How to get over not being able to do anything right?

Whenever i have something good going, or know someone really well
I always screw it up somehow. Maybe i'm just that sort of person i guess...
When I reach out for help, somehow i manage to screw that up too (a complete stranger made a boastful claim in my other post that she knows what reaching out for advice or encouragement looks like, and apparently i wasn't coming off as sincere? oh i don't know. But what i do know, is that for reasons unknown she reported that thread, and its now locked.

Either way the world hates me and its time I got used to it
My life is short lived before I turn 30 i'll have hung myself with an ethernet cord,
people just can't stand me for whatever reason I'm not entirely sure


I'm going back to school and i just know i'll screw that up too like everything prior to it, maybe i should just save the people around me some pain and jump off a bridge.

If you can't bring yourself to have some self-confidence there is nothing we can do for you. If you keep talking about yourself as crap you will get crap accomplished in life.

Better suited to Love, Romance and Relationships I do believe.

First off, take nobody seriously on the internet, if someone you don't know or have never spoken to you hates on you then...



...and completely disregard what they said, because they'll most likely just be looking for a reaction, or they're in a bad mood and have no idea what the fuck they're talking about.

Secondly, since you hate your life so much, now's a good time to re-evaluate your life and everyone in it. Cut cords with people who wrong you and use you on a daily basis and look for a new group of friends. Look into going to a doctor as well to see if you aren't suffering from depression, or seek therapy to talk over how you're feeling.

And finally, cheer the fuck up. I don't mean that insultingly, but you do sound a little whiny and overemotional because you're exaggerating all these negative emotions. It doesn't hurt to think positively once in a while, even if it means forcing yourself to think positively or keeping your mind off the negative thoughts by taking up a hobby and praising yourself for a job well done. You could also go out with a friend or two once in a while (if you have any) and get drunk at the pub.

But how? i've been crap up till now how can I just suddenly see myself as any different?

Find something you're good at, or something you enjoy doing.If that doesn't work, perhaps find a way to meet other people with similar interests.If that still doesn't help, then perhaps therapy?

My point is you have to find someway to get a better self image. Lots of people have had struggles with self confidence, me included. That doesn't mean you can't change how you view yourself.

Hi , i don't speak a lot on this forum but i feel like this is something that i have to talk to you abouth .

First off , you're not goign to find the answer here , you're seeking help , but not at the good place . So if i understand correctly , you seems to have a low self-esteem problem + other personal problems that doesn't help the situation ?

By "reach out for help" do you mean goign on forums and asking things like this ? These people are not qualified to help you , their experiences of life will NOT help you and they mostly just have no idea of what they are talking abouth or how you are feeling . If your problem is serious (which looks to be) there is real help you can look for but there is no miracle solution .

I don't know where you live (i assume you don't live in canada) so i don't really know how your health system works but the help you need is doctors/therapist/psychiatrist/psychologist ect .depending on what you really need , they should know who can help you . If you live in the usa you might be able to follow the same therapy that i did since it's been developed there . It took 6 months of therapy + another 6 months applying what i had learn to change but it worked , i feel way better in my skin and way more confindent in anything i want to do .

If you have any question or if i can be of any help you can always pm me .

I hope that helps sweetie.

Okay, it's self help time.
Not warmfuzzy self help, not feel "better" self help. Self help because I can't come over and beat the "loser" out of you.

You have to do the shit yourself.

What this isn't: The beat all, end all, itemized list that you need to become a functioning human being.

What it is: An angle at which you can beat your head against the wall, such that you become a bit less trapped every time.

I'm a loser.



In order to have a picture of the "broken" you, you innately know what you want the "whole" version to look like. He/She could be a champion bodybuilder, a high power businessman, or a raging alcoholic. Your call.

Why aren't you this person, yet?



All of these are actually valid arguments.
(No, really.)
You're new philosophy:
"And?"

Every hurdle, every argument against, every enemy before and behind you is now a simple problem. All you need to do is functionally solve them.




Write out the person you want to be. The things you want to have and do. And then, begin building that person.
"I can't afford a Giorgio Armani, so I'll get the Korean tailor down the street to look at my Nordstroms."
"I don't sound like Slash, so I'll work through some of Josh Homme's more complicated parts."

Everything you do, from here on, is to create the world you envision.

Part two:
Try.

Get off your ass, and go.
Realistically, the chances of jumping your league, sexually, break into theoretical improbability.
Maybe you're fat. Maybe you're ugly. Maybe, you just don't do well with people in general.
Doesn't matter.

I want you to practice quantity for the next 60 days. Place yourself in public situations (sharpening the skills you need, to become the "whole" you), and hit on (minimum) four dead ringers a week.
You will flounder. You will get rejected. It will hurt.
Get used to it.

By day 57, you will have mastered the approach, known the setup, and be so sick of vapid bitches that you will know what you actually want AND how to get it.

