JOKE-OFF
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A little kid gets home and says:
-mom, mom a stupid lady got hit with a car..............mom mom momy MOOOOOOM
-mom, mom a stupid lady got hit with a car..............mom mom momy MOOOOOOM
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Longevity wrote...
Here I sit all broken heartedTried to shit but only farted
2 hours later took a chance
Went to fart but shit my pants
Clap,Clap,Clap you win sir
Heres my joke
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:
"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"
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You hear the one about a girl who went fishing with 6 guys?
You hear the one about the pedophile who skipped breakfast?
Little boy blue-
How do you get a baby out of a tree?
What's the best part of fucking a 4-year old?
What's black and white and red all over?
-Yo momma so ugly, when she was born, doctor thought he was looking at the wrong hole.
-Funny thing, when you're with a woman- she'll straighten you out, and you bend her over.
Spoiler:
You hear the one about the pedophile who skipped breakfast?
Spoiler:
Little boy blue-
Spoiler:
How do you get a baby out of a tree?
Spoiler:
What's the best part of fucking a 4-year old?
Spoiler:
What's black and white and red all over?
Spoiler:
-Yo momma so ugly, when she was born, doctor thought he was looking at the wrong hole.
-Funny thing, when you're with a woman- she'll straighten you out, and you bend her over.