Delusions of Grandeur

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I have a situation that I don't know how to handle anymore. There's this friend of mine who mixes reality and fantasy, to the point where he makes stuff up for no reason. He's a gamer and anything he sees in the game that he likes he copies in real life. Especially games like Assassins Creed and MGSR. There's a difference between being a fan and just being delusional. The worst thing that he's done is that he actually made up a situation where he goes on a "mission". He told me and my other friends he was going to Hong Kong to "help a friend escape from the triads"...I didn't see him for a week. He came back a week after with a piece of bandage in his eye and gauze on his arm...says the reason was he was fighting some triads...A couple of days after that I saw him without the bandage, gauze and he was perfectly fine. I trust him, but it's hard to believe everything he says.

Does anyone have a situation like this? I mean, how do you deal with something/someone like that?
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Sounds to me like he has to get out of his moms basement, and just go outside find another hobbie. It seems that he spends WAY too much time in front of a computer monitor, and that's just not healthy.
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Winged-Fapper wrote...
Sounds to me like he has to get out of his moms basement, and just go outside find another hobbie. It seems that he spends WAY too much time in front of a computer monitor, and that's just not healthy.


I completely agree.. that's like super creepy.
I thought my sister was a crazy reality/anime/gamer bent person, but this takes the cake.

Has anyone told him that he has issues? Like that kind of stuff really isn't okai.
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Sounds like 8th grade syndrome, I'm somewhat interested in him if it is how you describe.

As long as he can differentiate between his delusions and reality, as long as he doesn't truly believe in his fantasy, and as long as it doesn't cripple his real life, it should be (somewhat) fine.

If you want to know why, you'd best want to start with "why" he is doing this? What in real life is he rejecting? Or is he simply unsatisfied? Does he feel as though he is missing something? Did he go through trauma?

If it's truly bad, then a counselor would be better qualified to help, but if your thinking theirs nothing you can do, try stay his friend. Be a support for him outside of his fantasies and remind him that there are those in the real world that wait for him.
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Find a psychologist and get him some help. The best you can do is be a friend and stick with him until he can come out say Delusions. Hopefully he gets better and when he does he will know that he has a true friend in you.
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I don't know your friend or anything about his history so I can't make an informed decision to any advice that I would give. There are a lot of things that need to be factors in before anyone can render an opinion. Not to start my only little angry rant here, but seeing the first post saying "needs to get out of his moms basement" is a incredibly dismissive statment to make, and most likely highly inaccurate.

There's a cascade of things that can be causing such behaviours to happen, anything from chemical imbalance, depression, insanity, bipolar, insomia, dementia, etc.

Which can come from so many different causes, what he eats, how often he eats, how much he sleeps, how often he sleeps, social stimulation, family interaction, birth issues, deaths within the family or friends, the list can go on.

Or he could be much like me at times, where it is an act. In which case he is not actually crazy, he just happens to know how to enjoy his life and follow through with his hobbies and it is really you that is the insane one. If he is conciously making these decision and justifying his actions, then it is a hard call to make on it, cause he may have a true sense of self identity and does what brings him joy.

At least in that sense, he isn't following the conventions of "normal".

There's a beautiful scene in con air that I really like starting at 2:50 min into the video.

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Winged-Fapper wrote...
Sounds to me like he has to get out of his moms basement, and just go outside find another hobbie. It seems that he spends WAY too much time in front of a computer monitor, and that's just not healthy.


That is not the situation here at all. He is not what you are imagining him to be.

SkelliDrops wrote...
Winged-Fapper wrote...
Sounds to me like he has to get out of his moms basement, and just go outside find another hobbie. It seems that he spends WAY too much time in front of a computer monitor, and that's just not healthy.


I completely agree.. that's like super creepy.
I thought my sister was a crazy reality/anime/gamer bent person, but this takes the cake.

Has anyone told him that he has issues? Like that kind of stuff really isn't okai.


