Age difference to big?

I have just recently started to date a woman who is 11 years older than me, though she is Chinese so looks wise it is very hard to see :) (and she is hot!! :). I know that the older you get, the less age difference means, but I am still a bit worried about this gap. I am 27 my self.

To make matters more complicated then I recently moved to Hong Kong where I will live for minimum 3 years, and all the friends I have gotten so far are from the same circle of friends which already know each other. The woman I have started seeing is from this circle of friends and if things go bad between us I will probably risk losing basically all my friends at once as they have only known me for a short time.

Just to make it clear, the woman is really great and I do like her very much, but we only just started seeing each other and our common circle of friends do not know anything yet, so if I want to pull the emergency brakes on this new relationship, now is the time.

My question is:
when the age difference is to much? and
should I consider the risk of loosing most of my new friends for the sake of a relationship?

I think it is up to you to decide on how much is too much. If you have no problem with the 11 year gap and you like her that much, I don't see why you shouldn't continue your relationship. Personally, I think an 11 year gap is still acceptable.

As for your second question, I can safely say that I'd be willing to take that chance. If things don't work out between the both of you in the end, there's also the possibility that your circle of friends wouldn't mind and continue being friends with you.

I wish you good luck with your relationship.

Dunno, never worked for me, but I think it depends on the persons involved.

Really depends on the people. My mother's parents actually had an age difference of 16 years, so 11 isn't that bad. :D

Although I was quite worried about my own (sadly by now ex-) girlfriend being 8 years younger than me as well until my mother reminded me of this little fact, so I know the feeling...




If you're serious about the relationship, others' opinions shouldn't matter, I'd say.

I agree with what everyone else says, that it all matters on the people for age differences. A pair of friends of mine dated from nearly a year and recently broke up, but they're still good friends and its not awkward at all. He was twice her age.

So, maybe talk to her.
Tell her that you really like her but are afraid of losing your friends if it were to turn sour.

^ Pretty much this

I think the age difference starts becoming irrelevant once said person(s) reach adulthood. It obviously can be problematic through adolescence, but people still seem to hold on to the stigma towards age difference ever after adulthood, where it just doesn't matter anymore.

I mean I got some huge flack when I was sixteen for dating a girl who was thirteen, turning fourteen not long after my sixteenth birthday. Everyone kept saying I was trying to "rob the cradle" and everything, but I didn't care. I loved her and a few years difference didn't matter much to me, and they certainly wouldn't have now. We are no longer together, but now I'm twenty-three and she just turned twenty-one. I doubt anyone would have a problem with it now if we started dating. ... well except maybe her husband. Har har.

Has long as she not too old like in hip breaking with some passionate love making, then it all good to have a cougar.

I don't see a problem with that... once a person reaches adulthood there shouldn't be any problems. I'm friends with a girl who is 7 years younger then me but we hang out just like good friends and drink and all that. No romantic stuff there, she's like a sister to me (though my mother is trying to get us together but both of us are not interested that way in each other), however I did date a girl while she was still in high school and I was in college, that was really weird but once your an adult, don't see what the problem is.

I've always thought that age difference only matters in high school when you "legally" become an adult and your partner is still a "child." I mean hell, I have an aunt who is ten years younger than me because my grandpa remarried and had kids with a woman who was twenty years his junior.

Thanks guys, great advice :) You have confirmed what I already knew.

Sometimes I guess it is just nice to have others confirm that my fears/doubts are unfounded :)

If age is a problem then you are not thinking straight, after you turn a certain age, relationships could be with just about anyone who knows what "Love" is.

Making friends and losing friends, who are the real friends that would stay beside you regardless of the situation?

I am just letting you know what was on my mind when I read what you posted.

But it's good to have the feeling of being right about your self, try an keep it that way based on your own decisions, be more confident on what you do and you will be alright.

Shoot your 27. Your more or less mature at this point (I would imagine). I've been in your shoes kinda. I'm 20 (be 21 soon) and I had a crush on a girl who was 28. I really wanted to make a relationship out of it, but I don't think she saw me in that light, still being young and all. At least we're good friends :) so I guess that count's for something. I personally believe that age shouldn't effect your relationship. If your mature enough, and up to the responsibility, go for it.

The age difference is pretty irrelevant, honestly, since you're both overage. If your worried about your mutual friends, you either have to decide if you like/love her enough to continue to have a real relationship, or if your friends would mean more to you. Hopefully at this point, even if you guys were together for a long time and broke up, your friends would still be fine with both of you. c:

when it comes to age I myself don't like to go pass 5 years but in all truth it doe not matter at all as long as they are of age :=]

I think getting an older partner which is wiser than you i better, than getting a younger one that is so immature. :|

Look's like you found your self a sugar mama desu.

As long as both people involved possess the traits required to maintain a healthy relationship (honest, trustworthy, understanding, patient, compromising, flexible, fair, communicative, reciprocating, etc), I don't think it should matter how big of a gap there may be in the age difference between the two of them.

Does her shoe size matter? No, neither does her age. If she's 18+, it's on.
As for the 2nd question, a scene in The Tourist explains my views quite elegantly:
Frank (F): I’m sorry.
Elise (E): What for?
F: Do you mind me smoking? It’s not a real cigarette.
E: What?
F: It’s electronic. It delivers the same amount of nicotine, but the smoke is water vapor. Yeah, watch! LED light.
E: That’s somewhat disappointing.
F: Would you rather have me smoking for real?
E: No, I would rather you be a man who did exactly as he pleased

Mmm..Not too much. I've just seen too much maury with the cougars or really old grampa's dating young girls~xD Personally a few years isn't much to fuss over~ As long as you see eye to eye~ that's what matters most