Family Crisis/Situation/What-have-you

So we're having a bit of a situation at my house because my grandmother learned that my little sister and her boyfriend have been having sex. They have been dating for about four or five years. I was surprised but not particularly shocked. My grandmother on the other hand, well you know how a volcano seems to smolder before it erupts. She has views that I personally think are way behind the times. My grandmother has this saying, "If it was wrong a hundred years ago, it's wrong now." She seems to be concerned that my sister could be pregnant, which is understandable. I've talked with my sister and she stated they were using protection.

You know what, I don't really know where I'm going with this. Just... what do you make of this situation?

A hundred years ago, weren't people getting married and having kids at a young age? I know that my grandparents were married at 17, and began pumping out my asshole family not too long after that.

But if not, she's old, and old people just don't understand.

I'm assuming your sister knew about your grandmother's opinions before the sex, so now she gets to show her maturity by ignoring her grandmother and avoid being drawn into a fight. Your parents or guardian should talk to your sister, not the grandmother.

Well both of our parents are deceased and we live with our grandparents. My sister turned 18 last November.

My condolences on the death of your parents.

Your sister will have to discuss this as calmly as possible with them. But really it's her house and her rules, even if you're 18. Probably for the best if she maintains a polite fiction around them and cavorts in private elsewhere.

[font=Tahoma]Its just because of the difference in times. Sure, back a hundred years ago they were getting married at young ages and having children...but it was meant to be after marriage. Perhaps that is the problem as well as pregnancy.[/font]

Well back then sex was for having kids not for fun, but you grandmother just cares for your little sister and like you said she does not want her to get pregnant. But if your sister is 18 she is an adult so she can do whatever she wants, but if she is still staying with your grandmother she has to respect her. I had a bad experience with protection twice its not always safe if she does not use birth control with it or spermicide.

depends on how old your sister is. But as a brother, youre doing it wrong. You should have prevented her from doing em shit. *depending on the age*

Her body.. of course grandma isn't going to like her granddaughter being pumped.. Chill and get your own place if can.

I have no idea where you got that idea. But for the most part, sex was still sex, they just weren't open about it.

I'm sorry but that's bullshit. People have always bumped each other for pleasure. The Kinsey studies have *clearly* proven that. It's just that the morals of 100 years ago were a lot more hypocritical.



So is this. She's not a child, she's 18. Even a teenager has some rights and handling them like invalid, stupid children is the surest way to alienate said person and make your opinion (in their eyes) worth less then shit.

Unfortunately since I think you're living in the USA your options are a lot worse then in other places in the world where your education, welfare and health-care are provided by the state instead your own folks.

What about you? Could you support your sister while she gets her collage degree?

from my ethics teacher during my times in high school

You've got their situation backwards. It's not them supporting their grandparents but the other way around... and "putting someone in an elderly home" because you have a conflict of views gives me an impression of appalling callousness.

The best thing he could do would be to talk with her grandma and try to find out *why* she's so mental about this. Does she believe this is immoral and that's it, or does it stem from something more? She could be afraid your sister might get pregnant and be a social outcast for being a single mother (...as her boyfriend may not marry her). Maybe your sister going on the pill could alleviate her fears, even if it won't make her happy with the situation.

I admit it's unlikely they'd change their mind. However that's not the point. It's about *listening* to what they have to stay as it's the least to gain their respect. No, they likely won't agree with you but if you're willing to listen to their reasons without bitching & backtalk than you have the basis to request the same. You likely won't agree, but you'd at least have a basis to come to some compromise.