Accomplish this, and you will:
1. Know how to be social. Men are easier to talk to than women, and will actually jump on the chance to hang out. Homophobia makes it harder to get non-work friends, and it shows.
2. Have sucky skills. One day, you'll wake up and realize that you don't suck. But, sucking is still better than doing nothing.
3. Occupy yourself. If you are working all the time, there isn't any left over to get depressed. If there is, go back and find another girl.



Or, if you'd prefer, go with Rabaresu's answer:
https://www.fakku.net/viewtopic.php?t=84747#3020732
It's a really nice way of saying "Let it ride." and is probably easier than my militant stubbornness.

(In case I lost myself, well writing this:
1. Figure out who you should be.
2. Be that person. **lie**
3. Fail at being that person.
4. Repeat until #3 disappears. Failure happens. Life hurts.)

Oh, and actually feel free to complain. It passes the time between now-you and perfect-you really well. And, it's the most universal form of "small talk"

Perhaps if you break out of that cycle of self pity you'll actually have some self esteem. Your attitude makes people dislike you.

Acting depressed will only make you fall down this hole even more. You have to shape your own destiny. Thinking positive will attract positivity.

Well, you seem to have the English language down to a science. So congrats you can put that as #1 on your list of "Finally achieved something".

I'm going through a dryspell now relationship wise, but I still have hope that somewhere out there there is someone for me. Stop Shittin' on yourself and keep the faith!

Just stop whining and fucking grow a pair and shit might not look so bleak.

quick question you've always been middle class and comfortable am i wrong?
no one has ever chased you with a knife?
ever slept in a ditch?
ever been homeless?
ever been starving?
(personally once i got off the streets i turned effeminate, i guess that was just my survival instincts turning back off again)
i could go on but i digress; it takes someone whose been through lots
to show any empathy to someone else in the same sinking ship


in other words - screw you rich fag you'll never know what suffering is and i pity you for it

it's easy to say grow a pair with the most cosy possible life in comparison to the person you talk down to isn't it?

I do live in canada, thanks for the advice,
guess i needed to hear that

I can only answer yes to three of those, yes I grew up as middle class and fairly comfortable, yes I have actually been chased with a knife once and I have slept in a ditch once, but that's not what you meant is it?

Your poor upbringing has nothing to do with your own actions or ability to do what you need to do. Poor people can still study, get a job and have a life, poverty does not equal being an idiot. I might be middle class, but no one ever gave me a hand with that shit.

So stop trying to excuse acting like a pussy on something irrelevant.

The problem here is not that you had a bad childhood, and that sucks, you have all my empathy, I did not mean any offense, the problem is that you're blaming your own failure on it.

Edit: and don't double post.

First off, I'd like to ask why people feel they can get help with their personal lives online?

Anyway, I know that feel, bro. Even if it should go far, I somehow mess it up. I have a sick notion that I need to be miserable. Like something is telling me to be miserable. If I make a real close friend I always like to tell them "You're going to hate me one day, I swear, you will." Sure, we'll talk a lot and hang out, but there's something I always do that completely ends it. So, I've grown to misery attached to me. Instead of letting it run my life, I try to run my own life. If I say something I shouldn't have, I'll try my best to fix it rather than allow, for example, an argument to happen. My life up to now and probably on has been based on HORRIBLE decisions. If I want to impress a girl, she never gets it. I also have a sick sense of humor which get's me caught in the middle of things VERY easily. I just got out of a relationship with this amazing girl. Two weeks later, I haven't the slightest idea why I broke up with her. I just do things because I'm nugged to do it. Like something is telling me I HAVE to do it or something bad is going to happen.

Well, I don't think my life is horrible. Perhaps my conscious is strong with me and knows that doing this or that will result in something bad. Sure, I'll feel bad NOT doing it or doing something, but that's life. I'll sometimes never figure out why I did it.

But, you're far more capable than you think you are. Never let something bring you down.


Have his attitude for the rest of your life.

1. Stop posting in IB. Most people are assholes there so it is a poor measure of whether you are doing something right or not.

2. The world hates you? Well if that's your attitude then sure the world probably does hate you.

3. No one can help you with not screwing up your own education. That really is up to you.

4. Stop being an attention whore and people might not be such assholes to you.

OP, you're not as deprived as you think you are. You live in the comfort of a HOME. This sounds cliche, but what about third world areas of the world that have shitty healthcare, terrible school systems, and the adults are underqualified for employment? If you're whining about being in the middle class MAN UP and know that things could be WORSE.

Also, if you feel incompetent at some thing keep at it. Don't care if you failed several times. Me? I'm a trial and error learner. I learn by fucking up, in other words, I try until I get it. Some might say it's a bad thing but that's how I get better at something; Learning from mistakes made the few runs. Rome wasn't built in a day.