The Rules of Hentai
-1
Okay, after looking at a LOT of hentai, I've realized that there are certain things that hold true in almost every hentai out there. SO, in a fit of boredom, I decided to make the list of things you can expect a hentai to do. Note that this is nowhere near complete, and help by adding more rules afterward. Also note that this is based ONLY on the hentai I have seen. If something doesn't fit in with the hentai you're reading, either you're reading something I haven't, it's not common enough to fit in on the rules, or honestly, you have WAY too high a standard on this. All it is is the cliches I have seen whilst fapping. This does not mean all hentai follow that rule, just a lot of them. With that, let us begin!
1. If sex can happen, it will.
2. If sex cannot happen, it will.
3. The main guy(If there is one.) will have a penis that A)hits her womb, B)Looks big enough to hit her stomach seen from outside, and/or C)is a perfect fit.
4. In a harem situation, if the girls don't know about each other at first, they don't give a flying fuck once they find out, as long as there's going to be group sex.
4a. If one objects, they will give in the second another girl kisses them.
5. Incest is almost always wincest.
5a. Except when there is a span greater than one generation between those involved.
6. When wondering who's going to get fucked when there are several characters, look for the girl who's the most well drawn, and the guy who's the most forgettable.
7. Alcohol=Sex
8. Tentacles are rarely appreciated at first.
9. In vanilla hentai, both will come at the same time.
10. When someone declares their love for another, no matter when declaration occurs, it will always be done in a manner that involves declarer's words needing to be written in either bold font or with at least one exclamation point.
10a. If the declaration is said gently, this is often the signal that the guy is going to be cumming inside the girl.
11. The heir to a big company will ALWAYS have a harem.
12. If a girl discovers a guy's porn collection, she will A)want to try it out(the girl is more often than not a virgin) or B)use it as blackmail to have sex.
13. The most common girls you will see in harem hentai are as follows: The loli, the girl with giant breasts, the twins(identicalness optional), the older woman, the childhood friend, the sisters, and the tsundere.
14. Girls can be tricked into anything involving sex.
15. If a guy forces himself on a girl, and she's a friend, chances are she had a crush on him anyways.
16. "Can I wash your back?"=Hentai code for "Imma fuck your brains out after this."
16a. "NOOOOO, DON'T CUM INSIDE!"=Hentai code for "She's going to be more cream-filled than a Twinkie."
17. In a minor harem situation, you will first be introduced to each girl individually, then they will all end up fucking together.
17a. The exception to this rule is when there is a oneshot in the beginning done in color.
18. When a girl loses her virginity, it hurts, but it's okay, as long as it's XXXXX doing it.
19. If there are big boobs involved, expect paizuri.
20. The rate of incest in Japan, according to hentai, is about 3:1 for.
21. The age of schoolgirls in Hentai is best left to the imagination.
22. Maids in Japan are apparently sex-slaves. Not that anyone is complaining.
23. If you are a hopeless loser with no life, and lacking a girlfriend because you can't speak to girls, you can get laid as long as you have a childhood friend.
23a. Also, you have a pretty good chance of being heir to a large corporation that only needs you to produce another heir.
24. If they come in manga form, you bet your ass they come in doujin form. Not necessarily a vice-versa situation.
25. Vampires don't need blood, semen will do. Blood is a possibility, though.
26. The guy in a hentai can go for hours if he was formerly a virgin.
27. If a girl is turned into a nekomimi, of any animal type, she WILL be in heat.
27a. Said girl will, when turned, only have cat ears and a tail, with a possible "nya!" thrown in somewhere.
28. You will NEVER see a trap coming unless told so in the beginning.
29. If a girl is raped in the park, not only will she enjoy it, she'll want more.
30. If someone is turned into a dickgirl, the first thing everyone wants to do with it is fuck it.
That's all for now, I'll add more as I think of them and as people post them! Til then, enjoy!
