~Fakku Girls Club v4~

Well we had a long distance relationship for 5 years, then we moved together. Now i'm in college and he is doing nothing, for 3 years.
i love him and if his weird phases would pass a future would be great but...

Its hard to explain without going into details but lately he is acting really weird...

i accepted that from the start he said he isnt romantic, we never had a date, i dont get presents nor do we celebrate any holidays. He told me from the start so i feel guilty saying anything about that. However i still do sometimes regret never have had such experiances...

then a few months ago he decided he is fully asexual, i'm demiasexual and he was too, until he suddenly said sex is an urge and he doesnt want it anymore. And so he forbid sex, first totally for a month,then he said once every 3 weeks, once every 14 days... 3 months later he decided "fuck it"
but for 3 months i had to take this shit and i LOVE teasing and i love sex. I wasnt allowed to change infront of him, do yoga in the same room, i had to fully dress when coming from the shower... UGH why NOT have sex if we could???

and he is like the most shy innocent male person i ever met, he hates porn including hentai, he had no interests in girls before me and overall he is just passive with everything. His way of persuing sex is by asking for it and then its up to me to tell him what to do.

All of the above is troublesome but not really terrible in regard of our well working daily life. We watch anime and movies,play games,do the household and fool around or cuddle.

What does worry me is that lately he is acting so passive agressive. The tiniest complications make him go mad and when he decides to be angry everyone is at fault,including me.
first it was too hot and he was full time pissed off, he had a foot operation... i was his maid but he just complained. Now he has no excuses but the smallest thing makes him furious. Even me getting mad over our ps4 made him treat me badly. And when we talk about it he puts all the blame on me or anything but him.

He isnt looking for a job and i cant force him, but we need the income and he has college debts, altought he never did finish college.
The situations puts me on even more pressure,which he then doesnt even appreciate. If i study "arent you done already,leta play a match!", if i get home from college "you should clean the place today" if we need anything "can you go shopping we need...."

And all of this might ruin my days or make my depressions worse, and yet there is something worse than that.

Whenever i complain he would say "yes i'm a bad boyfriend, you're too good for me so go and find someone better you deserve it, i wont stop you"
Thats pretty much his whole life motto, he loves me, he says, however any kind of work is out of question. If he cannot achieve what he wants by default he wont persue it further.... even if it means loosing me

Maybe thats sweet and loving from him,giving me a chance to a better life.... but if after 8 years he STILL does tell me to go if i want to,instead of trying to make me happy himself...i do question if i'm the only one really working for our relationship to work.
I chose him and asked him to date me, i was the one holding our distance relationshio together, i am the one saving our living and our future...always ALONE as it seems.

So perhaps its selfish or some stupid wish for adventure and i dont want ruining all we have,our past,pur possible future... i cant even study if his parents kick me out.
I just feel more and more depressed and lonely and i'm being such a kind nice girlfriend for not have started doing webcam shows for guys or seeking for a master...even while i'm dying to di that and feel loved,appreciated and pretty again....