Blue balls

So I have this thing where when I fap I have to clean up after. So it starts off like this.

I wake up and of course shower right off the bat. A couple hours later it's a nice sunny day, so I go jogging for a while. I come back all hot and sweaty and figure another shower wouldn't hurt. When I went jogging I bumped into an old friend. So we decided to meet up a bit after. He smokes, so by the end of hanging out with him, my hair, body and clothes smell like smoke. So I figured I'd have to take a third shower. So then, as I'm innocently browsing the internet I come across some porn, which put me in the mood and I remembered I haven't fapped in about 2 or so weeks. But then I'd have to clean up for a 4th time I thought. Ain't nobody got time for dat. So my balls are in a slight bit of pain now.

Just another IB blog.

>Showering this much

you got one expensive water and sewage bill.

Haven't fapped for three weeks. I still feel ok.

You have problems.

Gotta stay clean yo. Who knows when my waifu will come through the screen.

inb4 she likes you dirty and messy

What then, Tony? What then...

Masterbate into/on something (i.e. folded tissues).

How do you know if you have a high sperm count?

Why not use a neighbour's pet to lick off the residue

Cause their pets bite. That's a no no in the pee pee zone.

Only plebs use tissues

why on earth would you have to shower after fapping? do you feel like you have dirtied yourself or something? In that case you should probably become one of those celibate religious people

I must be some kind of filthy person because I have never showered after fapping. Unless it was fapping in the shower.

Tony, you have disappointed me.

I don't take full showers after fapping. I just wash the crotch part.

You needn't shower every time, a decent washcloth and water on er, sweat-covered zones would do the trick.

That or some kind of body-safe moist wipe.

Never had them. I don't jizz no more.