Uh oh i killed a hooker.
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animefreak_usa
Child of Samael
I just don't know what to do fakku. Like the thread title states, I accidentally killed a hooker. To be more specific, I bludgeoned her to death with a rock.
It was last night. I was walking from a friends house and passed through a specific part of town that's known for not being so nice. Lots of gang violence, prostitution and drugs go around. I walk by two houses and hear a sharp whistle from in between. Curious, I go to investigate. A wrinkled lady wearing a green spaghetti strap that reminded me of boogers and a vinyl mini skirt the color of vagina blood walked up to me.
" -wheeze- hey boy do you want a good time"
" Um, are you asking me to put my dick in you?"
" Depends on how much you want to pay"
"Lady, you couldn't pay me enough to put my dick in you. You couldn't MAKE me put my dick in you. I wouldn't even put my FRIENDS dick in you. I'd put dick cheney in you, but just to teach that asshole a lesson. I'd put a chihuahua--"
" Ok ok I get it asshole, I'm not attractive. But trust me, you look like you need it."
" Lady please leave me alone. I'm obviously able to get a girl of my own. I don't need to PAY for shitty sex."
At this, she screamed in a rage. Grabbing the nearest beer bottle lying on the floor, she charged at me wildly screaming "I SAID FUCK ME YOU STUPID TWAT" Loudly. May I remind you, that we are in public.
I dodged to the side, and grabbed a stone the size of a fist. She charged again and ran into a dumpster. She then proceeded to throw up all over the ground, and subsequently my new shoes. I think she was drunk because she then fell down on the floor in a pile of her own bile.
Trying to teach her a lesson, I decided the best course of action was to urinate on her hair. So I unzipped. Unfortunately for me, she woke up halfway through my taking a whiz on what I realized was a shitty wig. Scrambling up, she latched her fake lips around my package and started to bite down. I must have peed a full quart of urine into her mouth and face.
That's when I realized I still had the rock in my hand! Brandishing it like a weapon, I bashed it into her head until she fell down. I kept on hitting and hitting her in the head. I think I blacked out for a while and when I came to, I was fucking her while she was still passed out.
Apparently she COULD make me put my dick in her.
Well anyway, I finished up, and got dressed. That's when I noticed she wasn't breathing. Panicking, I dragged her to my house about a mile away. Her blood and vaginal juices left a trail all the way to my front door.
So right now she's sitting in my backyard naked, covered in honey. I figure wild animals will pick her clean.
Was this the best course of action? What should I have done instead fakku?
It was last night. I was walking from a friends house and passed through a specific part of town that's known for not being so nice. Lots of gang violence, prostitution and drugs go around. I walk by two houses and hear a sharp whistle from in between. Curious, I go to investigate. A wrinkled lady wearing a green spaghetti strap that reminded me of boogers and a vinyl mini skirt the color of vagina blood walked up to me.
" -wheeze- hey boy do you want a good time"
" Um, are you asking me to put my dick in you?"
" Depends on how much you want to pay"
"Lady, you couldn't pay me enough to put my dick in you. You couldn't MAKE me put my dick in you. I wouldn't even put my FRIENDS dick in you. I'd put dick cheney in you, but just to teach that asshole a lesson. I'd put a chihuahua--"
" Ok ok I get it asshole, I'm not attractive. But trust me, you look like you need it."
" Lady please leave me alone. I'm obviously able to get a girl of my own. I don't need to PAY for shitty sex."
At this, she screamed in a rage. Grabbing the nearest beer bottle lying on the floor, she charged at me wildly screaming "I SAID FUCK ME YOU STUPID TWAT" Loudly. May I remind you, that we are in public.
I dodged to the side, and grabbed a stone the size of a fist. She charged again and ran into a dumpster. She then proceeded to throw up all over the ground, and subsequently my new shoes. I think she was drunk because she then fell down on the floor in a pile of her own bile.
Trying to teach her a lesson, I decided the best course of action was to urinate on her hair. So I unzipped. Unfortunately for me, she woke up halfway through my taking a whiz on what I realized was a shitty wig. Scrambling up, she latched her fake lips around my package and started to bite down. I must have peed a full quart of urine into her mouth and face.
That's when I realized I still had the rock in my hand! Brandishing it like a weapon, I bashed it into her head until she fell down. I kept on hitting and hitting her in the head. I think I blacked out for a while and when I came to, I was fucking her while she was still passed out.
Apparently she COULD make me put my dick in her.
Well anyway, I finished up, and got dressed. That's when I noticed she wasn't breathing. Panicking, I dragged her to my house about a mile away. Her blood and vaginal juices left a trail all the way to my front door.
So right now she's sitting in my backyard naked, covered in honey. I figure wild animals will pick her clean.
Was this the best course of action? What should I have done instead fakku?
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Chop the body and scatter the remains throughout various drop sites in your city that would shape a smiley face in a map.
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So, Im picturing you as a 7 foot, tightly dressed, well managed man who owns a Ferrari, Sesto Elemento. You are well groomed, with a good, attractive amount of light-grey hair, showing your experience in life with a scar crossing you mouth.
It is unfortunate about your recent accident though.
Get well soon.
It is unfortunate about your recent accident though.
Get well soon.
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animefreak_usa
Child of Samael
Deftera Mirage wrote...
Chop the body and scatter the remains throughout various drop sites in your city that would shape a smiley face in a map.
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Dig a grave. Line grave with rubber tarps. Place the body in the grave. Fill grave with CLR. Cover with another tarp and put the dirt back. Bones and all will be dissolved in a few weeks.
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animefreak_usa wrote...
Deftera Mirage wrote...
Chop the body and scatter the remains throughout various drop sites in your city that would shape a smiley face in a map.Go for it.
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animefreak_usa wrote...
Deftera Mirage wrote...
Chop the body and scatter the remains throughout various drop sites in your city that would shape a smiley face in a map.I approve this message.
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Fluttershy wrote...
What if he's serious? LOLOLOLlol, calm down sugarcube, only true criminal mastermind's are proud to post they're actions towards society.
btw, he should hurry up and apologize to her pimp.
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P=mangakaL! wrote...
Fluttershy wrote...
What if he's serious? LOLOLOLlol, calm down sugarcube, only true criminal mastermind's are proud to post they're actions towards society.
btw, he should hurry up and apologize to her pimp.
Error. Error. Detecting clopper.
AppleJack without her hat in avi. Error. Error. 404 is impossible. Error error.
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beat up a drug dealer and plant her near him then have her bite down on his dick while he's holding a rock with her blood on it in a dark place then set up a camera you stole from someone so they can be questioned... I mean bury her in an already dug up graveyard so the next day they will set the casket over her then they unexpectedly bury your corpse
