RAAAAGE. Ever felt like a last resort?
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I've noticed certain friends--if you can call them that--refuse to talk to me or text me until they're upset. This is fine with me, because I sort of enjoy being able to be around for people and cheer them up. What bothers me though, is when I find out they're only talking to me because nobody else is around for them. For example, here's a very brief convo that occurred via text messaging today:
She: I am sad.
I: Why? Details please.
(Hate it when people speak to me but avoid details. Prolongs the conversation because then I have to request the details.)
She: My boyfriend is gone, my internet is down and I have no friends to hang with.
Ohhhhh. So is this why you talk to me every few days, because you only need me when all else is gone? I told her about it before, but I forget how she replied. It's not that big a deal, but I rather not be talked to when and only when everything and everyone else fails you.
Always the last resort. Am I alone in this?
-HentaiElder
p.s. Fakku isn't live journal, lol.. but shit. Share your stories if you have any.
Also, I know I might not be a last resort, but it feels that way.
She: I am sad.
I: Why? Details please.
(Hate it when people speak to me but avoid details. Prolongs the conversation because then I have to request the details.)
She: My boyfriend is gone, my internet is down and I have no friends to hang with.
Ohhhhh. So is this why you talk to me every few days, because you only need me when all else is gone? I told her about it before, but I forget how she replied. It's not that big a deal, but I rather not be talked to when and only when everything and everyone else fails you.
Always the last resort. Am I alone in this?
-HentaiElder
p.s. Fakku isn't live journal, lol.. but shit. Share your stories if you have any.
Also, I know I might not be a last resort, but it feels that way.
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I've noticed that myself AKA happens to me.
I'm rather intimidating though so thats probably why people don't typically come to me with their problems first.
I'm rather intimidating though so thats probably why people don't typically come to me with their problems first.
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She: My boyfriend is gone, my internet is down and I have no friends to hang with.
You: Suck it bitch, I don't have time for this.
You: Suck it bitch, I don't have time for this.
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Lamz0r wrote...
You: Suck it bitch, I don't have time for this.Lol. I find it hard to say things like this, outside of my head. Not for fear of how a person will react to me, but out of concern that feelings will be hurt if I say what's really on my mind.
@Harmonian
You are pretty intimidating.
On a serious note, thanks for posting a seemingly serious response.
Glad you can relate.
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I guess I would say I am more like a last resort type, since its difficult talking to me. Im not surprised or offended though, I think it is to be expected. However, there are of course people who would/do not classify me as such; they may be of an ultra rare class but they exist
Well for me, once it makes sense that the situation is like it I will stop initiating copnversations with the person. I think it is only logical for me not to waste time on such when I should be giving it to others. Reciprocate, if Im such to you, then youre such to me.
Hope you feel better elder
Well for me, once it makes sense that the situation is like it I will stop initiating copnversations with the person. I think it is only logical for me not to waste time on such when I should be giving it to others. Reciprocate, if Im such to you, then youre such to me.
Hope you feel better elder
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Actually it's the opposite for me. I'm not the last person they go to but the first if they had any problems. But the problem here is, they only talk to me if they have a problem. Whether your the last resort of the first, it's all the same.
It's great that people think I'm reliable for these sorts of situations but it also sucks at the same time. I'm not your psychologist bitch! Maybe I should start charging them everytime they had a problem..
@HentaiElder
Don't feel too bad about it.. Sometimes being the last resort is not too bad because in the end, they know they can always rely on you. Personally, I like knowing the fact that people think I'm a reliable friend. Don't let them get too dependent on you though.
It's great that people think I'm reliable for these sorts of situations but it also sucks at the same time. I'm not your psychologist bitch! Maybe I should start charging them everytime they had a problem..
@HentaiElder
Don't feel too bad about it.. Sometimes being the last resort is not too bad because in the end, they know they can always rely on you. Personally, I like knowing the fact that people think I'm a reliable friend. Don't let them get too dependent on you though.
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People come to me until I get them into deeper shit. Then they suddenly stop. =/ I feel your pain, bro.
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tsuyoshiro
FAKKU Writer
It's not really a last resort thing, but mostly people talk to me whenever they have problems and need someone to talk to. Not when they want to go out somewhere and have fun, or if something good happened, but just for the bad stuff. Apparently I'm a great listener, but not good for much else.
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I don't care if I'm a last resort or not with most people, as long as they know I'm here to help if and when they need it.
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HentaiElder wrote...
She: I am sad.
I: Why? Details please.
(Hate it when people speak to me but avoid details. Prolongs the conversation because then I have to request the details.)
She: My boyfriend is gone, my internet is down and I have no friends to hang with.
This sounds very similar to what I experienced.
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Space Cowboy wrote...
I don't care if I'm a last resort or not with most people, as long as they know I'm here to help if and when they need it.This, plus it's not like I'm around enough to be anyone's first resort (anyone online at least).
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HentaiElder wrote...
Lamz0r wrote...
You: Suck it bitch, I don't have time for this.Lol. I find it hard to say things like this, outside of my head. Not for fear of how a person will react to me, but out of concern that feelings will be hurt if I say what's really on my mind.
This is tl;dr version of it... seriously, is they contact you only as a last resort, something like this is the right answer.
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@Ruffy:
Sucks. Feel free to explain what actually happened in your situation, if you want. Or not. Either way I think I understand. You did say it was something similar, after all.
