g-money wrote...
Damn man, from whatever part you're from (I think it was Canada, right?), them guys need to grow some balls.
Sorry, nope ^.~
Entirely different continent in fact.
It does take two to tango, but I'm guessing the nice-guy part won over in said situation, and if he does confess and gets rejected, I'm not sure if its the guys fault at all.
What I meant is: Part of the blame goes to the guy for letting the girl use him as an emotional trashcan. And part of the blame goes to the girl for being too cheap to seek a paid listener. There are trained professionals who will take your emotional ballast and respond with sage (or not so sage) advice in exchange for money.
If the guy however does take the role of that listener-slash-emotional-dumpster, free of charge, then that's clearly an abusive relationship. He should just realize that and give up his hopes and get the fuck out of it, instead of dithering and then confessing some day, deluding himself into thinking he's still got a chance.
ZiggyOtaku wrote...
I think what he's talking about more is with moves and hints and so forth.
And sometimes these hints get pretty obvious, and in my observation you then get two basic scenarios with the stereotypical "nice guy":
a) He doesn't notice. Or pretends not to, because he doesn't want to be seen as "aggressive" and wants to "bide his time". That can be pretty grating to watch from a distance, actually. I had a total "nice guy" co-worker who behaved like that, and it made me want to grab him by the shoulders and yell at him.
b) He's got the machismo stereotype of "flirtatious guys are studs, flirtatious gals are sluts" so deeply ingrained that he reacts with distress because she's not the pure and unstained princess he demands. Seen that, as said, happen too many times; and that's not grating, it's simply sickening.
It's O.K. for the guy to fill the passive part, but he at least needs to send out clear signals that he's interested. When flirted with, he needs to respond; when she shows interest, make it clear in at least
some way that he is too, instead of trying to come off as noncommittal and harmless and "simply nice with no ulterior motives". You can't really blame the girl if she otherwise assumes that he's not interested, and moves on.