Friends vs your boy/girlfriend

Okay so I posted a response on a topic and it got me thinking about something me and my friend were talking about....yes the same friend who always seems to come up in my topics for anyone who would know....we discuss things a lot what can I say.

When we were talking about his brother finding someone I can quote him in saying the following: "One of my highest credentials me and my brother have is whether or not one of us likes the other's girlfriend as a person."

When we were discussion whether or not his new girlfriend would be okay with me hanging out too he said the following: "Doctor, you're my friend, if she doesn't like you hanging out with you then chances are I won't end up liking her anyway."

So I suppose I have two questions for the Fakku masses.

1. How big of a deal for your is your significant other liking your friends too?

2. If you were in a situation where your friends didn't like you boy/girlfriend, what would you do about it, how would you handle it, and would you ever bring him/her up in casual conversation with them?

When it comes to relationships, Everything should fits as a soft piece of a puzzle to complete as a Whole "Relation" to one another. That is what I beleive in heart. Not everyone is perfect and people will adject over time depending how much they value of one another. You also need to weight things of relations with friends and girlfriend/boyfriend that is what is best.Conmuication is very imporant to find the reasons why one's friend or partner doesn't like the other person. But anyway here is my answer to the following questions you ask.

1. I think it is imporant for the most part because if your friends see something that you might not see. They will be your GOOD
Friend and look out for you. But it really depends on the reasons. But as long is they respect each other friends and family. Then should be good.

2.If my friend didn't like my girlfriend, I would first find the reason why and talk about it. As much I hate to being in the middle of conflicts, I do it because I value my friendship and partnership. I just hope they both do as well.

It's my significant other, not theirs. Of course, I believe myself enough to get a girlfriend that my friends and family can easily accept, so hopefully, I won't have to face situation number 2.

Assuming that my (hypothetical) girlfriend and I do love each other, then if the clash comes just from dissenting personalities, then I'd most likely stick with my girlfriend. I mean, yeah, you may not like how she is, but that very thing may be why I love her in the first place. I'm not letting go of her just for that.

However, if friends and family start to say sketchy things about her, around the likes of "she's using you", "she's tearing you apart", or "she's cheating on you", then I'd probably look into it a little myself and talk to her about it. If I smell something's up when it is, I'll push further and check. Any evidence I find of my friends and family saying the truth, and it's bye-bye birdie.

If your friends notice something weird up with your significant other, and you trust their judgement, it might be time to step back and re-examine who you're dating.

However, it's not a deal breaker. You can like someone they may not, but keep in mind if they're true friends, they're considering your interests as well.

This is a difficult one. Normally I'd go for a girl that my friends would like so I wouldn't have to "hide her away", nor would I want to cut off all contact with my friends for her because I'd want to keep them prioritised equally.

Now you can argue that you can't help who you fall for, but if your friends don't like your S/O then there's got to be a good reason for it. They're true friends if they worry about who you're dating, so if any alarm bells are rung then it's up to you to answer that call. Maybe she has a bad reputation or have wronged them in the past? Or if they don't know them, then the reason may just be on first impressions, an impulsive hatred. If that happens, hear both sides of the story and if the reason isn't valid enough, try to get them to hang out with each other. Who knows, they might even tolerate each other after a while. However if they know each other then yeah, re-evaluat who exactly you're going out with.

I'm one of those people that just wants everybody to get along.

Thanks, you saved me the trouble of typing all that.

my friends are a important part of my life, we thought about this senario a long time ago and came to the conclusion that unless someones health was in danger we would stay out of each others romantic relationships, my wife is probably the only girl close to the group because of how we met, but to be honest with you i could count on two fingers how many of my best friends girls i have actually met face to face thats not by accident we planed it out like that so to avoid a "choose me or her" senario if i do meet any of my friends girls it doesnt go beyond "hi" and "bye" i dont know the inner workings of there relationship and they dont know mine.

I guess im naturally that type of person tho, different parts of my life i keep seperate from other parts to avoid conflict.

