Awkward dialogue

So I've noticed sometimes while reading hentai that there's every so on some really awkward dialogue, I usually read vanilla so when I come across it, it somehow kills the romantic mood haha I was just reading NaPaTas "Don't leave me" which is a splendid story but on page six on the bottom left frame there's this line her brother uses which makes me wonder, is it bad translation or just an awkward line? Has any one noticed this before? What do you think about it?
I look forward to your responses^^

Japanese can be a bit vague at times compared to some other languages so sometimes you just kind of have to fill it in or try and equivalate common phrases if you want to translate it.

I wouldn't blame the translator, but I'd like to see the original, I know what you mean, it's pretty cringey to read.

[size=14]Basically, you get cases like this of things being lost in translation. The japanese don't have the same sayings as us and sentences are structured differently so it's probably hard for a translator to make it understandable and keep as much of the original intent as possible. Sometimes they slip up.[/h]

You rang?

Yep, the translator is a clown.

It should be "I love you, Yumi-chan".

A little too simple, no?

Maybe, but in regards to what OP is saying, I agree that it kind of breaks the flow of the scene, especially since it's vanilla. I think a straightforward and confident "I love you" followed by her name fits better. Adding 'really' might make it even better, since he ends his sentence in 'yo' which emphasises the sentence.

The rest of it is good though.

I dont like when characters talk like that, it feels so corny. Half the time I feel like the translators are just screwing around with some of those lines.