ZIN - Action RPG Project

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FinalBoss #levelupyourgrind
Self Intro

Spoiler:
I've been working on this project ever since I got into playing rpgs. Over the years my ideas would get bigger and bigger in regards to what I wanted to do with the game. At first, I wanted to make it a comic book (despite the fact that I'm terrible at drawing). After being exposed to other stories from video games, movies/tv and manga, I would get discouraged because I would come to the realization that the ideas I had were already published. I stopped thinking about ZIN for a few years, but after dropping out of college I learned that I should make ZIN a story based on my beliefs, dreams and fears. I can't really base it on life experience since a social life is what I've been lacking most of my life. Now that I've made peace with myself, I'm ready to start on the project again. I'm well prepared on the fact that my work will take years to finish due to my lack of skills in drawing, computer programming and graphic art. So for now, I'm going to focus on what I am good at, which is writing stories. Once I get the script finished, everything else will fall into place.


ZIN Introduction - 11th Prewriting attempt
Spoiler:

After witnessing the gradual death of the universe, angels have decided that the only way to save existence is to exterminate the beings that harbor the most negative energy. The human race is on the list for elimination. Humanity was on the brink of extinction due to the Angels' crusade. However, three of the most powerful angels took pity on humanity and traveled to the mortal realm to prepare them for war against their kind. They taught the humans how to unlock their spiritual potential, thus allowing them to push their mental/physical abilities to the limit. This new awakening came to be known as the "Fruits of knowledge". Millions of years passed by and the humans who rebelled were ready to face off against the angels who sought out to destroy humanity. A great war waged against human and angel. With the support of their guardians, the humans eventually managed to fend off against the angel attack. The angels vowed to return someday to eradicate their kind. Humanity gave praise to their saviors and named their three planets after each of the saviors. The books of Z.I.N was later written which told the story of humanities struggle for survival and freedom.

Over 300,000 years have passed since the first spiritual war. The three savior angels have long since lost their physical bodies and returned to the immortal realm of purgatory. The inner cores of the three planets have begun to lose a significant amount of energy. Humans adapted to this issue by using the soul as an alternative energy source for the planets. The governments that rule the planets assign various groups of people the role of being a human battery. These human batteries are placed in camps buried miles beneath the planets' surfaces. Their souls feed the planets' inner cores. As a human battery, their life span is decreased by 3/4 that of the average human. Some slaves lose their ability to use their souls as an energy source. They are called dysfunctional slaves. These slaves are given the chance to become a citizen by competing against other dysfunctional slaves as a gladiator. A dysfunctional slave can also gain citizenship by becoming a soldier or demon (fallen angels) hunter.

Now enter a young man named Rio, who happens to be a human battery since birth. Lately he's been having a re-occurring dream about a beautiful woman during his soul draining sessions. One day, he loses his ability to provide energy to the planet's inner core. He is now labeled a dysfunctional slave and brought to the planet's surface. After having all the basic knowledge uploaded to his brain, he now has two goals. The first goal is to become a citizen, the second goal is to find the woman in his dreams. Things get complicated when a) He becomes a target of an unknown enemy b ) He gets sent to an unknown dimension c) The angels declare war against humanity once again./end of intro

Inspirations: The apprentice adept (sci-fi book), Evangelion, Xenogears, FF7, the bible, Guilty Gear X, Gurren Laggan, Chrono Cross/Trigger, every psychology/philosophy book I've read so far...etc.


Action RPG Ideas
Spoiler:

RPG ideas

Update Log:

Missing Content:

-Character Profiles
-Lost Soul Profiles
-Battle System Details
-Planet Profiles
-Trust System mechanics
-Script Sample

----------------------------

9/28/11

-Intro and Plot edited
-Timeline edited
-Terminology Included
-Zin Facts Included
-Gameplay Mechanics Included

1/20/10
-About Slavery entry added
-ZIN Alliances added


1/15/10
-Title descriptions
-Title Relationship


1/14/10
-Brief self intro
-Prewriting attempt #10
-RPG Ideas: Attatchment 1




Everything else is a work in progress. I just wanted to share my ideas with everyone. It'd be great if the story ever got the green light for production one day. In the meantime I guess I'll keep dreaming. Thanks for reading, I'll update the post whenever I get the chance to.

[Note: You're free to guess what the true ending is, but please put it in spoilers. I'll pm you if you got it right. Zin Facts has a lot of clues if you care to study it. Other than that, just keep thinking and I'll keep writing.]
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I'm just going to criticize on your writing and what not, since i have no knowledge of game making. If you don't mind that is ^.^ .

Well to begin with, I think you need to clearly tell what some of the things are, such as how the Fruit of Knowledge helped the humans, what kind of power were the humans against when they fought the angels?How is that only three angels made turned around the whole war between humans and angels, are the three angels special or more powerful? What is the Great Drift? How did it threaten existence? What is the technology like? How does a dysfunctional slave fight? How Is he/she dysfunctional? Does the slave have a special ability? Will the planets be attacked by something? Gonna put some stuff in spoiler tags >.>


Spoiler:
However, these beings have become too complex over the years. It has gotten to the point where their "consciousness" has turned against not only themselves, but against nature itself. <---- this part confused me a little. since their consciousness turned against themselves and everything, does that mean they're crazy?


