FAKKU Writers' Lounge

I'm analyzing what you've given me and looking for what kind of story you are trying to make. In this instance, the fact that he has attempted suicide could indicate a combination of depression, lack of self-confidence, and may allude to the fact that he does not have many people that he holds dear.

These points are potential plots. For example, this story could be about him meeting a girl that breaks him out of his depression. Or maybe his desire to suicide returns darker than ever until a chance meeting where someone saves him.

Then again, this is just a small slice of your story, so any thing i try to imagine can easily be thrown out the window.

Hey, it's been a while since I've done anything at all here. I thought I'd post a link to some lectures of a writing class that I watched recently. I found them to be very insightful. They are an hour long, and there's 14 of them so it's a bit of time sink if you watch all of them, but I nonetheless recommend giving them a shot. Especially the last three lectures if you have any aspirations of getting published one day.

The lectures are geared toward writing scifi and fantasy, but really, most of it can be applied to pretty much whatever the hell you feel like writing.

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLRO9W1Nmh6clZP-IAhMeMpMru7vJaW7KJ

Update on the idea I'm working on? I'm not sure about the clock counting down bit, I came up with the idea so the audience can get a glimpse of how he over-exaggerates things but I'm not sure if this idea would completely execute the aspect.
I'm also working on a screenplay as well which is about an artist/co-creator of a hentai website (massively influenced by FAKKU btw.) Bauer finds himself at major crossroads about his job, his future, his philosophies and he encounters a mysterious account who gives him 'save files;' these save files give Bauer (the main character in my screenplay) the chance to go back in time or create a checkpoint, resulting in the desire for Bauer to try and make a perfect for himself and everyone he holds dear to. (just trying to write a lot now since I'm taking a course on Creative Writing/ English Literature in September.)


Tuesday 31st March 3X15





'Wow', I sighed, with a sigh of relief along with a hint of frustration. the pendulum on my antique Victorian clock swinging back and forth and back and forth, simultaneously with the “click” of the left hand reminding that all of this is real and ongoing. Me, breathing the same air that you breathe and desperately trying to rid myself of that luxury, my room subtly unveiling a soft peachy to lavender gradient, ironically contrasting against the atmosphere, all of my gadgets, comics, misc, stuff that will bring shame if found (this diary being a major sector) obviously and clearly looking down on me while in a plethora of dust, as if I'm an illiterate, mead-dependent peasant at the knees of a prestigious and respected knight, looking at gravity take its role on his/her (some knights were women, right?) beautifully crafted longsword and descend rapidly on me.

I slouch on my gamer chair, turn 90 degrees to the floor where I just attempted to take my life with an IKEA plastic bag. I actually question my motives during my failed suicide attempts 'Why am I doing this?', 'Am I just doing this for attention?' For someone, literally anyone, just see past the fake Joie de Vivre, the smile that doesn't even make my eyes wrinkle, the robotic laugh that I always activate when someone tells me a really shit joke (but not shitty enough in order for you to laugh at the person.) I look around my state-of-the-art apartment staring outside of my window, giving me a panorama view of ….. skyline, bullet trains darting across the city, like a hyperactive child who's clearly had too much sour cherries, contemporary buildings launching a spectrum of colours , street lights exploiting the people loitering the veranda, wolf-whistling at curvy women that walk by, passive white collars workers, anticipating for the bus to arrive and be left vulnerable to a gush of warm air. I bet whoever is reading this, I sound like an arrogant, spoilt mainstreamer, don't I? (And even try to say that I'm not because we both know you're lying.) The truth is, maybe I am; like maybe there's no such thing as good people, bad people, selfish people, pushovers, you name it; maybe the actions we do are bad, good or selfish.

To be blunt, I'm only writing these sectors from the inner archives of my brain because I feel myself, reluctantly on the string that keeps me sane, being social enough but stand-offish to be considered an introvert and just 'a smug asshole who puts on a facade by being so pessimistic and keeping his distance away from people to show how elite he is.', knowing the difference between actually being hungry and just dying from boredom, or knowing true lov...