Like I said above and yes we've tried telling him and he treats it like we're just kidding around. My friends and I always kid around but he knows when we're serious it's just he doesn't accept it. A few years ago he used to always run like the ninjas in naruto. Now when we tell him about it he knows that what he was doing was weird... At first I thought it was just a phase but that was years ago when I first thought that.
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bakapink wrote...
Sounds like 8th grade syndrome, I'm somewhat interested in him if it is how you describe.

As long as he can differentiate between his delusions and reality, as long as he doesn't truly believe in his fantasy, and as long as it doesn't cripple his real life, it should be (somewhat) fine.

If you want to know why, you'd best want to start with "why" he is doing this? What in real life is he rejecting? Or is he simply unsatisfied? Does he feel as though he is missing something? Did he go through trauma?

If it's truly bad, then a counselor would be better qualified to help, but if your thinking theirs nothing you can do, try stay his friend. Be a support for him outside of his fantasies and remind him that there are those in the real world that wait for him.


Of course I acted a little like that too in my eight grade year. He started acting like that since around 7th grade and still do up to now. I think he just thinks differently, he has a huge imagination...most of the time horrible imaginations.

avorix wrote...
Find a psychologist and get him some help. The best you can do is be a friend and stick with him until he can come out say Delusions. Hopefully he gets better and when he does he will know that he has a true friend in you.


I don't think he would like going to a psychologist
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theotherjacob wrote...
I don't know your friend or anything about his history so I can't make an informed decision to any advice that I would give. There are a lot of things that need to be factors in before anyone can render an opinion. Not to start my only little angry rant here, but seeing the first post saying "needs to get out of his moms basement" is a incredibly dismissive statment to make, and most likely highly inaccurate.

There's a cascade of things that can be causing such behaviours to happen, anything from chemical imbalance, depression, insanity, bipolar, insomia, dementia, etc.

Which can come from so many different causes, what he eats, how often he eats, how much he sleeps, how often he sleeps, social stimulation, family interaction, birth issues, deaths within the family or friends, the list can go on.

Or he could be much like me at times, where it is an act. In which case he is not actually crazy, he just happens to know how to enjoy his life and follow through with his hobbies and it is really you that is the insane one. If he is consciously making these decision and justifying his actions, then it is a hard call to make on it, cause he may have a true sense of self identity and does what brings him joy.

At least in that sense, he isn't following the conventions of "normal".

There's a beautiful scene in con air that I really like starting at 2:50 min into the video.



Your right about the living in the basement thing.In my opinion the main thing that affects him would be his family/issues with his family. He especially dislikes him mom. At least that what it seems like when we talk about his family. I don't know for what reason but family seems to be the most reasonable factor in why he acts like he does. Like I said I'm not sure if he really is like that or he's just acting (in which case he would be the best actor I've ever known). My friends and I know when he's lying since he's not really good at it but when he mixes reality and fantasy I can't tell if he's making stuff up or telling the truth. He seems to believe his own fantasies.
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«Synth» wrote...
Winged-Fapper wrote...
Sounds to me like he has to get out of his moms basement, and just go outside find another hobbie. It seems that he spends WAY too much time in front of a computer monitor, and that's just not healthy.


That is not the situation here at all. He is not what you are imagining him to be.

SkelliDrops wrote...
Winged-Fapper wrote...
Sounds to me like he has to get out of his moms basement, and just go outside find another hobbie. It seems that he spends WAY too much time in front of a computer monitor, and that's just not healthy.


I completely agree.. that's like super creepy.
I thought my sister was a crazy reality/anime/gamer bent person, but this takes the cake.

Has anyone told him that he has issues? Like that kind of stuff really isn't okai.


