Advice

Aight, I'm in need of a bit of advice.. preferably from somebody who has experience in the matter.

So I went to see my dad today about fixing my car and shit, and we got onto a bit of a discussion about my girlfriend. he said he finds her a bit weird, in that she called him up last saturday and said 'you guys need to fix ben's car by the end of the weekend' (someone threw a rock through my window if you didn't know) and he said she never really says please or thankyou and doesn't talk very often.. and apparently rang mum up and told her she needs to buy me more clothes..

Now, I'll say, I really like my girlfriend, but I don't want her to hate my parents, or my parents to hate her.. etc etc

I've been meaning to talk to her about my parents having no money (cause whilst i was talking to dad, he showed me all the money he owes... and how hard it is trying to pay it all back) and her saying please and thankyou a bit more (eg when mum cooks a roast or whatever, she should say thanks when she gets it or whatever)

Now, dad told me a story about one of his hockey friend saying that the guy was exactly the same, his girlfriend would talk over the top of him, would control him and he would just go with it. it eventually got so bad that he realised, and then they broke up... but by no means was the break-up a good one.

I really want to talk to her about it, but i don't know how.. and i'm afraid if i do, she'll hate my parents for me bringing it up, or worse, might break up with me... but i suppose if we break up over it, it was never meant to be.

Any ideas how i should ask it at this stage?
I was thinking something along the lines of:
'look, When I was talking to dad, he told me lots about how he is going financially.. I don't want them to spend anything on me anymore, they need all their money to pay off their loans. Dad told me about the manner in which you talked to him when the cars window got broken.. and he also discussed how he was worried about the fact you never said please or thankyou around them.. They aren't trying to pick on you, they just want us both to be happy... and don't want us to break up over the parents bringing it up or us asking for money etc.'

I can't say they're worried about me being with you.. or something like that, cause last time i brought something dad said up like that, she found it as a threat and was grumpy for the rest of the day.. I'm pretty sure she thinks less of dad because by the way i said it it sounded like he was expecting us to break up..

So, I really need to tell her the right way. If all else fails, and she gets annoyed at dad, i'm going to go there, and i'm going to sit them both the fuck down and tell them to talk it out. say 'sick of you going off at me for misinterpreting what dad says, dad tell her what you think she needs to work on/ stop doing.. and then Maggie, you sit here and take it. if you don't like it, too bad. sick of you hating on my parents. (this is assuming she does end up hating on them)

So anyway, any good ways of saying it without invoking hatred towards my parents?

How long have yall been together? She should be more polite and considerate of your parents. Doesnt matter how long or comfortable she is with them she needs to learn manners and be respectful. If she has a problem with your clothes or car, she should go to you, not the parent. And explain to her your parent situation and she should understand and back off a little. There is no hard-feeling but if she takes it offensively then she needs to grow up. Seems like she's bossy and dominant.

It just worried me.. dad said it's best to tell them before they get power hungry... I've been slapping her on the nose in a sense.. if she talks over me, i just go 'hey, i was talking' but then again, i do it sometimes as well.

You are both right. I'll wait till she finishes work (and i finish, cause i finish after her)
I did mention today that my parents were 1.1million dollars in debt. ie, they have lots of loans.. and she was like 'holy shit, and i thought my parents having 75k worth of loans was bad..' and i said 'so you see why i don't want to borrow any of their money/ get them to pay for my car'
subtle.. but i think i'll bring up the full thing later. probably tomorrow when we are back at the house.

But yes, thank you both for saying what you did. It does make it a bit harder that we are living together @xodarap, we've been going out for 10 months now.. I think it's more so my fault her getting the idea that my parents have lots of money.. considering they just built a fuckoff awesome house. but yeah, she is a girl who is a bit shy, but also keeps to herself.. well, around strangers.. i think she needs to get comfortable with my parents. as strange as that sounds, she is still a bit shy around them i think..

But yes, I will have a chat with her properly when we go back home (been at a friends house for the last week) so we'll have some privacy..

All in all, thanks for all that. I'll post up results after i talk to her about it.

Oh, and yes, she is a bit dominant, but i am just a guy who goes with it.. I'm all about her being happy... Thus why i don't see many friends these days.. i don't want her to be alone and sad whilst i'm gone (she is a bit needy, but what can you do.) I'll eventually start going to friends a bit more, once i find her a hobby lol.

So I talked to her about it, she said she doesn't hate my dad, she just finds him like her mum (who constantly goes on about money, and yells at her about her job and shit constantly) but a bit less intense.. i told her not to hate him, he just wants us to be happy.

So all in all, it went a lot better than planned.. and she doesn't hate my dad, she just thinks he thinks she's an ungrateful spoilt brat.. when he doesn't afaik.. basically she told me she does say thankyou when needed, and the conversation on the phone went differently.. so i'll probably talk to dad about it, and tell him what she said, and how i've been getting her to say please and thankyou a bit more haha.

But yeah, all in all, went well.. thanks guys :D