My stomach makes a grumbling noise, and if there's worse than being suicidal and alone, it's being suicidal, alone and hungry. I stand and feel lightheaded straight after, almost ramming into the old antique clock, and look up at it's face, 'tick-tock-tick-tock' the onomatopoeia casting a curse on me, counting down the seconds I have left until I faint; 59 58 57 56 55... I reach for my phone and call my most trustworthy Chinese restaurant. 44 43 42 41.... Dialling up 'Golden Moon Palace,' I take a deep breath and pull my belly inwards, hearing 'tick-tock-tick-tock' resonate in my head.



Save Files

INT. Bauer's Room

ENTER NON-DIALEGTIC MUSIC: The Beatles – Nowhere Man

Close on Bauer's hands playing on his SNES, Screen fizzes, Bauer is walking towards the funfair with his friends and love interest. (10s)

Screen fizzes back to Bauer's current state, We focus on the screen, reveals Bauer is playing Final Fantasy I, (NEAR GURGU VOLCANO.) (10s)

Screen fizzes back again. A younger version (female, 18-19) Bauer is on the roller-coaster with his friends and shows Bauer giving a prize to someone in a POV SHOT. (8s)

Screen fizzes back again, gaining tempo in succession to each transition, Close up on Bauer's face, effect shows the light on his face, facial expressions are jaded and meek. (8s)

Screen fizzes back, Medium shot of Bauer pushing someone on a trolley, Close up of shot of Bauer's face, bursting with anticipation and joy. (6s)

Screen fizzes, shot is a 360 degree panorama w stereographic projection birds eye view which gradually gets closer towards Bauer during each transition. (4s)

Screen fizzes, Bauer is currently battling the fire fiend, Kary. (4s)

Screen fizzes, Bauer is eating chicken wings and has loads of stuffed animals in his possession, close up shot of Bauer with stuffed animal fur in his face, facial expression is bubbly.(5s)

Screen fizzes, the birds eye shot gets closer, plummets down towards Bauer. (3s)

Screen fizzes, Bauer is covered in glow in the dark paint, eating chicken wings, getting really closer to his love interest. (3s)

Screen fizzes, Extreme close up on Bauer's face, still showing the meek and jaded facial expressions. (2s)

Screen fizzes, tempo gets really fast, Bauer gets really to his love interest, almost about to kiss her (1s)

Scenes now replay getting faster and faster, ultimately ends with a screen fizzing and shuts down.


BAUER
What?

pg.2

Save Files

Bauer sits there in silence, watching the pitch black screen, SA completely unaware of the fact that Bauer didn't even have the chance to save his game.

Bauer (CONT'D)
You've got to be fucking kidding me?!

Bauer, still sitting in silence, hoping for a miracle that his TV will come back to life.

Camera focuses on the screen, still turned off (5s)

Bauer rubs his face, pushes his hair backwards and picks up his Macbook Pro.

Bauer (whispers under his breath)
Fucking piece of shit, I almost beat Kary.

Bauer stands up.

Bauer (CONT'D)
I almost... beat him.

Bauer sets his eyes on his bag on the opposite side of the room, walks towards it, sits down on the floor and opens it. Inside of the bag is full of bongs, weed like accessories drawings of nude cartoons, drugs, a camcorder and a sheet of paper

Bauer
Monotonous.

Bauer turns on his laptop, non-diegetic sound of fingers tapping on the keyboard.

Bauer is scrolling through his archives which is full of doujinshi and hentai manga. Bauer sighs and clicks on a project (project #42)

Camera focuses on the screen to see that Bauer is uploading something.

While it's loading, an error occurs and Bauer is unable to upload. Bauer pulls a stern look at the Macbook Pro

Bauer
Like.. Like?

Bauer (CONT'D)
Really nigger?

Bauer refreshes the tab, only to realise the same result happens again and again. Bauer lets out a sigh.