@Ash: Yeah. I prefer a relationship (Not just sexual, but even friendly or dating) that has a level of reciprocity. When I'm only talked to when a person needs help and rarely at any other point, I sometimes feel a lack of desire to help. I don't like the idea of being used as a backup.
Oh and my title/post may have been misleading. I'm perfectly fine now and was then. But thanks for voicing concern/well-wishes.
@Redjest:
Yeah, I know what you mean. When talking to people who are complaining, feeling down, or have a problem.. I often feel like a psychiatrist of a sort. A non-legit psychiatrist, seeing how I don't study how the human mind works, but a psychiatrist none-the-less. Sometimes I like it, sometimes I don't. It depends on my relationship to the person and if they come to me only when upset.
@Rai:
That almost seems worst than my situation, if you actually get them into "deeper shit". Eh, but that's life. Honestly, not too much of a big deal to me that people can be that way.. rely on you and suddenly leave you when they don't need you or things worsen.. but it can get annoying.
@Tsuyoshiro:
Yeah, I definitely know what you mean by that. Sometimes it's not just listening though. Sometimes it's lending someone a hand, doing someone a favor, but never anything that they'd do with their closer friends. In a way it's nice to feel reliable (as Redjest had said) and know that people are counting on you, but sometimes there's that "What if.. I am a last resort or what if I am being used?" set of questions. Well, in my case anyway. I tend to over-analyze things.
@Space and Ramsus:
Haha. You two are like heroes or something. Anime characters. With the good morals and willingness to help.. and that being all that matters.
And yeah Ramsus, you don't seem to be around very much. Still haven't seen you on IRC. Guessing you won't be back.
@Lamzor and BlackCat1/2:
I think you two are right and I've actually tried to distance myself from certain people time and time again. Sometimes it works, by just not dealing with them or telling them "off". They'll stop talking to me and the relationship is over.
Other times they don't really want to listen and feel a need to pursue a relationship (even if it's as I described in my first post). I don't mind it all that much, but yeah... it can get me thinking.
Anyway thanks for replying everyone. At times like this, when I feel I received enough feedback, I sometimes wish I could close my thread. Or at least "Sage" it to keep from bumping it.
Sucks. Feel free to explain what actually happened in your situation, if you want. Or not. Either way I think I understand. You did say it was something similar, after all.
@Ash: Yeah. I prefer a relationship (Not just sexual, but even friendly or dating) that has a level of reciprocity. When I'm only talked to when a person needs help and rarely at any other point, I sometimes feel a lack of desire to help. I don't like the idea of being used as a backup.
Oh and my title/post may have been misleading. I'm perfectly fine now and was then. But thanks for voicing concern/well-wishes.
@Redjest:
Yeah, I know what you mean. When talking to people who are complaining, feeling down, or have a problem.. I often feel like a psychiatrist of a sort. A non-legit psychiatrist, seeing how I don't study how the human mind works, but a psychiatrist none-the-less. Sometimes I like it, sometimes I don't. It depends on my relationship to the person and if they come to me only when upset.
@Rai:
That almost seems worst than my situation, if you actually get them into "deeper shit". Eh, but that's life. Honestly, not too much of a big deal to me that people can be that way.. rely on you and suddenly leave you when they don't need you or things worsen.. but it can get annoying.
@Tsuyoshiro:
Yeah, I definitely know what you mean by that. Sometimes it's not just listening though. Sometimes it's lending someone a hand, doing someone a favor, but never anything that they'd do with their closer friends. In a way it's nice to feel reliable (as Redjest had said) and know that people are counting on you, but sometimes there's that "What if.. I am a last resort or what if I am being used?" set of questions. Well, in my case anyway. I tend to over-analyze things.
@Space and Ramsus:
Haha. You two are like heroes or something. Anime characters. With the good morals and willingness to help.. and that being all that matters.
And yeah Ramsus, you don't seem to be around very much. Still haven't seen you on IRC. Guessing you won't be back.
@Lamzor and BlackCat1/2:
I think you two are right and I've actually tried to distance myself from certain people time and time again. Sometimes it works, by just not dealing with them or telling them "off". They'll stop talking to me and the relationship is over.
Other times they don't really want to listen and feel a need to pursue a relationship (even if it's as I described in my first post). I don't mind it all that much, but yeah... it can get me thinking.
Anyway thanks for replying everyone. At times like this, when I feel I received enough feedback, I sometimes wish I could close my thread. Or at least "Sage" it to keep from bumping it.
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Rbz wrote...
Aren't I your last resort, or is it first resort?No, you're more like. Hmm. You're like this guy.
But not in the annoying way. You pop up out of the blue and give me advice. But yes, I did go to you once, before making an official return. That's because I trusted you most to give sound advice and not bullshit me about whether or not I should bother coming back to this place.
Mmm. I don't like complaining though, so I wouldn't really call you a resort or anything. You are like an adviser/psychiatrist, however.
But not in the annoying way. You pop up out of the blue and give me advice. But yes, I did go to you once, before making an official return. That's because I trusted you most to give sound advice and not bullshit me about whether or not I should bother coming back to this place.
Mmm. I don't like complaining though, so I wouldn't really call you a resort or anything. You are like an adviser/psychiatrist, however.
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HentaiElder wrote...
You are like an adviser/psychiatrist, however.Speaking of which, you have been taking your medicine, right?
