I want to share something.

I already posted this on my Facebook page, but I feel that I need to open up more about this.

I was working a long shift at Taco Bell, simply hoping that it would go smoothly. I'd been hoping to ask a fellow co-worker out on a date, so I asked her what kinds of things that she does in her spare time. She replied that she hangs out with friends, goes to work, and sleeps. I didn't work up the nerve to ask her anything else.

Later, as I was taking orders in the drive-thru during the lunch rush, The fact that the lobby was busy and drive-thru was insane, in addition to having very little if any help, I was starting to mentally shut down. I could barely stay composed as I took the final order. My hands were shaking and my breathing was ragged as a fellow employee noticed my problems and relieved me of the headset. I had to sit in the break room to catch my breath.

As I tried the breathing strategies taught to me by my therapist, rather than calming down, I remembered that she (The girl I tried to ask) said she hangs out with friends. She's 18 years old, so I would imagine most of her friends are either graduated or still in high school. I'm 26 years old. How would I fit in there with high schoolers? I just realized my age, the fact that I don't feel 26, and the fact that I have no experience with dating in the slightest. That was when I began to sob uncontrollably.

Because of 22 years of LDS indoctrination, in addition to my Asperger syndrome, I was hit with the stark reality that taking the doctrine seriously and rather than using my youth to participate in activities I might have enjoyed, I wasted my youth on absolute lies. made in my youth to participate in the Boy Scouts and be a good little Mormon boy. I never enjoyed the activities, and in some cases they left me traumatized and angry.

It never helped that the LDS church really doesn't value intellectual pursuits or introverted personalities whatsoever. They might pay lip service to those things, but especially in the case of introverts, people are constantly forced into roles of little missionaries in which they have to constantly act friendly and upbeat, or you were considered a bad Mormon.

Let's not forget the constant monitoring of 'sexual purity' by bishops. Their constant repeating of the mantra that the only type of sin worse than sexual sins was murder.
So here I am, a horny teenager, told that even fantasizing was nearly the equivalent of murder.

Some time after my de-conversion, I still seem to be suffering the effects of the brainwashing. My confidence only took off after leaving the church, but some of my lower self-esteem issues seem to correlate with things that feel like they stole from me. I need to get this off my chest. The leadership of the LDS church are not "seers" and they are not "prophets". They are psychopaths without a hint of guilt in what they've done to the thousands, if not millions of the people of the world suffering from their brainwashing and their deceit.

After telling my mom, whom has social work experience, and my therapist, about my experiences, they've told me that my symptoms are exactly that of someone leaving a cult. I was robbed of a normal youth and had my sexual growth stunted, but all I can do is try to work with the hand I've been dealt by the troll that is life.

I'll ask her out anyway, to hell with the opinions of others. Even if she turns it down, I'll have the knowledge that I've taken the first major step to moving on from my past. This will also be one of the last middle fingers to a cult that is barely more sane than Scientology.

A major argument that the LDS church uses in its defense of the 'Truth' is that critics of the church are simply bitter and working for the Devil. The church claims that many critics are former members and have turned away from the 'Truth' to chase sins. With all of the lies that the church constantly tells, it has the nerve to attack the members that realized that they were lied to (and using tithe money to build a mall. Seriously, they did that). In short, they bring all of the criticism on themselves.

I've got a way to go with therapy and other things to catch up with similarly aged peers (Not only in dating, but in friendships, and social circles in general), but it'll be much easier without the anchor of faith around my neck.

Wow, good luck to you man.

Thanks. I just felt the need to vent.

Sorry that being in America's most popular homegrown cult didn't work out for you in the end. Best of life getting back on track with your life.

Humans have always clung to virtues and concepts that match their own ideals. Unfortunately, some of those concepts are outdated and even toxic to the human psyche. Unaware of the effects it may have on them and others, it gets passed from generation to generation. There's a study out there that stated religious kids have more trouble distinguishing fantasy from reality than children who aren't indoctrinated with a religion. There are also stories of people who get married, but have trouble performing their sexual duties because they were drilled into their heads as children that it was impure.

