Mountain of Mystery

"Clever human..." she wrote down 'human heart' on a piece of paper and tucked into... well she tucked into a safe place. (IN HER BEWBZ!)
"I can't guise myself as human without a heart you know..."
The witch kept her promise and healed you of your wounds.


True to form you fall into the hands of yet another potential death too soon after the other. Seriously what is with this mountain? It's as if it was created for the sole purpose of torturing you with stupid monsters and even stupider riddles...
"Who are calling stupid?"
You didn't say stupid...
"I know you didn't say it, I heard it in your head!"
Say what? This bitch can read minds? No way...
"Yes Way!"
She shoots an arrow into your knee.
Damnit! You just got that fixed!
"You consorted with the witch! Now prove to me aren't a threat!"
Well she can read your mind so it's not like you have to much of anything to prove that...
"Wrong! You have to answer me a riddle!"
GOD DAMN IT!
"I hear everything inside and outside of my prison, but I can only touch the inside of it. I will die outside of my prison until I've served my sentence. I am alone in here... but I am never alone.
Who am i?"

...Are you making these up now?

1) The mind (well, brain to be more specific)
2) The soul
3) A cell? (like the ones that comprise of the tissue and organs of a body, and not referring to single-cell creatures.)

That's all I've got...

I made up almost all of them. If I didn't do that, they could be easily looked up online.

You thought you answered correctly, until she shot you in your other knee. The archer leaves you to bleed to death, but luckily for you, you don't.


As you hobble your way back to where you last saw the witch, thinking that she might heal you again, you lose your way and come across a magical being of a different nature... a sylph. You ask her to help you. She sings to you...
"It is by my grace that you go blind,
though it's easy to deny me.
Shut me up or hide me, the choice is yours to make.
I think without me you will find,
it hurts to be without me.
To see me is to see nothing, but I live for your sake.
Who am I?"

Answers: 1) I'm going to die on this mountain.
2) I'm going to die on this mountain.
3) I'm going to die a virgin on this mountain.

lol, seriously... these are getting harder... kudos.

True Answers: 1) Sleep
2) The Sun (I mean, if you look at the Sun, you will go blind. lol)
3) Love? (Because most people say that when people are in love, they are blind to things around them.)

haha, well you're just thinking to metaphorically and with too broad a subject. Think just a little more specifically. The slyph tells you in this one, so it's not a big loss.

"Your answers fall short of my kind,
with the answer plain to see.
It's understood that you, would make such a mistake.
Though your cleverness somewhat shined,
your eyes can not quite see.
Right in front of them lies the truth... preventing that you wake."

huh? what?

"your eyelids dumbass! Seriously!! I try to put a musical twist on the riddle, but no one ever gets it! EVERYONE'S A CRITIC!!!"

The sylph storms off rather upset. Looks like not everything on the mountain means to do you harm... but she certainly could have helped you with your knee problem... oh well.



Out of a nearby pond comes a mermaid.
"Oh thank you stranger, You drove her off! Here, let me help you with that."
She tends to your wounds as she tells you the long and boring story off her suffering on the mountain.
The gist of it is that like you... she's also stuck here, but because she's a mermaid, she can't get off as easily, not that it's easy with legs anyway. Her only option is the river, but she can't get their without answering the river beasts riddle. You remember him right? The answer was "a map." This time it's a different riddle though.
"Take me with you always, lest you wound your pride.
Follow me and I, will keep you by my side.
Listen to me, and you will be...
safe, should you abide.
What am I?"

What will you tell the mermaid?

Really? It was eyelids?
. . .
I would have never guessed. Truly, because I thought all riddles were cryptic in nature.

I will help her, as it is a gentleman's duty.
1) The law
2) Your gut instincts?
3) Conscience
I hope one of these answers will serve her well.

Truly, I hope one of them is right. lol ^^

no, but many are so that the answer can seem obvious when you know it but cryptic when you don't.

Ah, no for this you just have to tell her the answer, or don't.

I did. I gave her my three guesses on the riddle.

I need something more concrete. What is the Law? (there's no law on the Mountain but law local to you could be anything) What are your gut instincts? What does your conscience tell you?

I can't be any more concrete. These are the only things I can think of with that riddle the river beast gave the mermaid. I said I'd help her though.

