A not so Crappy sitiuation anymore.
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So there's a girl iv become interested in. Now a few issues she had previously dated my best friend. So this was a few years ago she moved on to a new guy and lost contact. So she recently came back and she wants to get back with my friend but he does not want a relationship but he screwed her just to get some pussy. Now he don't plan on being with her. I confronted him and told him he cant do it anymore and hes stoped. Now i don't know how to approach her. I'm not sure if i should just tell her or what.(Oh yeah shes liveing with said friend at the moment.)
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Krimzonblade wrote...
she had previously dated my best friend.Just by that alone is your anwser.
It's unwritten law that a guy should NEVER date his best friend's ex, even if he hated her at one point.
Just my two cents.
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The Phenomenal One wrote...
Just by that alone is your anwser.
It's unwritten law that a guy should NEVER date his best friend's ex, even if he hated her at one point.
Just my two cents.
All's fair in love and war. There's no pain in the world like regret. Trust me, better to risk it than spend the empty parts of your future wondering "what if?". The best way to go about it is to wait till he hurts her. That may seem cruel but if she has feelings for him, nothing you say will mean anything to her.
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I agree with TPO about avoiding best friends' exes, especially if the two had a serious relationship. I would leave it up to him to tell her the truth. You're only degrading his trust in you by going behind his back and telling her what's going on.
Bros before hos.
Bros before hos.
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If I was your friend I'd be asking why you be cock blocking a brother but seems you like the girl a lot to be standing up for her (either that or you're a good guy). I'd say if you value your friendship don't go for it. It will cause problems, unless your friends chill and doesn't care, talk to him about it. Even though it'll seem like your getting his sloppy seconds.
I mean there are plenty of fish in the sea. Why this one in particular? Have you talked to this girl a lot and found that you both have common interests etc. ?
I mean there are plenty of fish in the sea. Why this one in particular? Have you talked to this girl a lot and found that you both have common interests etc. ?
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iast wrote...
If I was your friend I'd be asking why you be cock blocking a brother Well i cock block because she wants a relationship and not something short term so hes leading her along. Hes lucky hes one of my best friends or id have knocked his teeth out already. But i really like the girl and could see myself falling in love with her. Witch is kinda big because she has a daughter(not the friends in question). Wow the more i actually put down information the more i realize i should just stear clear of this but still want to go for it.
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To those who are telling you to abandon her.
Who are you to say that? If he really has feelings for her he should tell her.
Who are you to say that? If he really has feelings for her he should tell her.
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Evnyofdeath wrote...
To those who are telling you to abandon her.Who are you to say that? If he really has feelings for her he should tell her.
Well, coming from a female here... it'd look really shitty to me if the OP didn't talk it out with the friend before coming and trying to get with said girl. It's an absolute nono if the guy isn't okay with it. If you devalue your friends to that extent, regardless of the things that they decide and are free to do, you'd tend to devalue your relationships as well. That's just what I would think.
I do think it's wrong to try and encourage a person's behavior in a direction that you want because you have something to gain from it too. If you had been straightforward with your friend and said you're interested and you'd like it if he stopped fucking her casually, -that- would have taken balls and been very respectable. And that sir, should be your first move. Not approaching her, but your friend.
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If your feelins are THAT strong, I suggest you do things to get her to notice you, but she is your friend's ex and it almost never works out.
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Okay, I have quite a bit to say on this because I am in a very similiar situation.
So I am the girl in the situation basically, and I dated this guy for two years but he started to become a pretty craptastic boyfriend and I broke up with him. We were broken up for about five months and then I was playing my nintendo ds and I decided I wanted to learn how to mod it and some of my other consoles. So I was still friends with my ex, but he was still really in love with me and trying to win me back (yet not doing anything at all to get me back..hmm?) and so I asked him if he knew how too. He said no but his best friend did. So he gave me his best friends facebook and we started talking about it but quickly got off on tangents and soon would be talking everyday about pretty much everything and four months later we are still talking everyday as if we were the best thing in town.
So I told my ex I liked him. Of course my ex flipped out and went between saying YOU ARE AWFUL YOU RUINED MY LIFE, to YOU TWO WOULD BE SO GREAT TOGETHER! GO FOR IT so I gave him some time to cool off. he ended up telling his best friend I liked him and surprisingly..he didnt back away. and now we are having our first date tommorow actually..and my ex, is actually fine with it because we havent talked in months and he has had time to get over me and realize that he didn't really deserve to be with me cause he didnt do anything in the first place.