Bauer
I swear, technology is out to get me or some shit.


pg.3
Save Files

Bauer refreshes his tab and sees a message from 'IRAQIROCKETLAUNCHER_43.' Bauer reads out the message stuttering and shows signs of hesitation.

Bauer
Hey dude, can you lock this thread for me? Some dude is spamming and being an absolute dick and shit, here's the thread.

Bauer scrolls down and clicks on the thread. (2s)


Bauer (reading the thread)
Dreams and Aspirations brought to life with the revolutionary 'SAVE FILES.'

Bauer (CONT'D)
Yeah, it's soooo revolutionary that you post it on a hentai website.


Bauer scrolls the thread and sees the creator of the thread 'TSUNDERETUESDAYS', harassing and constantly double posting links to the 'save files.'

Bauer
Like what the fuck is this?

Bauer clicks on 'TSUNDERETUESDAYS' profile and clicks 'message'

Camera focuses on the screen, Bauer types down.

'Hey, tsunderetuesdays, stop with the spam and take your stupid scheme somewhere else.'

'P.S, I don't how you managed to double post but stop it okay?'

To the guy who recently deleted a short story they posted: Why?

I've been thinking about writing a story which has vampires in it. Nothing like Twilight/The Morganville Vampires, though. It would have a post-apocalyptic setting. The survivors will have to survive in a world in which the night is slowly becoming more and more controlled by the vampires (I have yet to think of a name for them), who depend on their minions (Vessels) to patrol during the day.

Still, I believe I'm pretty bad at writing. I already wrote some stuff, and it's rather cheesy. Do you think I should try to take a shot at doing this?

The answer is always yes. You'll never know until you try!

It depends on how much you like this idea and whether or not you want it to be awesome. If you have no qualms about it, then jump in, or if you'd prefer, work on other stuff first and get better.

Hey, just dropping by, seeing what's new with everyone. Also, thought I'd hand out this word I found yesterday. Hope people like it, because I sure as hell do.

Monohemerous: Lasting or existing only one day

Breaking it down, it's mono (Greek one)+hemer(o) (Greek day)+ous (Latin adjectival suffix). Also ephemeral, apparently, is composed of hemer.

Always good to hear from you, Logophile, and I hope things are going fine with you. Let us hope that this drop-in isn't monohemerous, eh? Eh? Used in a sentence.

Just the usual swamp load of tests for me. A bit more than usually actually since the semester is coming to a close.

For some reason I immediately saw "heme" as in Latin for blood, instead of "hemer". then again I suppose the "-rous" wouldn't make too much sense.

So much FFXIV that I'm forgetting almost everything else.

I've been busy, but for the most part, yes, I've been doing well. I tend to lurk the forum. So you could usually invoke me by asking me something.



I hope you do well on your tests.



I know what you mean. Among doing other things, I got back into playing Kingdom Hearts. I started listening to its music, and as a consequence, it caused me to want to play it. I beat the first one for the first time on Proud Mode (I can't particularly recall whether I did it before, though I remember beating the second on Proud). It was also the first time I got some really hard to get items (damn, Rare Truffles).



Now I'm on Kingdom Hearts II, but because the Final Mix has finally been released outside of Japan, I'm reluctant to commit to the original. I've mainly been doing extra stuff on my original file. Trying to complete the gummi missions 100%—treasure wise, at least. Only need 4 items in 4 missions to do.

Man Kingdom Hearts II was the shit. That game had so much content that I could only finish up to 88% of the contents. Too bad I had to start from KH II since the first installment was never out in my country (or hardly, for which I might've missed it). Then my PS2 broke and never really got the chance to play it again. Now I have the game downloaded, but I don't think I'll ever find the time to emulate it.

I remember trying to 100% that game. Fuck you, Jiminy Cricket.

You guys remember the literary magazine I mentioned? All of the content has finally been decided on. We just need to put the damn thing together now and get several hundred copies printed out. If you submitted, you should have gotten either an acceptance letter or a rejection letter by now. If not, you should send an email to the address I posted a month or two ago, or let me know and I could see what's up.