Oh sorry, I didn't realize those were answers to her riddle. (my bad...)

"Hmmm... I guess that makes sense. I'll go try it! Thanks for you help, I hope you get of the Mountain too!"

You travel safely for a while, but in about an hour or so after meeting the mermaid you here terrible screams coming from the direction of the river...
oops. your bad.

Well, it seems to be that all of the worst things the Mountain has to throw at you have landed.



Yes. definitely. This has to be the BEST thing the Mountain has!
You find a naked elf. She seems lost and confused. Naturally as a good person you take it upon yourself to take advantage of her the situation to seduce help her. You ask her if you can help.
"Never before have I seen one of you.
Elf? no... Human? perhaps...
What with me do you intend to do?
Aid? Mishaps?"

You gently explain that you mean no ill will and only offer your assistence should she need it.

"well... I seem to have lost my memory
with nothing but a note to help find it.
I know nothing but that my name is Emory...
I can know what is now, and hope to know more, but nothing that is behind it."

Right... even when not asking riddles she rhymes...

The note reads, "to Emory...
You've lost your mind, your marbles gone.
Don't bother looking, we've already destroyed it.
You're too much trouble to kill, and we can't let you live...
We've no choice but to change the way you live."

This is no help...

"There's something on the back of the note too." said the naked elf.

It says,
"answer this and regain you mind.
clarity a thing of ease.
'what makes a fish sneeze?'"

The only thing my mind says is this:

I wanna fuck her. I wanna fuck her. I wanna fuck her. I wanna fuck her. I wanna fuck her. I wanna fuck her. I wanna fuck her. I wanna fuck her. I wanna fuck her.

Seriously. That's all.

But the only answer I can think of is pepper water.

Congrats! You successfully seduce the elf!!!
Your die hard, can do attitude was a huge turn on!
You fuck like crazy!

However, fish don't sneeze. Trick question. They didn't want her to remember of course.

Later you find out that during sex you somehow got poison oak AND poison ivy all over... ALL over...



Somehow you manage your way back into the colder plains of the Mountain. You remember that last time you were here, nothing was going terribly wrong, although you were frickin' cold. You come upon o hot spring and decide to sooth you poisoned skin and still bloody knees in the water. Up creeps a pair of fox, one of which decides not to be a fox anymore and changes into a young child.
"Do you want to bath here?"
Obviously yes, you do.
"You'll have to pay to bath here."
You don't have any money.
"That's ok. I'm just playing. Want to here a riddle?"
You see no reason why not to play along. Upsetting her certainly wasn't going to do you any good.
"ok, here goes...
I was at the beginning of Satan, and will be at the end of gods. You cannot express history without me, yet I am in the nowhere in time. I am in every transcription, but not in one documentation.
What am I?"

If anyone can answer, then I would like to weigh in.

The answer is: The letter 'S'

yup, at this point it's a free for all. whoever posts first get their answers used.

"You got it! To be honest, I was going to eat you if you didn't get it. Dad says I'm supposed to trick people and eat them, but you're too smart. Maybe when I'm older I'll have better luck.
It was fun playing with You! Bye!"

You spend some more time in the hot spring. It must have restorative properties because your skin's all healed and your knees feel a lot better. You can walk a little faster now.



This is B. Harmony Jaggerluck. Anyone who knows him calls him the bone creeper. Guess what? You don't know him yet, but he knows you...
((not a riddle yet, just foreshadowing for a bigger plot))

Since you've had nothing but pleasant company and a hot bath since coming to the frozen tops of the Mountain you decide to stay a little longer, and who to your surprise do you meet?



Santa of course!
You ask him if he can help you get off of the mountain.



"whaz 'at? You 'anna fIght?!"

Santas been drinking...
You correct him and ask again to get off of the Mountain.
"Naw, Iyl only take yous if you can answewr a riddle... Themz da rulez.

Wun side runs, the uther falls.., (hic)
Make me a fool, and Iyl schop your hand... (wait no, that's not it.)
Um... Make me a sandwich..., and Iyl (nope...)
Oh!
Wake me up whith aaaa... sun-lite.
I can not move with owt my walls
Because you'd get 'll wet.
What izit?!"