How Women Score Men.
0
In the world of romance, one single rule applies to men:
Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that’s the way the game is played.
Here is a guide to the point system:
SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed +1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows 0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets -1
You leave the toilet seat up -5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty 0
When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex -1
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom -2
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings +5
in the snow +8
but return with beer -5
and no liners -25
You check out a suspicious noise at night 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something +5
You pummel it with a six iron +10
It’s her cat -40
AT THE PARTY
You stay by her side the entire party 0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a work colleague -2
Named Tiffany -4
Tiffany is a dancer -10
With breast implants -18
A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
You take her to a movie +2
You take her to a movie she likes +4
You take her to a movie you hate +6
You take her to a movie you like -2
Its called Death Cop III -3
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans -9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans -15
YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable beer gut -15
You develop a noticeable beer gut; exercise to get rid of It +10
You develop a noticeable beer gut and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts -30
You say, it doesn’t matter, she has one too -800
THE BIG QUESTION (She asks, Does this dress make me look fat?)
You hesitate in responding -10
You reply, Where? -35
You reply, No, I think it’s your **** -100
Any other response -20
COMMUNICATION (When she wants to talk about a problem)
You listen, displaying a concerned expression 0
You listen, for over 30 minutes +5
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience +50
You’re mind wanders to the football and you suddenly hear her saying well, what do you think I should do? -100
You have fallen asleep -200
IT’S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH……
You talk -100
You don’t talk -150
You spend time with her -200
You don’t spend time with her -500
You are seen to be enjoying yourself -700
Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that’s the way the game is played.
Here is a guide to the point system:
SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed +1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows 0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets -1
You leave the toilet seat up -5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty 0
When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex -1
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom -2
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings +5
in the snow +8
but return with beer -5
and no liners -25
You check out a suspicious noise at night 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something +5
You pummel it with a six iron +10
It’s her cat -40
AT THE PARTY
You stay by her side the entire party 0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a work colleague -2
Named Tiffany -4
Tiffany is a dancer -10
With breast implants -18
A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
You take her to a movie +2
You take her to a movie she likes +4
You take her to a movie you hate +6
You take her to a movie you like -2
Its called Death Cop III -3
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans -9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans -15
YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable beer gut -15
You develop a noticeable beer gut; exercise to get rid of It +10
You develop a noticeable beer gut and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts -30
You say, it doesn’t matter, she has one too -800
THE BIG QUESTION (She asks, Does this dress make me look fat?)
You hesitate in responding -10
You reply, Where? -35
You reply, No, I think it’s your **** -100
Any other response -20
COMMUNICATION (When she wants to talk about a problem)
You listen, displaying a concerned expression 0
You listen, for over 30 minutes +5
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience +50
You’re mind wanders to the football and you suddenly hear her saying well, what do you think I should do? -100
You have fallen asleep -200
IT’S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH……
You talk -100
You don’t talk -150
You spend time with her -200
You don’t spend time with her -500
You are seen to be enjoying yourself -700
0
Hahahahah so ur saying there is no way to make a woman happy if she asks you if she is fat or if shes on her period?
0
Rbz wrote...
So how many points do I have to get before I can finally fuck the bitch?One hundred points will score you a single fuck. Much like scoring a hundred coins in Mario Bros. will score you an extra life.
However, there is a cheat code that allows you to bypass this: Vodka, Vodka, Smirnoff, Vodka, Smirnoff, Smirnoff. If entered correctly on the first date you can pass all the bullshit and skip to the end.
0
StrayDog wrote...
If entered correctlyOh. I heard typing in the word "rape" was the ultimate cheat code for getting laid.
0
THE BIG QUESTION (She asks, Does this dress make me look fat?)
This is an impossible question to answer because no matter what you say she ain't gonna like or want to hear it.
This is an impossible question to answer because no matter what you say she ain't gonna like or want to hear it.
0
Yorozuya wrote...
THE BIG QUESTION (She asks, Does this dress make me look fat?)This is an impossible question to answer because no matter what you say she ain't gonna like or want to hear it.
what you say to that is
maybe it does to some people hunny , but to me you look beautiful in it
this line has never failed me yet
0
elfen lied wrote...
Yorozuya wrote...
THE BIG QUESTION (She asks, Does this dress make me look fat?)This is an impossible question to answer because no matter what you say she ain't gonna like or want to hear it.
what you say to that is
maybe it does to some people hunny , but to me you look beautiful in it
this line has never failed me yet
Nice advice I'll have to try that.
0
StrayDog wrote...
IT’S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH……You talk -100
You don’t talk -150
You spend time with her -200
You don’t spend time with her -500
You are seen to be enjoying yourself -700
Using this logic, would letting your girl/wife beat the shit out of you give you maybe 1 point? Maybe 5 if you take a kick in the balls?
0
HentaiScholor wrote...
StrayDog wrote...
IT’S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH……You talk -100
You don’t talk -150
You spend time with her -200
You don’t spend time with her -500
You are seen to be enjoying yourself -700
Using this logic, would letting your girl/wife beat the shit out of you give you maybe 1 point? Maybe 5 if you take a kick in the balls?
If you take a kick in the balls you get -5 for showing how unmanly you are for letting someone kick you in the balls.
0
This is true. I value my balls much more than I do any girl.
With the exception of Megan Fox, I'd take one to the groin if it meant scoring with her.
With the exception of Megan Fox, I'd take one to the groin if it meant scoring with her.
0
Rbz wrote...
StrayDog wrote...
If entered correctlyOh. I heard typing in the word "rape" was the ultimate cheat code for getting laid.
LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL
nyce one
0
even though the odds seem to be against us (guys), if u just play close attention, play your cards right and use your tokens (kinda like get out of jail free [monopoly]) in the right way u might just get to da 100 points (its easier if u memorize her period [u may notice those day by da look in her eyes or in what she eats, like how much chocolate or carbs]) or save them for later {like saying ure not in the mood or say u feel tired and just want to talk, that mught gat u an extra 5% bonus} ;)
0
i'm not sure if i score men that way... a few of them are probably true but other than that.. not really... i guess the only one i would care about would probably be... the beer gut? and maybe leaving me by myself at a party (i prefer not to go to parties, so if i do go and you leave me alone there by myself, i wouldn't know what to do o_o)