Like I said above and yes we've tried telling him and he treats it like we're just kidding around. My friends and I always kid around but he knows when we're serious it's just he doesn't accept it. A few years ago he used to always run like the ninjas in naruto. Now when we tell him about it he knows that what he was doing was weird... At first I thought it was just a phase but that was years ago when I first thought that.
Your not doing a good job of selling me that he doesn't have issues and by you blowing it off, you may be enabling him. Then again, I ain't no shrink.
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I think possibly you and your friends need to sit him down and have an intervention. He is probably a good person and there is nothing creepy about mental illness regardless of the severity I am sure he has a disorder of some form. Sitting him down and together calmly telling him your concerns is a better solution than allowing him to go on like this. He is putting himself in danger and could possibly be a threat to you as well, you never know how these delusions will progress to becomeing violent or risky. It may be time he learn from those who care that he may need professional help and honestly don't let him walk away without convincing him to get help.
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I agree with what Usagi said. At the same time too he might be using this to escape his day to day problems, like the family issues you mentioned. There might be more going on behind the scenes than you know. I think you need to ask him and if there is something you might need to let him know he can talk to you about it instead of just running away to his fantasy land, because it seems like an extreme form of escapism.
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I don't know about delusions of grandeur. He seems delusional, not sure about the grandeur part though. I actually found that story quite funny; perhaps he has a very specific sense of humor.

Now, assuming that's one of the many stories, it's possible he could be a compulsive liar. Some people enjoy lying and eventually start doing it to embelish their life. I dunno, maybe if you could give some more examples.

I had a friend like that once but it was in the sixth grade. He was a medium class guy like me but for some reason pretended to be rich. He said he had roughly twenty phones even though I only saw one, whenever we talked about WWE, which we were super into back then, he would say he had gone to the US to watch it and when I asked him in what state he didn't remember.
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nateriver10 wrote...

Now, assuming that's one of the many stories, it's possible he could be a compulsive liar. Some people enjoy lying and eventually start doing it to embelish their life. I dunno, maybe if you could give some more examples.


This could also be it, I've known people to be the exact same, lying about being known and famous, or this one girl I went to school with who constantly said she had a band, played shows in NYC, and she'd make up random boyfriends all the time.

Compulsive lying is pretty bad too, so either way you guys should definitely sit him down and talk to him about these things.
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FinalBoss #levelupyourgrind
SkelliDrops wrote...
Winged-Fapper wrote...
Sounds to me like he has to get out of his moms basement, and just go outside find another hobbie. It seems that he spends WAY too much time in front of a computer monitor, and that's just not healthy.


I completely agree.. that's like super creepy.
I thought my sister was a crazy reality/anime/gamer bent person, but this takes the cake.

Has anyone told him that he has issues? Like that kind of stuff really isn't okai.


It gotta be more to it than just too much time playing games and whatnot. People like that more likely than not got real mental issues. I just hope the guy doesn't end up doing something that harms innocent people. It sounds like he needs help.
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FinalBoss wrote...
SkelliDrops wrote...
Winged-Fapper wrote...
Sounds to me like he has to get out of his moms basement, and just go outside find another hobbie. It seems that he spends WAY too much time in front of a computer monitor, and that's just not healthy.


I completely agree.. that's like super creepy.
I thought my sister was a crazy reality/anime/gamer bent person, but this takes the cake.

Has anyone told him that he has issues? Like that kind of stuff really isn't okai.


It gotta be more to it than just too much time playing games and whatnot. People like that more likely than not got real mental issues. I just hope the guy doesn't end up doing something that harms innocent people. It sounds like he needs help.


I don't think something like this would be meant to hurt innocent people, even if it's a mental illness, but you're right, it could happen. Hopefully not tho.
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as the others said your friend needs get to checked upon
he may be a compulsive liar and believes that what he says are truth

and/or he may also be schizophrenic where he gets delusions and mixes it with the truth

did he have any traumatic experience when he was younger?
the brain does things to help escape the 'pain'

we can only give ideas, bottom line is...professional help is needed to detect why your friend is your doing what he is doing

since we are not the one who can see him, try gauging the situation.
is he a danger to himself or to anyone? if he isn't any danger like the guy in 'Big Fish' then just humor him but sometimes bring out the truth in ways he will not be offended
do you think it is still healthy?
ask other people concerned like his family
if they agree with you then you might want to intervene

PS. I think this belongs in LRR
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UsagiHime wrote...
I think possibly you and your friends need to sit him down and have an intervention. He is probably a good person and there is nothing creepy about mental illness regardless of the severity I am sure he has a disorder of some form. Sitting him down and together calmly telling him your concerns is a better solution than allowing him to go on like this. He is putting himself in danger and could possibly be a threat to you as well, you never know how these delusions will progress to becomeing violent or risky. It may be time he learn from those who care that he may need professional help and honestly don't let him walk away without convincing him to get help.


monpekokero wrote...
I agree with what Usagi said. At the same time too he might be using this to escape his day to day problems, like the family issues you mentioned. There might be more going on behind the scenes than you know. I think you need to ask him and if there is something you might need to let him know he can talk to you about it instead of just running away to his fantasy land, because it seems like an extreme form of escapism.


