Emergency

How do I pee my pants without anybody knowing.

Wear adult diapers. No one hears or see it.

Get in the pool.
Have a woman drink straight from your hose.
Piss in your pocket.
Pull it out and spank it.

just say you're really sweaty.

[size=10]and that your sweat is yellow[/h]

[size=5]and smells like piss[/h]

[size=3]tell them you sweat piss.[/h]

Do what my friend did and piss yourself in a store at a water park because you're so drunk and high and nobody notices because you're literally dripping wet from the water.

That's a good one. Just be R.Kelly, Medzy.

Jump in a swimming pool and let 'er rip.

I piss lemonade. Sweeeeeet lemonade.

Pee an enormous amount, enough to drench them.

Exclusively on your own pants? Can't go on the ground, or in a alley, or in a balloon you will later toss at someone you don't like at a later time?

Get creative: urinate on every spot of your pants except the crotch area. From the odor and appearance of your pants, people will think that you've wet yourself, but they'll then notice the dry spot of your pants and think "oh, you can't have urinated on yourself; the crotch is clean. I must have urinated on you. Here, take my clean pants as an apology."

A trick so majestic I bet even Harry Houdini couldn't pull it off (Mostly due to him being dead for the last 87 years).

1. Buy Mountain Dew
2. Start to Pee then
3. ACCIDENTALLY spill it on your pants/shorts
4. Say something smart like "Chill the fuck out people yo, Its just Mountain Dew"
5. Profit.

Cut your dick off.

get erect
then put your penis in your butt
no one will guess you're peeing

Heh, if i could do that sans peeing, i would have it made XD

looks like someone didn't get the joke + accidentally derepped peltor at that

Ask everyone to turn around before you pee.

Oh god I have this really embarrassing story. So I'm on Erasmus, reaaaaaaaally drunk, I don't remember much of that night, except I got into a friendly bar brawl, I kissed a girl or two, and I woke up without phone, money, IDs or purse for that matter, all I had were bruises and sore muscles, but it's something like 6 am, I somehow managed to get home because a gentleman drove me (on the back of his bike, which is quite a feat considering I wasn't very stable), and I'm in front of the door, can't find the keys and I need to pee like the mother goddamn Niagara falls are about to burst from my bladder.

I did find the keys, just a little too late and ran to the first floor kitchen and peed in the sink. Which is also something I'll never do again because I had to hoist myself up there and finish peeing.

The kitchen was shared obviously, since student house, so I drunkenly cleaned up. I seriously don't know how cause I don't remember changing, going to get the cleaning supplies and cleaning, but I woke up changed into clean clothes and the kitchen was clean and didn't smell.

This was the last time I ever got that drunk.

Don't worry. I don't care much unless it's intentional and deliberate mass -1.

Find a butt and pee in it.