth should be as enjoyable as sex? :)
Overall a great work, not much errors to be noted (rather, I do not think I have the capacity of noticing them), and a fun read. This work-
leonard267 wrote...
must make it good by my standards
2
Smart of me to choose to read your entry last in the poll, or else I won't be able to read the other ones with my head filled with silliness.
I know everybody agrees that you have done a silly job, but I also personally think that this one is less silly and more on a serious note than the other works you have posted. But, as always, you have come up with a great satire for the whole community this time around too. You have opened up a lot of room for interpretation of this entry, and I think John's mindset may as well be the whole 'morality' thing - society decides what's right and what's wrong, and you act accordingly.
I don't got much more to say about this piece besides that I think it's great.
So I guess it's must be so easy to write satires when even a guy like Leonard can write it, right? I would wish you good luck in the contest, but I see you don't need one, because Leonard clearly didn't have poured his effort into making this entry, since it's so easy to write, just using his silly and pervy mind. Unlike everybody else, where they have to rub their parts occasionally when running out of idea for their awesome entries. Shame on you Leonard.
I know everybody agrees that you have done a silly job, but I also personally think that this one is less silly and more on a serious note than the other works you have posted. But, as always, you have come up with a great satire for the whole community this time around too. You have opened up a lot of room for interpretation of this entry, and I think John's mindset may as well be the whole 'morality' thing - society decides what's right and what's wrong, and you act accordingly.
I don't got much more to say about this piece besides that I think it's great.
So I guess it's must be so easy to write satires when even a guy like Leonard can write it, right? I would wish you good luck in the contest, but I see you don't need one, because Leonard clearly didn't have poured his effort into making this entry, since it's so easy to write, just using his silly and pervy mind. Unlike everybody else, where they have to rub their parts occasionally when running out of idea for their awesome entries. Shame on you Leonard.
1
It was quite entertaining, but being who I am, could not associate myself with any part of the story, which says more about me than your qualities as a writer. I like the style, it is quite bombastic (try reading it while have "Ride of the Valkyries" running in the background, it is a bombastic overload). Good job.
0
Cinia Pacifica
Ojou-sama Writer
Chiligyro wrote...
try reading it while have "Ride of the Valkyries" running in the backgroundpls no
1
One of the best submissions I read so far. It's darkly funny to see John, in a sense, only to repeat his mom's GREAT JUSTICE by proxy.
It's good in presentation, yet I find it difficult to relate in some points due to being overly contemplative. This maybe the only flaw I could see in the narrative.
It's good in presentation, yet I find it difficult to relate in some points due to being overly contemplative. This maybe the only flaw I could see in the narrative.
2
xninebreaker
FAKKU Writer
First off, apologies about the loss of font size and color. Opening that spoiler at the bottom will never be the same.
Your criticism of ethics and morals in this particular satire is what makes it my personal favorite of your works. Unlike some of your previous entries in which you criticize arbitrary definitions or concepts behind marriage, this entry feels more relatable and more serious. A number of your other works are more silly than they are satirical, but I think this entry is the opposite.
From the beginning to the end, the work is littered with a grim foreboding, which helps put the issue being criticized into a more serious perspective. The questions used kin the story act as a plot device advance the story, but also doubles as a question to the reader. For example you lead your work with:
That is a powerful, powerful start. Even if I am pulling this out of context, these are questions that everyone asks a little bit more than once in their lives. The reader, or at least I, could not help but quickly relate these kind of questions to myself. Then the follow up of 'Here are the answers to those questions' is an equally powerful sentence that further grabs the attention of the reader and runs with it.
Another reason why this is a personal favorite of your works for me is that unlike your other satirical works, this one has a much more functional story. We are reading about John's life and questioning and trying to understand his rationale behind his morals as the story develops. The fact that there is a story to follow makes it much easier to read, enjoy, and immediately apply the criticism that you are bringing up onto something (John in this case).
Technically speaking, your entry is fairly sound in terms of structure, grammar, and 'flow'. Though honestly, attempting to apply general ideas of structure and flow to your work is tricky considering it is inherently different from traditional story telling. Whether or not that is a good or bad thing is subjective I believe. For instance, you use numbers, letters, and hyphens as bullet points in this entry, and I don't believe there is a grammatically functional reason for doing this. Normally it would be considered inconsistent, but the entire piece is the same way, which is why is difficult to judge if the structure is done 'poorly'. In this case, 'inconsistent' does not necessarily mean 'poor'.
At the end of the day, you've written something that was interesting and funny to read while attacking preconceived notions of morality. I enjoyed it.
I don't have much to nitpick about your story, mostly because of how different it is from normal. However, why are you adding a meretricious smiley there? I feel like a smirk of some kind would be more appropriate.
leonard267 wrote...
This entry is intended to be satirical instead of being just plain silly. (Don't get me wrong. This entry is silly.) You can see that as a criticism of utilitarian ethics or basing your code of morals on how an action benefits you if you want to know how it is satirical.Your criticism of ethics and morals in this particular satire is what makes it my personal favorite of your works. Unlike some of your previous entries in which you criticize arbitrary definitions or concepts behind marriage, this entry feels more relatable and more serious. A number of your other works are more silly than they are satirical, but I think this entry is the opposite.
From the beginning to the end, the work is littered with a grim foreboding, which helps put the issue being criticized into a more serious perspective. The questions used kin the story act as a plot device advance the story, but also doubles as a question to the reader. For example you lead your work with:
“What did I do to land myself in this situation? What have I done wrong? How do I avoid being in such a situation in the future?” Here are her answers to those questions:
That is a powerful, powerful start. Even if I am pulling this out of context, these are questions that everyone asks a little bit more than once in their lives. The reader, or at least I, could not help but quickly relate these kind of questions to myself. Then the follow up of 'Here are the answers to those questions' is an equally powerful sentence that further grabs the attention of the reader and runs with it.
Another reason why this is a personal favorite of your works for me is that unlike your other satirical works, this one has a much more functional story. We are reading about John's life and questioning and trying to understand his rationale behind his morals as the story develops. The fact that there is a story to follow makes it much easier to read, enjoy, and immediately apply the criticism that you are bringing up onto something (John in this case).
Technically speaking, your entry is fairly sound in terms of structure, grammar, and 'flow'. Though honestly, attempting to apply general ideas of structure and flow to your work is tricky considering it is inherently different from traditional story telling. Whether or not that is a good or bad thing is subjective I believe. For instance, you use numbers, letters, and hyphens as bullet points in this entry, and I don't believe there is a grammatically functional reason for doing this. Normally it would be considered inconsistent, but the entire piece is the same way, which is why is difficult to judge if the structure is done 'poorly'. In this case, 'inconsistent' does not necessarily mean 'poor'.
At the end of the day, you've written something that was interesting and funny to read while attacking preconceived notions of morality. I enjoyed it.
I don't have much to nitpick about your story, mostly because of how different it is from normal. However, why are you adding a meretricious smiley there? I feel like a smirk of some kind would be more appropriate.