Now im not saying that all relationships work out like this, with everything eventually ending up cool with all three people. But ...all I can say is if you are really serious about being with this girl, go for it. But if this is just like "eh shes cute. " or "we both like mission impossible.." or something really small ...you probably want to back off and maintain your friendship.
And if you do decide to go for it, you should really sit down and talk to your friend about it ...as lame as that might sound. because itll be tough to swallow at first but you never know...fate has odd ways of working.
Remember: This isnt about what you can get away with. It shouldnt be ITS EITHER ME OR YOU ...which sadly it might come down too but it really shouldnt because if you do pursue this girl it should only be because you feel you have a legitimate connection with her and think theirs something really good that can come out of it . Like most relationship problems, what something like this needs is time and very open communication.
So I am the girl in the situation basically, and I dated this guy for two years but he started to become a pretty craptastic boyfriend and I broke up with him. We were broken up for about five months and then I was playing my nintendo ds and I decided I wanted to learn how to mod it and some of my other consoles. So I was still friends with my ex, but he was still really in love with me and trying to win me back (yet not doing anything at all to get me back..hmm?) and so I asked him if he knew how too. He said no but his best friend did. So he gave me his best friends facebook and we started talking about it but quickly got off on tangents and soon would be talking everyday about pretty much everything and four months later we are still talking everyday as if we were the best thing in town.
So I told my ex I liked him. Of course my ex flipped out and went between saying YOU ARE AWFUL YOU RUINED MY LIFE, to YOU TWO WOULD BE SO GREAT TOGETHER! GO FOR IT so I gave him some time to cool off. he ended up telling his best friend I liked him and surprisingly..he didnt back away. and now we are having our first date tommorow actually..and my ex, is actually fine with it because we havent talked in months and he has had time to get over me and realize that he didn't really deserve to be with me cause he didnt do anything in the first place.
Now im not saying that all relationships work out like this, with everything eventually ending up cool with all three people. But ...all I can say is if you are really serious about being with this girl, go for it. But if this is just like "eh shes cute. " or "we both like mission impossible.." or something really small ...you probably want to back off and maintain your friendship.
And if you do decide to go for it, you should really sit down and talk to your friend about it ...as lame as that might sound. because itll be tough to swallow at first but you never know...fate has odd ways of working.
Remember: This isnt about what you can get away with. It shouldnt be ITS EITHER ME OR YOU ...which sadly it might come down too but it really shouldnt because if you do pursue this girl it should only be because you feel you have a legitimate connection with her and think theirs something really good that can come out of it . Like most relationship problems, what something like this needs is time and very open communication.
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Evnyofdeath wrote...
To those who are telling you to abandon her.Who are you to say that?
I'm Guilty Guardian. You know what that means? It means I'm right.
Come on anyone with a fourth of a brain and even minimal relationship experience would know this something to move on from.
Mr.Shaggnificent wrote...
Welcome to the Jerry Springer show.Agreed, that's more than likely what will happen in this situation.
But If you really want to do it, I'm not stopping you, go for it. That's all there is to it.
But if it were me, and I'm just saying, I would drop it.
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Krimzonblade wrote...
Oh yeah shes liveing with said friend at the momentThe moment she started to live with your friend,you lost your chance.
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To me, it sounds like you aren't quite sure what your feelings for this woman are. You should probably get a better understanding of your feelings before even considering the situation.
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Well i apprciate the advice and decided ill talk to my friend first. So wish me luck and u all have been great thanks.
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one thing though
"if he wasn't my friend i'd knock his teeth out"
Remember Bros before hoes only works if your bro isn't a dick.
Now I don't know the situation that well but if you're just keeping him as a friend because he's been a friend... Well you get the idea. To be honest I'd go for the girl try and say "you only went out with her for sex". If he argues against that he is most likely a retard.
"if he wasn't my friend i'd knock his teeth out"
Remember Bros before hoes only works if your bro isn't a dick.
Now I don't know the situation that well but if you're just keeping him as a friend because he's been a friend... Well you get the idea. To be honest I'd go for the girl try and say "you only went out with her for sex". If he argues against that he is most likely a retard.
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Hazah wrote...
Now I don't know the situation that well but if you're just keeping him as a friend because he's been a friend... Well you get the idea. To be honest I'd go for the girl try and say "you only went out with her for sex". If he argues against that he is most likely a retard.
Well i told him about it on saturday turns out hes trying to nudge her to go out with me. Funny how things work when they do though i was talking to said girl she brings a what she wants in a guy a practically describes me so WAHOOOOO!!!!