You're one of many victims of a religious group that takes their message to the extreme. They think they're doing a good service, and making the world a better place, but in the end, they're just part of the problem. Its fine to have beliefs that contrast with other people, but to indoctrinate children with those beliefs and not give them a choice to decide for themselves is just one step short of criminal.

I agree with all of that entirely. Thankfully, I've been an atheist for 4 years and extremely happy with my choice. My parents left the church as well, but they're still religious. My mom told me that had she known about the LDS' history and the effect it would have on me, she'd have never joined.

Anyway, one way I've moved on is by joining Fakku! Not only have I always loved hentai (Wacking off was not exactly tolerated, but being a horny teen, it attracted me even more to it), but joining a porn forum to kind of tell my old leaders to go fuck themselves feels so liberating.

I know a lot about the LDS, almost joined, didn't.
Glad I didn't.
Welcome!

I'm glad you didn't either. Looking at it from the outside now, I can't imagine ever believing this horseshit.

Christianity is a Jewish cult so all jebus sect are cults with a cult and sometimes inside another cult. My cult was just first. Praise Yahweh.

Like I once said:
if Jewish Cult is Twilight:
Christiannity is 50 Shades of Grey, a fanfic of Twilight made it's own thing with added sadomasochism.
And Islam... would be the fanfiction of 50 Shades of Grey mades it's own thing.

On a more serious note, I strongly advise, for those who haven't looked it up yet, to look up "Jesus Camp". A truly disturbing documentary on how religious bastards manage to indoctrinate children.

I couldn't watch it all the way through. It's just terrifying.

Actually, that's pretty close to a quote that I've used lots in the past. It's something I got off of another forum, but pretty close to that metaphor:

Fucking perfect, I think you can't be more accurate.

Man, I ended up converting to mormonism a few years ago. If I wasn't depressed and stuff I would've listened to my red flags that were thrown up when the missionaries were teaching me, also the whole guilt tripping thing didn't help. I'll probably use the church though when I move cause fuck it why not. *note: I'm still technically inactive but luckily the ward up here doesn't give a shit about me lol*

Yeah i never liked my church but damn at least they still preached free will and virtue.

Roman Catholic here, the faith that doesn't really care of you follow our rules... except for the gay thing, that's a no go.

I know a practicing Catholic lesbian. I really don't get how the hell that works and we aren't really friends so I don't think she'd appreciate my asking.

Well, the pope says shes going to hell but I'm sure her local priests dont give a shit, or dont know. Rules set down by the Vatican are not the same rules the rest of us follow, most follow the "spirit of the new testament"(be kind, generous, love your fellow man) rather than the literal interpretation of the old testament.

It's always a challenge. I hope you being well with her.

Religion has always been used as a method of control (on a larger scale) and creating order by those in power, it should not be surprising to see many of those with high positions in churches to be corrupt, and/or psychopathic.

It's not that the morals don't protect people and aren't good, it's the people who abuse their authority to get around the rules they themselves set that are wrong.

Even if I were to believe that there were a higher power, I would still strongly disbelieve that he'd want people to spread 'his words', claiming that their words were his words.

Even if the so-called 'holy books' were really the 'words of god', people using them would be considered blasphemy, by the logic of religion, one rule of which most monotheistic religions share is not using the name of their lord in vain, and by speaking words from the books and claiming their words to be true, they ARE using those words, as well as the name of their lord/savior/god in vain when spoken, because the words were NOT spoken BY THE GOD.

That aside, most religions are actually morally and socially backwards, so I can see easily how it can be negative on someone's life in many, many ways.

For the record, I come from a very religious catholic family who was more old testament style, I chose to forgo the route my parents put in front of me, though.

To be fair, the holy books do have some good lessons to take away, like the golden rule, but most of the decent lessons are shared not only by all monotheistic religions but also most polytheistic religions as well.

tl;dr organized religion is bad, but good lessons can still be taken if you apply the ones that are actually worthwhile to your life.