So. Did anyone submit anything?

EDIT: I misspoke. Not all letters have been sent out yet. If you haven't gotten one by Monday PST however, then you should definitely be concerned.

Sorry d, I procrastinated too long and my schedule got the better of me. Perhaps next time...

Don't worry about it! Although, had you submitted something on par with the things I've seen you post on here, I think you would have stood a good chance of making it in.

Update on the thing I mentioned - I'm currently writing the lore of the story's world. The thing below is merely the minions of vampires. It's probably terrible, but I like doing this, so it's okay. There will most likely be some grammar issues. Then again, I wrote this over a couple nights, so I was probably tired. Tell me what you think, and if you have any suggestions - By all means, post them!

I like the scientific approach you're taking to it. You don't see that a lot with this kind of story. At least, I don't.

I'm not too crazy about the substance being called Soul Reaper. I can see where might get the name from, but it feels out of place with the approach that you're taking and next to words like hypothalamus. By all means, keep Soul Reaper if you like it, but I would go with something more pseudo-scientific sounding.

Dr. Akibara's note is cool. I like the idea that it's actually relatively easy to break the hold the vampire has over someone, but that substance still remains and can easily be re-activated.

It looks like the Jinrou's Soul Reaper is a lot more potent than the regular kind. You mention it takes affect within seconds, which is faster than 20 seconds but not by that much. What I'm trying to get at is, if normal Soul Reaper took a longer time to take affect, say a minute or two, the difference in strength would more obvious; it would make the Jinrous seem that much more powerful. Of course, I know jack shit about Jinrous other than the fact their Soul Reaper is stronger.

It could also lend itself to a sequence where a character gets bit, and now they have some time to maybe do something to prevent themselves from turning into a nearly brain-dead slave, but they gotta work fast.

I'm not saying 20 seconds for normal Soul Reaper sucks, a couple minutes is better. Again, if that's what you wanna do, then go for it. This is just what popped into my head while reading your post. Hell, maybe it's impossible for people to stop themselves from turning into a Vessel once they get bitten, and they can only be saved after they've turned. Maybe you don't want Junrous to be that much more powerful than regular vampires.

Now that I think about it, that name does fail to fit in. I'm bad when it comes to thinking out (nick)names for stuff, though, so I don't have much of an idea for a replacement name. Heck, that's the reason for my current username - I'm terrible at doing usernames, so I just typed in the first thing that came to my head.


I thought about not making the effects pop up as soon as 20 seconds pass. Instead, they would just slowly become more intense over the course of a few minutes, until the victim finally passes out. There would be no way to stop the infection before it turns such a person, though. Something a'la a zombie infection, I suppose.

Also - Yes, the Jinrou (also, that's just a placeholder name, kudos if you catch the reference) are supposed to be more powerful than a regular vampire. Much more powerful, in fact. I'm not gonna try to make it scientific at the moment (I'll try doing that over the course of this weekend), but they can walk in sunlight, they do not need to sleep for a much longer time than a regular human being, they're stronger, faster, they regenerate damage faster than a normal vampire, and their skin/bones become so durable, that killing them without special measures becomes much more difficult. However, they would be extremely rare in that world. Their total population might even be less than 500 on the entire planet. That would give about 2-3 Jinrou per a country.

Oh! Hi, I'm kind of a recluse on the forums unless I have free time. As of recently, I've had plenty. I agree with d, the scientific approach is wonderful. It's like a nice beastiary that appears every time you encounter a new monster in games. I don't really have too many qualms other than the overall strength aspect. It would seem that there is little hope for humanity if even the vampires' servants prove to be a considerable challenge. Though, you have yet to reveal humanity's arsenal, so I could be completely wrong! My only other complaint is SR. Soul Reaper seems an odd choice for the name of a chemical substance. I can understand the choice, due to its effects of robbing a person of free will, but a name with relation to a type of poison might sound better. Maybe something like Nox Toxin, or Sanguine Fluid? Haha, both of those sound quite awful as well! Sorry for not being a bigger help.