Sorry I lied: Spread the rumor!

[ Warning: This is a test. if you are highly sensitive to other ppl's opinion then give it back to me right now. I will just call on the next person. ]


Intro

Hello, my name is [Blank for now]. If you're reading this, then that means you are interested in my motives. Well, let me just say that I find this just as odd as you do. All I'm trying to do is prove a point to my strict, hardworking father that I can take initiative in life, and that he can't control my every actions just because he's worried about me. Anyways, money is not my gain. I don't need money because my father gives me enough to take care of my basic needs. I predict that by the time he is unable to take care of me, I will be cured of my social phobia (and I'll be capable of taking care of him). I'm going around the neighborhoods I frequently visit to search for people that inspire me to continue to do the best I can in life. I was always told never to be a "bum", but I realized that those people are just "loners" like me. "Loners" think outside the box. If it wasn't for people like us, we wouldn't have morals or technology. I'm not trying to push my ideals on anyone, you're free to do whatever the hell you want. Just be sure you are aware of your consequences. I'm already aware, are you?

The Deal

Tell me your troubles for $1. It can be about anything, I'll do the best I can to listen to your story. If I can relate to it by my own personal experiences (which isn't really saying much), then I'll give helpful suggestions. If I'm not sure what the hell you're talking about, then I'll ask a few more questions to get a better understanding. The session will last for 5 minutes. If you liked how I approached things, then give the $1 to the person that inspired me. If you didn't like it, then just give it to the person that inspired me anyways.


Rules:

Any setting
-Say whatever is on your mind. If you are offended, then I will take my stuff and leave. I won't come back.
-When I leave, do not follow. I have no schedule right now, I'm just testing out the waters. This has become my new obsession.
-We'll find a place to sit and talk, but people are allowed to watch and listen. The most important goal is to gain trust. If you can't speak about your troubles in public, then I guess I was wrong in putting my faith in humanity.
-If you tell me something interesting about yourself, then I'll allow you to whisper in my ear your troubles.
-I'm very forgetful, so don't get mad if I don't remember your name, or I forget the timer. If you like me, then help me out by giving me constructive criticism. Don't call me names or I'm just gonna walk away.
-When you are done reading this, give it back to me. I'm gonna throw it away. I don't want any unnecessary attention.

In a familiar setting
-If you know me, then now you know how I feel and think. I'll see you around. ^_^
-You can ask for a handout, but I'm gonna question your motives. Trust me, I know a "fake" person when I see one. I've been observing and experimenting my whole life.

For the record
-I refuse to speak to the press or authorities, I'll just say something stupid to piss them off (I'm a pathological liar by nature).


What you should and need to know

-I am diagnosed with Schitzoaffective Disorder
-I stopped taking my medication (You're free to ask why)
-My dad already knows I'm not taking my medication. He is looking into alternative medications for me.
-Hypersensitive (I break down under intense pressure whether it be physical or mental stress. So please don't use violence on me.)
-Borderline suicidal (I have family that love me, so I doubt this will be a problem)
-I have to be continuously active to prevent my mind from racing 100 mph
-I literally lack common sense (Because I'm stuck in my own little world)
-I'm easily distracted
-I'm extremely paranoid
-I procrastinate when I get bored (If this experiment becomes boring, then I will quit and move on to Plan B: Taking over my father's business)
-I'm on Welfare (But they may cut me off soon since I stopped going to therapy and taking the medication.)
-I'm a jack of all trades, so I can take care of myself so long as I find a purpose.
-I don't do any drugs or alcohol. I think that shit is stupid and I don't need any more addictions.
-I'm Agnostic (I believe in God, but I also agree that his existence can't be proven)
-I contradict myself a lot.
-I'm confusing myself as I type this.
-My goal is to help people become a better person, not settle for mediocricy. Time is short and we are running out of resources. We need to stop fucking with each other and come up with a plan together.
-People like me are manipulators. We manipulate to get what we want.
-I want you to tell me I'm normal.
-I'm being sarcastic just to prove a point. Maybe I should be a comedian? Nah, I'd much rather prefer being a professional prophet. My jokes will get old pretty fast, then the racing thoughts will start again.
-DON'T BELIEVE THE HYPE!!!
-I have no social life and I don't want one yet.
-Believe in only yourself.
-I'm my own worse enemy
-I really, really don't want to do this, but i have to.


My insecurities

-I'm afraid to die
-I'm afraid to live
-I'm afraid of humiliation
-I'm afraid of failure
-I'm afraid of telling lies
-I'm afraid of telling the truth
-I have a small penis and I can only get an erection to 2D anime characters.
-I'm a 26 year old virgin
-I only had two real friends my entire life. The rest were just acquantances.
-My IQ is 100
-My SAT score is 730
-I'm addicted to the internet
-I'm addicted to gaming
-My mom has bi-polar disorder (and she spoils me to death)
-I'm a college droppout and a psychologist wannabe
-I can recognize faces, but almost never names (Including some people in my own family)
-I refuse to have any children. (I'm only into Voyeurism).
-I'm slowly becomming a vegetarian (My mom is very upset with me).
-My goal is to one day legalize marijuana. I hate to admit it as a ex-psych major, but it might just have some benefits after all (Please for the love of god use google properly!!)
-I'm afraid that I probably won't stop being myself until I commit suicide or get murdered (Blame Jesus and Mr. Luther king for brainwashing me).
-I honestly believe that I can only tell the truth (Just an opininion though, I say sorry when I'm wrong.)
-Experts aren't always right after all.
-A theory is never a fact. A theory is only as good as the next good idea.
-I like telling stories
-I like being social
-The future is uncertain


Put me to the test:

-Call me a nigger in my ear (whisper real low so no one can hear)


Conclusion: So basically, I'm giving myself therapy. This isn't really for you. This is for me to grow the fuck up. I'm tired of living in my mom's house and sleeping on the sofa. I will get my independence and freedom even if it kills me (RIP: Michael Jackson). I don't want to be afraid anymore, but being afraid is apart of being alive.