So I'm going to say this without reading any other replies in detail, because tired gf is in bed wanting me to come to bed for sleeps...

I find I want my family and friends to be accepting of my significant other... friends not so important, but family yes... If the family doesn't like her, something is really wrong.
If my significant other didn't like my family or friends, she wouldn't be my significant other for long, simple as that... You don't like my family or my friends, you shouldn't be with me.
Glad mine does like my family and my friends xD

I reserve the right to live and love how I feel is right for me.

Truth be told, some of my friends didn't approve of James right away. I told them to kiss my ass. He makes me -happy-, and he treats me -how I deserve-, and at the end of the day, that's what matters. A good friend wants that for their friends, and I have it. So any further discrepancies are just personal problems. :/

It also helps he's the most likeable guy on Earth. Once they met him, they got it.

If a friend of mine didn't like him, even after meeting him and getting to know him, I wouldn't change at all. I'm happy around him, and if that's not good enough for a friend, clearly they're not really my friend, are they?

I agree with Lollikittie's opinion. I believe that a relationship is definitely my own. I don't want people popping irrelevant opinions about my significant other. I would of course think that my girlfriend should get along with my friends and/or family. I mean she'll met them eventually if we go out and I don't want shit to happen.

As for your questions.

1.Not much of a big deal but I would like her to at least get along normally with my friends. Even if my friends aren't the most polite bunch in the planet. Of course, funnily enough they don't share my interest anyway...Still don't know how the heck I started hanging out with them.....

2.I would ask what is it that they don't like. If it IS a problem, I'll try and solve it. If it's just them being dickheads, well.....I'll just tell them to put a sock in their assholes.

1. How big of a deal for you is your significant other liking your friends too?

It's not that big of a deal. However, I expect my boyfriend to be RESPECTFUL of my friendships. There is a difference between saying: "I don't think I'm capable of being friends with X." and "X is a disgusting whore. I don't get why you hang out with her. Blah, blah blah..."

However, this doesn't mean he isn't allowed to voice his concerns. Sometimes friends can have a negative impact on you. They can drag you down in some ways - for instance, you're in a monogamous relationship, but all your friends are single so you're constantly going out to the clubs every weekend, drinking more, wasting your money, etc. It's fine to do these things once and awhile, but if it's a constant problem then I think your partner absolutely DOES have a right to say that he has an issue with it. The point is that both parties need to be heard.

2. If you were in a situation where your friends didn't like your boy/girlfriend, what would you do about it, how would you handle it, and would you ever bring him/her up in casual conversation with them?

Well, seeing as I've been in an abusive relationship in the past I'm kind of sensitive to this. When you're in a relationship with someone who is treating you poorly, sometimes your love for them (and their power/control and manipulation over you) can blind you from seeing the truth about their character. If a friend has a legitimate concern for you... I think you should hear them out. If it's for no particular reason - then I wouldn't worry about it.

But it definitely is a red sign if more then one friend has serious concerns about your relationship. Most good friends want you to be happy with someone who cares for you, not the other way around - so at least hear them out without blacklisting them as trying to "get between" you and your significant other.

If they were just being hateful for no reason, I'd try to find the root cause. This could potentially disturb the friendship, since ... well, my boyfriend is a huge part of my life. (On a side note: WE JUST SIGNED A LEASE FOR AN APARTMENT TODAY, YAY!!!) Since we do a lot together, it's inevitable that he's going to come up in conversation. I'm not going to censor myself for anyone, especially if it is about something or someone I love.

Luckily, this hasn't happened for me. My friends love him, and his friends love me. Same with our families! We're all extremely close... minus his middle brother, however, who is a pain in the ass. Nevertheless, we manage to at least attempt to be civil around one another, and since EVERYONE finds him a little rant-worthy it isn't like I'm bothered over something no one can understand. Still, it's fortunate that he's the only one who causes issues for us!

I'll save the Bruce Lee one for when you two actually get hitched. XD