Spoiler:
Another part that confused me was on how to angels and humans fought each other. Because when i think of angels, i imagine angels with wings, sword, and magic. While as, when i hear advanced humans, i imagine laser guns, and Space Cruisers. So got a little confused there.


Spoiler:
You say that there's three planets that consist of nobles/citizens,slaves, and neutral. Where are the angels from? were they on one of the planets when the war erupted? You say that the angels helped during the brink of human existence and the humans fought a stalemate hence forth with the power of the "fruit" Does that mean the humans were equally combating the angels with a population close to extinction? Furthermore, since they were at a stalemate to the present time, how was the human population able to grow big enough to be occupying three planets? If they were able to grow this big, wouldn't the angels have been overpowered since the stalemate that took place in the beginning was fought between a small amount of humans against a much larger amount of angels?


I think some of these questions should be answered to help people better understand your RPG Script, but that's just my opinion. But seems like a fair idea so far. Although I have to guess on some of the materials. I'm not trying to be harsh if that thought comes up, just saying what i think.

Edit: Eh... I think i might of gotten confused at one point of your writing.

Edit: Maybe i got into a little too much useless details?
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FinalBoss #levelupyourgrind
@Htarreva
Spoiler:
Hello, I really appreciate your criticism, it's well constructed so thank you. You raise good questions which I'm trying to sort out as I type. I have it all in my head, I just need to get all my ideas organized. I'll post up a timeline in the near future. In addition to character bios and a plot outline from one of the "personality" scripts. I'm just now getting out of the brainstorming stage, so bare with me.

Some questions can't really be answered since it'll spoil much of the storyline. I believe a good rpg (or story in general) leaves at least a little bit to the player's imagination until more information is revealed. So unfortunately I can't really tell you right off the bat how things unfolded in the ZIN universe. In fact there is no way of knowing whether the introduction story is even true or not. That's a major theme I would want this rpg to portray. How much of what we really know can count as real indisputable knowledge? That in addition to showing the importance of developing healthy social bonds with others.


Anyways, I want this rpg to have a lot of alternative endings. I'm thinking of basing those endings on the different personalities you'd want your main character to have. So far I have 35 "personalities" to choose from.

-----------------------------------------

Q&A - I finally have time to sit down and answer your questions, lol.

However, these beings have become too complex over the years. It has gotten to the point where their "consciousness" has turned against not only themselves, but against nature itself. <---- this part confused me a little. since their consciousness turned against themselves and everything, does that mean they're crazy?


This was written in a way to make the intro as unique and interesting as possible. If you want, you could say that an "Angel" is narrating this intro. So of course from an angel's perspective, human beings are like a virus that will destroy existence if not stopped. BTW, whatever idea you have of angels, throw it out the window. To me, an angel is just a being that is superior than humans "spiritually". Or at least in ZIN's case, "was". (ps. don't mind the quotes, it's a habit I'm picking up to liven up my discussions)


Another part that confused me was on how to angels and humans fought each other. Because when i think of angels, i imagine angels with wings, sword, and magic. While as, when i hear advanced humans, i imagine laser guns, and Space Cruisers. So got a little confused there.


I don't want to get too into detail of my perception of what an "Angel" is, but just know that I'm doing this on purpose for the sake of adding twists to the story. It's basically a sci fi trip.

You say that there's three planets that consist of nobles/citizens,slaves, and neutral. Where are the angels from? were they on one of the planets when the war erupted? You say that the angels helped during the brink of human existence and the humans fought a stalemate hence forth with the power of the "fruit" Does that mean the humans were equally combating the angels with a population close to extinction? Furthermore, since they were at a stalemate to the present time, how was the human population able to grow big enough to be occupying three planets? If they were able to grow this big, wouldn't the angels have been overpowered since the stalemate that took place in the beginning was fought between a small amount of humans against a much larger amount of angels?


Like I said, this is a sci fi rpg, so the setting will be futuristic as opposed to modern or biblical (even though biblical slang and names are used a lot in this story). Angels are from a dimension called "purgatory" (Here's one example, lol). The three angels that are humanity's saviors were pretty high ranked in status and abilities, which is why they were so sucessful in teaching humans how to fight their kind. There's a reason why they did what they did, but I'm not gonna get into that until I start writing the actual script. The forbidden fruit that I mentioned is more of a metaphor. The angels taught humans how to use the "power of the soul" and apply that knowledge to the technology they already mastered. By mastering their "soul and spirit", they can fight equally with the angels who have long mastered it (But not so much technology). BTW, while the humans were learning this, the three savior angels protected them from the renegade angels. This all took place thousands of years ago (which is why I need to post that timeline soon).

Again, thanks for taking the time to read. I'll do my best to entertain while enjoying a good hobby.


edit: Since the upates were too big for the first post to handle, I put everything in a text file and uploaded it on media fire. You can get the latest update logs from there.

Edit2: After a year of procrastination, I finally updated the ZIN Project. Look for: "RPG_Ideas___Updated_by_9_28_11" on the media fire link to get the latest updates.