[color=red][font=Verdana]THE GRAND RULES OF FAPPITUDE IN HENTAI!!![/font][/color]
1. If sex can happen, it will.
2. If sex cannot happen, it will.
3. The main guy(If there is one.) will have a penis that A)hits her womb, B)Looks big enough to hit her stomach seen from outside, and/or C)is a perfect fit.
4. In a harem situation, if the girls don't know about each other at first, they don't give a flying fuck once they find out, as long as there's going to be group sex.
4a. If one objects, they will give in the second another girl kisses them.
5. Incest is almost always wincest.
5a. Except when there is a span greater than one generation between those involved.
6. When wondering who's going to get fucked when there are several characters, look for the girl who's the most well drawn, and the guy who's the most forgettable.
7. Alcohol=Sex
8. Tentacles are rarely appreciated at first.
9. In vanilla hentai, both will come at the same time.
10. When someone declares their love for another, no matter when declaration occurs, it will always be done in a manner that involves declarer's words needing to be written in either bold font or with at least one exclamation point.
10a. If the declaration is said gently, this is often the signal that the guy is going to be cumming inside the girl.
11. The heir to a big company will ALWAYS have a harem.
12. If a girl discovers a guy's porn collection, she will A)want to try it out(the girl is more often than not a virgin) or B)use it as blackmail to have sex.
13. The most common girls you will see in harem hentai are as follows: The loli, the girl with giant breasts, the twins(identicalness optional), the older woman, the childhood friend, the sisters, and the tsundere.
14. Girls can be tricked into anything involving sex.
15. If a guy forces himself on a girl, and she's a friend, chances are she had a crush on him anyways.
16. "Can I wash your back?"=Hentai code for "Imma fuck your brains out after this."
16a. "NOOOOO, DON'T CUM INSIDE!"=Hentai code for "She's going to be more cream-filled than a Twinkie."
17. In a minor harem situation, you will first be introduced to each girl individually, then they will all end up fucking together.
17a. The exception to this rule is when there is a oneshot in the beginning done in color.
18. When a girl loses her virginity, it hurts, but it's okay, as long as it's XXXXX doing it.
19. If there are big boobs involved, expect paizuri.
20. The rate of incest in Japan, according to hentai, is about 3:1 for.
21. The age of schoolgirls in Hentai is best left to the imagination.
22. Maids in Japan are apparently sex-slaves. Not that anyone is complaining.
23. If you are a hopeless loser with no life, and lacking a girlfriend because you can't speak to girls, you can get laid as long as you have a childhood friend.
23a. Also, you have a pretty good chance of being heir to a large corporation that only needs you to produce another heir.
24. If they come in manga form, you bet your ass they come in doujin form. Not necessarily a vice-versa situation.
25. Vampires don't need blood, semen will do. Blood is a possibility, though.
26. The guy in a hentai can go for hours if he was formerly a virgin.
27. If a girl is turned into a nekomimi, of any animal type, she WILL be in heat.
27a. Said girl will, when turned, only have cat ears and a tail, with a possible "nya!" thrown in somewhere.
28. You will NEVER see a trap coming unless told so in the beginning.
29. If a girl is raped in the park, not only will she enjoy it, she'll want more.
30. If someone is turned into a dickgirl, the first thing everyone wants to do with it is fuck it.
That's all for now, I'll add more as I think of them and as people post them! Til then, enjoy!
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although the rules lack anything futanari, furry, or monster girl (excluding the vampire thing) related.
I will give this my.
I will give this my.
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I apologize, I thought the Nosebleed section was for anything involving Hentai. And gaming nerd, I DID say it was only stuff I had read, no offense to the genres I missed. If you have something you wish to add, feel free to post it. I want to try and make this akin to the rules of anime that Insane Advocate made a while back. Although I DID just remember a few Nekomimi rules I need to add...
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Drifter995
Neko//Night
Already been done quite a few times...
Also, your avatar wasn't done properly...
Also, your avatar wasn't done properly...
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Cinia Pacifica
Ojou-sama Writer
Not gonna bother to read. Text looks messy... that's my only reasoning.