Though It's not really an "intervention", my friends and I have often told him that what he is doing is not healthy, he knows that. It's just I think he doesn't know how to correct himself. Sometimes he becomes stubborn and treats the whole thing like it's a joke and continues doing what he does. He's not a violent person, I doubt that it'll come to the point that someone gets hurt. Most likely he would be the one that's going to get hurt. Of course, I won't just abandon him, I'm not like that. As for the escaping from reality part I think that's a big part of it. He doesn't really cope well with emotional situations. Especially when it comes to the girl he likes and his family. He usually a very cheerful person.

SkelliDrops wrote...
nateriver10 wrote...

Now, assuming that's one of the many stories, it's possible he could be a compulsive liar. Some people enjoy lying and eventually start doing it to embelish their life. I dunno, maybe if you could give some more examples.


This could also be it, I've known people to be the exact same, lying about being known and famous, or this one girl I went to school with who constantly said she had a band, played shows in NYC, and she'd make up random boyfriends all the time.

Compulsive lying is pretty bad too, so either way you guys should definitely sit him down and talk to him about these things.


It seems to be like that. He would make up stories that are so farfetched no one would believe it. If he is proven wrong he will make up excuses. I think it's a mix of compulsive lying and delusion.
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SkelliDrops wrote...
FinalBoss wrote...
SkelliDrops wrote...
Winged-Fapper wrote...
Sounds to me like he has to get out of his moms basement, and just go outside find another hobbie. It seems that he spends WAY too much time in front of a computer monitor, and that's just not healthy.


I completely agree.. that's like super creepy.
I thought my sister was a crazy reality/anime/gamer bent person, but this takes the cake.

Has anyone told him that he has issues? Like that kind of stuff really isn't okai.


It gotta be more to it than just too much time playing games and whatnot. People like that more likely than not got real mental issues. I just hope the guy doesn't end up doing something that harms innocent people. It sounds like he needs help.


I don't think something like this would be meant to hurt innocent people, even if it's a mental illness, but you're right, it could happen. Hopefully not tho.


He is a gamer but not to the point where he would stay in all day and avoid other people. He's just an average gamer, the problem is that he is way too influenced by the games that he plays. In his situation it would seem more likely to harm himself than other people. This guy is one of my closest friends, he would never hurt people. He is most likely more prone to hurting himself because of this problem.

thanielle wrote...
as the others said your friend needs get to checked upon
he may be a compulsive liar and believes that what he says are truth

and/or he may also be schizophrenic where he gets delusions and mixes it with the truth

did he have any traumatic experience when he was younger?
the brain does things to help escape the 'pain'

we can only give ideas, bottom line is...professional help is needed to detect why your friend is your doing what he is doing

since we are not the one who can see him, try gauging the situation.
is he a danger to himself or to anyone? if he isn't any danger like the guy in 'Big Fish' then just humor him but sometimes bring out the truth in ways he will not be offended
do you think it is still healthy?
ask other people concerned like his family
if they agree with you then you might want to intervene


PS. I think this belongs in LRR


I'm not sure about the schizophrenic part but I don't think he had any traumatic experiences when he was younger. The thing is his dad somewhere around the world and that his mom doesn't like us(adult mentality?I don't know why) and she always seems to say nothing but negative things to him. Though, It's not to the point where it's very serious.
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I think if you are seriously worrier about him you need to see a professional that is there purpose I don't think anyone here can give your friend the perfect diagnosis we can only make assumptions based on what you have told us. No one has said he is an awful person or that he is violent or harmful but the way yoy have described him he could simply be a compulsive liar or even be skitsophrenic and that is up a doctor
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