My Friend Had A Weird Dream...

Lalala had another weird dream this morning. it was really long, I only remember this part:

The teacher from Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei was dressed up like a school girl and someone kept spanking ass. So everyone was trying to figure out who it was. They held a commitee meeting trying to figure out how his ass kept getting spanked. No matter who spanked him, it wasn't the same as the hand shaped mark he got on his ass.

Then the principal, who was some fat old guy, came dressed in a thong. And he was like, "was it like this?!" and he bent over and showed him some spank marks on his ass. And Zetsubou was like, "Hot DAMN, I didn't realize I spanked myself so hard!"

And there was dramatic music and everyone stared at him. And so he got embarrased and ran off to spank himself again.

And for some reason, I was Kafuka, and i chased after him in hopes to see him spank himself for erotic reasons. As he was running away, he kept throwing stuff at me, like my annoying little cousin and my friend Gloria. Gloria came charging at me with a desk, but I did this sweet ass flip over it and punched her in the stomach along the process.

Well, she dropped to the ground and started crying. And I was like

OMFG I'M SO SORRY I DIDN'T MEAN TO HIT YOU SO HARD
And she was like NO IT'S JUST THAT SHARK WEEK IS A BITCH AND I MISS YOU

And I was like I MISS YOU TOO

So I picked her up and ran to this random patio thing where my other friends Vivian and Luna popped up and we had this touching 'yay friends' moment.

And Luna was like Since we're all here, we should go finish watching that movie

So we went inside a screen door by the patio and they were watching some movie about a really hot/young maid who disguises herself as a schoolgirl for some reason I can't remember, and at school she meets this slave boy/her adopted son that she used to work with, but he forgot his memory. So she calls him 'Peath' and he remembers, because for some reason he was named after mountains and it jogged his memory (not sure what 'peath' has to do with mountains, but whatever).

So my friends rewind the movie to the beginning so I can see all of it.

It`s about this hot maid who works for this wealthy family. Actually, the maid in the dream was the maid I saw in a hentai a long time ago (don`t watch it, trust me. This is what she looks like btw).

Anyway, it's a clasic story about lady who marries wealthy old husband who totally ignores her, and they have some fat bratty kid together. And so the maid takes care of the little kid. Then there's some slave boy that works there that she sorta adopts as her son (see above).

Anyway, so one night some random dudes come and break in, and the main 'boss' confronts the wife. The guy points out that no one will save her because her husband doesn't even live with him, so who cdares about her?

The wife has some weird code for danger, so she goes ALALALALAA to alert the maid. The maid wakes up (her son is sleeping next to her), and she gets some fake tiny pistol was well as a switchblade that she hides in her garter. She's on the second floor, while the wife/burglars are on the first.

Then she pokes her head out by the balcony, and goes "may i come out?" ( I guess another signal), and a shot goes by her head. The maid advances towards the stairs with a gun in her hand so the guy doesn't shoot her. but her finger accidentally slips because she's nervous, so the guy realizes that it's fake.

Then the maid tries to act all toguh and shit, and is like Well, what do you want?

And the guy is like Well I've already taken all of this old broad's jewelrly, but she's not really a fine piece of ass you know? I mean, look at this bi-

And the maid sighs and is like Yeah I get it, you have some maid fetish. Let's just get this over and done with, eh?

(And in this dream I'm seeing everything from the maid's POV, so I know she's planning on stabbing/castrating him while she has sex with him)

So he starts to go upstairs but she's like No, can we go somewhere else? My son is asleep up there.

So they go by the courtyard under a light, and he takes a bottle of whiskey on the way out. And she thinks 'how the hell am I supposed to stab him out here? I'll get caught for sure' so she says Why don't we go somewhere more secluded? And he shoots her a suspicious look she she tries to act all cute/embarrassed and she's like I mean, what if someone sees us?

Anyway the guy opens the whiskey bottle and starts talking about some crap i don't remember about, I think it had to do about how stars are realted to life. Anyway, she cuts him off with a kiss. And for some reason, he's turned into a shrub now. (Don't ask me why, in the dream it was totally normal so I don't even knwo)
So now that he's some weird shrub thing, she has difficulty finding his face. It turns out she kissed his leg. She's like (man, these guys are so tricky to deal with)
Anyway, she finds the face, which is a picture of a face taped to the top of the man-shaped shrub. So she starts to make out with him, and for some reason he's still alive so he makes out with her too

And I'm thinking FFFFF this is going to be hot

AND THEN MY FUCKING ALARM WOKE ME UP