The MILF and I

Actually, just the M applies, because I didn't fuck her.

At the pub with my pals- as per usual on Wednesdays (it's Wing Night)- and a girl two years my senior was there. It was fun times, since she also went to my highschool- so we shot the shit; she's the mother of two and single, but also a purported lesbian (or so she claims- she was pretty damned touchy-feely with me and my friends all night).

Anyways, turns out that she's a bit of a lightweight- three rum & cokes and she's whooping like a crane. Bar's almost empty, it's 2:30 in the morning. I offer to take her home, since she's clearly out of her gourd.

Get to her place. No go. She forgot her keys at a friends place. *LeSigh*

Drive back into town, wake up the friend, ask if she could stay the night. No go (kinda figured- her apartment's tiny). Drive her back to her place, she invites me in repeatedly throughout the evening, I staunchly refuse. Drop her off, leave.

Get back to my place. 4:15 in the morning.


Long story short: I don't sleep with women who are piss drunk.

Because that would be rape.

But your horny bastard switch is still on

Actually, the main reason why I made the topic was just to express my exasperation that we dudes had to babysit this woman for about three hours. Fairly intolerable drunk; overbearing and self-important. Hardcore feminist (sexism was a heavy topic of conversation throughout the night) and a whole lot of "I can take care of myself. Don't coddle me just because I'm a woman." That sort of thing- which is fine- but she clearly couldn't. She became the very picture of everything that she disdained. Desperate Housewife/Jersey Shore/White Trash/etc.

She's just lucky that it was us who stuck around, because a good number of guys in the roundabouts would have jumped all over her (it's kind of a sleazy area).



I have an override. Called Plain Sense.

You are a Gentleman, Jack.


(I would have left her drunk at her door)

Such a gentleman.

I woulda fuck her.

Good man. I expect nothing less, Jacky Boy.

Is this a personal blog thread?

I read Milf in the title was interested...

Thank Allah at least one person was responsible that evening.

Eh.

Bitches love the gentlemanly type.

Your too nice mate~

.... but then again i have the same rule :/

[font=Verdana]You would've fucked her in the car.

But then again, you're responsible enough not to.

Kudos.[/font]

So, she came back, and was just as randy as before.

Rundown of the full situation:

-She's engaged
-She's Bi
-She has a kid
-She hasn't gotten laid in some while (I suspect the fella may be cheating)
-She's a lightweight, and kinda crazy

-Myself, one of my best buds, and another close friend of ours were stuck babysitting her again.
-My buddy has a girlfriend, is staunchly loyal, and wouldn't touch her with a stolen dick.
-I'm single, but have standards. Drunk, engaged, with child, and kinda crazy do not qualify.


-Our other pal (We'll call him Pancake), on the other hand, has been alone for a long time. Not a virgin- but it's been a few years.
-He outright admits that he'd sleep with pretty much anyone at this point.


So.


She was back at our usual dive tonight, and was soon as loopy as a crazy straw. Getting pretty touchy-feely and all that.

Our friend was pretty far gone, too (prone to depression, he tends to drink quite some).

Ergo, soon enough, they start becoming quite absorbed into one another. My pal- being already in a relationship- and myself, who desires none of that mess- went to great lengths to avoid her as much as possible. We consider ourselves fairly decent people- but we are also strong believers of accountability and alumni of the School of Hard Knocks; she came back, they're both drunk, they both clearly want some jiggy-jiggy doo-doo. If they choose to open up that can of worms- that's their mess. We have nothing to do with it.


So the bar closes and we all head back together (my pal was the driver this time- we carpool. Saves gas). For the whole ride she kept inviting our friend back to her place. To sleep over. Offers to make him pancakes for breakfast. My pal and I are greatly amused and sire him with the new name of Pancake. She also keeps bringing up how she hasn't had sex in a while. And that she loves sucking cock.

Needless to say, Pancake is quite confused.


Anyways- after about a half-hour to get to her place (all the while with her talking about her deprived sex-life and pancakes, and us making sexual innuendos on said pancakes with Pancake), we finally arrive. We drop her off- and she makes several more attempts to invite Pancake in to stay the night. He strongly considers it.

But finally- his good sense gets the better of him and he declines.

We drive away. Us two laughing our asses off, and yet proud that he made the right choice by not sticking his dick in crazy. Himself as confused and frustrated as a hyperactive cat in a room full of mirrors and trampolines.


And so ends another episode with Mme Crazy.

Andre should have some stories involving milfs.

Stay classy, Jack.

[size=14][color=black][font=Times New Roman]Respect to you and your friends for not sticking your dick in it. Hope you lot continue to maintain that level of integrity, god knows we need more people like that.[/font][/color][/h]

Good man. Honestly, if my friend was getting desperate with a taken/ engaged woman, I would probably punch him/ stop him from going there. I feel I have a duty of care for my friends not to do stupid ass shit when they are drunk. It would get him in a whole lot of shit, no doubt.
Regardless, you did good jack. you did good.